As far as hellfire goes, I would not lose too much sleep over the thought that your ‘sins’ in life are going to have landed you in a pit of fire for eternity. That isn’t what happens. In anycase, when you are dead, you do not feel. You could sit in a cauldron of boiling water all day. Your burning happens while you are living. That is what conscience is. That is also what dumb public opinion is. A branding. Should it be negative opinion that follows your happenings – and your management of those happenings – you will feel the burn. That burn is what you learn from. It is not often easy to be thankful to those who cause you to burn in this life, in fact it is most often the desire of those under fire to do some serious damage to the person or institution doing the burning. However. There is always the charitable process of instant forgiveness via the grace of God – if that way is for you. Or – you tolerate the burn and try to understand what is causing the friction in your days.
If you should find that it is you that is causing friction for yourself because you are being an arsehole in life – and again, both men and women qualify as arseholes – then you must accept the burn. You allocate to yourself your suffering. You will burn until you are made humble enough to realise that the way you think and the way you behave towards others does matter. You will burn until you adjust your attitude to include the understanding that everything you do in life is measured. Every single thing. If you are feeling friction because external prejudice is criticising you or your choices, you need to distance yourself from the idiots who practice that prejudice. Burning because you are gay, for instance, is unacceptable. Burning because you dare to follow your heart? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. Who dares persecute a person who decides to follow what might appear to the masses to be an ‘unconventional’ path in their pursuit of purpose? Convention, as a norm, is a load of shit – and tradition is not much better. They both confine dreams, thinking. Tradition and convention are constructs. Reconstruct them.
There are those who enjoy burning. And there are those who enjoy being on fire. Leave them be. It depends what you have been trying to achieve with your life as to how close you will have ventured to the flames and how long you will have exposed yourself to their heat. Fire is transformative, no matter how you look at it. The hotter your spot – and we all know what hot means – the more corrective your karma. That is such a simple concept to understand. Let karma play out the way it must. It has your best interests at heart.
And keep in mind that for a phoenix, fire is necessary for rebirth. For rising. In the same way the burn caused by your conscience is necessary. If you have no conscience, know that you are going nowhere.
Travel humbles you. Please – if you have any spare money at all, use it to travel. It gives you a sense of your space on this planet. Send your children travelling – as a first priority. Before studying. Travel is the wisest investment. All at once when you are travelling you are vulnerable, intuitive, open to suggestion. Obliged to trust – and act on – your instincts. That means watching, taking into consideration other people and their actions for the entire duration of your journey. You are not more open than when you travel.
Please – one thing I do not understand. Why do so many European women think it is acceptable to suntan topless in the likes of Egypt, Tunisia, etc? The quiet men go insane. They are not used to tits in their faces unless they are married. If you want to get your tits out, then find a beach suitable for your predilection. Get a clue. There is no shortage of these beaches – or saunas – on the European continent – in fact, there is no shortage of these beaches or saunas anywhere in this world when you are a person who loves to spend time with your clothes off. Find what you want. The right place. Do not inflict yourself on someone else. Go for nudity if you want it, but know there is a place for your exhibitionism. Find where you are celebrated for your choices and stay there.
Understand that travelling is a privilege. A huge privilege. It expands your perception unlike anything else on this planet. New places, new people. Yes – if you are in doubt – do it. Give yourself the gift of perspective. Travel and see how distant your ‘real’ world is …
You are sensitive by nature, or you are not. Psychopaths are not. They are cynical, cruel, disenchanted with existing. Conscienceless. They abuse because they do not care. Perhaps they are born that way. Perhaps they are all made. That matters not. What matters is that there are a lot of them on this planet. There is not much you can do to improve a psychopath’s outlook. They carry within them a hatred that intensifies the longer they live. It is likely that a psychopath will do damage, young. I think there are a great many teachers at inner-city schools that are dealing with budding psychopaths on a daily basis. Is it their job to recognise these lost kids? And what do you do when you recognise a juvenile psychopath – keep your distance and just hope for the best? I think that is what many teachers and parents do. They watch kids being abnormal and they hope for the best. Please know that ‘normal’ does exist. It is being able to tell right from wrong.
Sensitivity is both a blessing, and a curse. Its blessing is that it is a portal. The curse is its tendency to render the environment hostile. This overworks your adrenals. If you are sensitive to all things that go on around you, inside of you and others, you will find living in this world to be something of an ordeal. Being acutely sensitive is usually acutely painful. There is a way to deal with this. You need to manage your sensitivity the way you do your emotions. Acknowledge it. But toughen yourself up, or accept that your heart is going to bleed every time you step outside. This world has a harsh reality.
It is not always possible to measure a person’s level of sensitivity by watching their behaviours. Don’t make assumptions. People conceal their feelings and control their reactions. It depends on who they want to show what. This usually has something to do with the issue of trust. Sensitivity is often hidden from view until a firm trust has been established. Even then, there may not be full disclosure. It depends on the nature of the relationship you are building and the extent of the damage previously done to both parties. Sadly, sensitivity is easily damaged. That is why you must manage it.
I think how you look at fatness depends on how fat you are, how fat you have been. I don’t think it matters one bit whether you are fat or not. Who cares? What worries me is fat people who refuse to admit that in order to have a fit, strong body you need to put in some serious work. Hot bodies do not get the way they are by accident. And there are such things as bodies that are hot, and bodies that are not. Our society has made this fact big business. It is a problem for some people to accept that ‘hot’ exists. It is real. Men and women respond to it, alike. I think it is essential to give credit where credit is due and to me it is hats off to every single person who eats with care and conditions their body. Simple. That is discipline. If you should choose not to spend any hours exercising, then that is your lifestyle choice. You are entitled to live any way you wish, but you must be happy with the you that your type of living produces. Some people have no desire to be active, or to be thin. I salute these people – the ones who don’t give a shit about their size because they do not equate a ‘better’ self with a thinner self. Theirs’ is a confidence, a kind of freedom that is to be admired – particularly in our über air-brushed world. I salute, too, the people who are addicted to endorphins. An exercise addiction in this world is not the worst addiction to have.
It is really important to understand that obesity is bad for you. If you can, stay on the smaller side of obese. It is one step too far. Unless you have a death-wish, in which case your health will not matter to you and you will carry on until you die. If you are addicted to food and you want to stop eating, you need treatment for your addiction like any addict needs treatment for their addiction. Please see this. Addiction is treatable. Perhaps, too, you need some unconditional love to fill the hole in your soul that you are stuffing with food. That particular hole can eat. A lot of people eat to escape how they feel. Others eat because the pleasure makes them feel temporarily alive. People eat to pass the time, too. Eating and boredom are good friends. If you are one of the people who is in love with the delights of eating – and passionate about everything food and cooking – then you will not want to stay away from it and you should not. Celebrate your passion: drown yourself in sensation.
Please do not make children obese. That is child abuse. It has nothing to do with aesthetics – it is just not fair. Your issues should not be theirs’. Know that comfort-eating is a habit, learned. It can be unlearned. If you should believe that showing love means feeding your children until they burst, then take a long objective look at any over-large child’s achievements in a competitive playground. If you do not care whether your child achieves anything in life, then that is a problem. Realise that as the parent of an obese child, you are misguided. You have a dysfunctional relationship with food. Please give your children a chance in their world. Like it or not, their world is body-conscious. Give your child self-esteem, encourage fitness, wellness. Don’t relegate a child to a place where it is first in line to be ridiculed. Remember, kids are cruel.