Tag Archives: arseholes

Open house means anyone can enter the premises.  The best kind of premises to let anyone enter are empty ones.  That way, nothing can go missing, or get damaged.  The other advantage to throwing open empty premises is that when the space becomes occupied it is clear to see who it is that you have inside.  That kind of absolute clarity is helpful when you need to identify arseholes and bounce them out.

It is possible to keep your house closed.  That is simply a choice that needs making.  Keeping your doors locked is guaranteed to keep undesirables from frequenting the premises, but at times it makes more sense to let them enter to find out what exactly their business is.  If they have legitimate business in your house they will be able to prove that to you should you ask.  And if it were me – and my house – I would always ask.  If they cannot give you good enough reason for their presence then they are trespassing and it will be necessary to bounce them out.

‘Open Sesame’ is one of many incantations, others being such as ‘Sim Salabim’ and perhaps even the time-trialled ‘Africadabra’.  That one is perhaps my favourite of all magic words.  All magic words open houses.  It is important to know what words open which houses and whether it is a wise idea to utter them without thinking.  If it were me – and my utterances – I would always think first.  If you speak out of turn, your own house might burn down.