It is helpful when you take catharsis seriously. It is a process of addressing, accepting, processing and purging. That there are four steps to the process is neither here nor there in the big scheme of things. There will always be as many steps as are necessary. Catharsis comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. There is a form of it to fit each and every person, you just need to know what works best for you when the time arrives for you to attend to your betterment.
It is fairly easy to understand that your catharsis cannot be decided for you by another. The point of it is to eradicate a personal pain. To fix wrongs and right rights. Make amends where you can. In light of the fact that for each person traumatic is something different, it is to be expected that the form a recovery takes will match accurately the damage done. Anything other than a cathartic process made-to-measure by the person on the receiving end of said damage would not be practical.
If you are unsure about how exactly to procure a catharsis for yourself that will work, it is possible to change that uncertainty by finding out exactly what damage has been done to yourself. It is no good hiding from that truth. For a catharsis to truly work it needs to know the insides and outsides of the person for whom it is working. There is only one way to do that: to be present and counted every time something happens to that person.