Sex – Blog No. 47

male-female-mobileSex is not a word that should make you shy or fearful in this day and age.  If it makes you fearful, then you have issues that need dealing with professionally.  If your sex is damaged in any way you need to address the subject with a person who is trained to tell you how to deal with the trauma and help you assimilate your experience(s).  If you are an adult shy around sex it means that you are immature in your understanding of its power.  If it makes you giggle and blush then you are probably Catholic.  Catholics and sex have a long history of conflict.  Puritans, too.  These religious institutions understand the power of sex and as such, will try to control it.  Theirs’ is a delusion.  The church cannot control the sex of a population.  That part of them belongs firmly to Nature.  How you choose to express your sexuality is your business.  There should not be anyone overly interested in your sexual persuasion unless you are a paedophile or a rapist, in which case you should be named, shamed, and then castrated.  A paedophile should not be allowed anywhere near children.  If you make the mistake of abusing a child even once – you should never be given a person’s faith again.  Ever.  For the rest – the normal human beings out there – you are what you are, and you are who you are.  No matter who or what you are, understand that sex is a sacred act.  It should be.  Who you choose as a partner is of consequence and what you do to and with their body is of consequence.

Sex is both give and take.  It is a learning.  It is not something you are born good at, it is something you get good at.  If you can be bothered.  In our contemporary society there is so much taking going on that the scales are seriously off balance.  People do not take time enough to learn each other well.  Men take sex from a lot of women – who offer it willingly to just about anyone who will show them attention.  This coupling is neither romantic, nor does it have anything to do with love.  It is an exchange of fluids and a flood of oxytocin.  Oxytocin is a very powerful hormone.  A lot of people are addicted to its effect.  This means a lot of people neither care nor worry about where they pull a partner from.  A lot of women are looking for princes and a lot of men know how easy it is to flatter the pants off a wannabe princess.  Wannabe princesses abound in our society.  I hope the men of the future are equipped to deal with the fall-out.

Excellent sex is about love.  Love is about soul.  It is about a true connection.  Pornography is not helpful as a starting block – there are too many people in our world with bent expectations of sex.  Hard-core porn and child-porn are particularly problematic – the trade in transgression is out of control.  It is not easy to correct a mindset aligned with transgression.  How do you stop a world, literally, from screwing itself up further?  You remind the people that sex is personal expression.  Be careful who you show what.  Have some respect.  Your demonstration speaks for you in more ways than one.  Should you wish to waste your sex on random strangers then know that you are damaging yourself.  Worse – you are using people.  If you use people you will be used.  Your sex will become empty and you will not be fulfilled.  To be unfulfilled is not something to aspire to.  Too many people use sex as a pain-killer in this fractured society.  This is wrong sex.  Right sex is a sharing.  And do not ever confuse physical intimacy with love.  They are not the same thing.  If you allow someone to take your body and use it for their own gratification – no matter what fairytales are singing in your ears – you are responsible for the damage done to your psyche.  You cannot escape your psyche – ever.  Keep it clean.


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3 responses to “Sex – Blog No. 47

  1. CJ. You make some excellent points on one of favorite subjects, as is the subject of love! Love is not an emotion – it’s a moment by moment decision. Good job dear one. Hugs till later!!!

    • Thank you, dear heart for your kind comments. I believe that without Love, Life is Meaningless. It appears to me that Men often play at Love for Sex, and Women often play at Sex for Love. It may be a sad commentary that explains a seemingly growing lack of committment in many relationships today.

      “Our early ancestors didn’t live as long as we do now, so perhaps they had less time to seek a mate. A caveman with a club dragging a mate off by her long hair might become widely accepted today as an example of ancient “speed-dating.” To a normal, healthy caveman, maybe all females caused him to react sexually toward them. However, it might not just be an ancient male trait.
      It appears that both men and women have an innate narcissistic mental imprint that causes them to want to “clone” themselves through genetic reproduction with a chosen mate. Perhaps “love at first sight” actually starts out as lust-at-first-sight which can be experienced by both males and females.
      Scientists are studying hormones that are associated with love, rather than lust, which can flood the brain as quickly as a flash of lightning. The brain can also register lust pretty fast. A person meets someone they want to share their genetic traits with, then proceeds to pursue them through seductive enticements, with an end-game of copulation and reproduction.
      Is mutual attraction based on beauty alone? And what is beauty? It seems we often base our concept of beauty on the obvious physical form of the objects of our attention. We use our personal sense of sight, touch, and even smell to justify our designation of beauty. If someone smells good to us they become more attractive.
      Would a rose be considered as sweet without its smell? Wouldn’t being pricked by the many protective thorns cause one to think negatively about this potentially dangerous flower? What should matter is what something is, not what it is called, or even how it smells. However, it appears that if something smells good, it is often perceived as being good; perhaps even beautiful. Upon quick analysis, it seems that Senora Adana is as seductive to me as the nectar that attracts humming birds! I was indeed becoming envious of my lifelong friend, Brother Louis. Why should a man of God like Brother Louis threaten someone as experienced and skilled with women as me?
      “A little healthy vanity can be a positive thing,” I said out loud to myself. “It often keeps one from being unkempt and unattractive. I am certainly not an ugly man!”
      Deep within the recesses of my Super-Ego, I remembered that many psychiatrists define narcissism, or excessive self-love, as a personality disorder characterized by an individuals overestimation of their own appearance and abilities. It often stems from an excessive need to be admired and loved.
      Sadly, most advanced narcissistic personalities become pathetic and insufferable in their desperate attempts to attract attention. Usually narcissists place so much emphasis on their self-directed sexual desire, they are never satisfied by anyone else except themselves. Many tend to become insatiable and unfulfilled with a partner, and can only reach complete satisfaction by making “love” to themselves. I knew that wasn’t my problem. I was simply becoming the victim of the deadly sin of Envy; perhaps even Pride!”__Excerpt from my draft manuscript, “The Tafoya Women.”

  2. “I was born this way!“ Many believe one is born homosexual or a sexual deviate, and no choices are involved. Yet there is no convincing factual scientific evidence to prove this hypothesis. There are many learned theories however. Some in society even trumpet homosexuality and lesbianism as an alternative lifestyle, and proclaim it to be normal. Modern Progressives seek to make the Abnormal appear Normal, but it does not satisfy the definition of normal, and precludes the existence of free-will.
    Normal, defined means behavior that is practiced by the majority of a group. Therefore, to a homosexual group, same gender sex may be normal. But to a heterosexual group, which is about 99% of the world’s population, homosexual sex is abnormal and a sexual deviation. In truth, it must also be stated that free of religious laws, “Morality” is the sum of the prejudices of a particular community. Therefore, moral abnormality is based upon the opinions of the majority.
    A person can be born effeminate, if male, and masculine, if female, and they may indeed be attracted to the same sex or not. However, a choice has to be made to enact the same sex relationship. This is a choice based on free-will. It is not something beyond one’s control, or something decreed by nature. It is merely a choice based upon sexual preference.
    Among some in society, sex with children, or animals, or with inanimate objects is what they prefer. The pertinent question is, were they born this way, or was it taught behavior? If one enacts this deviation from the norm, is society supposed to accept that it is a normal alternative lifestyle that is beyond a free will choice?
    It is time for society to quit making excuses for so-called sexual deviations, and recognize that each individual chooses to enact that which “turns them on.” They were not created, nor born to be a deviate. They must accept personal responsibility for their behavior, and choose by free-will that which they do. Therefore, any consequences for their actions must be borne by each individual.
    No personal condemnation is implied nor discussed because with free-will each individual must be responsible for, and accept the consequences of their own actions. Deviates are not victims to be patronized, by a particular society, nor in many cases, condemned. Unless a legal or moral law is broken, that is to say, Pedophilia or Bestiality, it should not be a crime imposed by society for one to chose an alternative sexual lifestyle. However, one should recognize that nobody is born into an alternative lifestyle. It is not predetermined, nor for that matter, is it a disease. It is a conscious choice. To believe otherwise is to deny free-will, and without free-will, all of mankind would be victims of Nature in a world filled with predetermination, disorder and chaos”
    Morals have changed so much today.
    As more and more just want to play and play
    Partners come and go like clouds in the wind.
    Scattering empty lives that will never mend.

    Women have accepted the challenge of equality.
    They flatter men with imitation, but without modesty!
    They are lured into relations without commitment.
    Then find their life empty of fulfilling enrichment!”__Excerpt from my book,”Teardrops Filling An Ocean.”

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