The very first thing you need to understand about blame is that it is a waste of your time. It is absolutely pointless. Do not weaken your standpoint in life by whining about who did what. You allow what happens to you to happen to you. Understand this. Take accountability, do not lay blame. The power in taking accountability will make itself apparent in your everyday. Be proud of who you are, what you believe and why you choose to do what you do. Taking accountability is empowering. It is not a punishment. It is standing up and saying, ‘Yes. That was me.’ That is self-awareness. Self-belief. Recognition. Have faith in your actions, your (mis)deeds, your subconscious striving for actualisation. The striving keeps us alive and faith in yourself is never wasted. You must take accountability for your thoughts, too. I would like to point out that it does help – both yourself and others – if you would add to your statement of fact, ‘… and my reasons for doing said such and such, were …’. Give reasons willingly. They help with clarity. I have learned that in most instances it is a waste of time to hide your justifications. We all have that painful desire to justify our existence. It’s there. It is a part of wanting to be understood. We would all like to feel understood, it’s a deep-seated need. How many people have you trusted with your insides? We cannot know someone or understand them until they have shown us their insides. That is how it is.
Remember that taking accountability is not taking responsibility. Responsibility is a whole different kettle of fish. It depends on your need to play the martyr – and we all have that tendency at times – as to how much responsibility you will take on that is not yours to carry. Only carry what is yours. You must understand that you are not responsible for another’s reality. You are not responsible for the illusion they are living. You are not responsible for their existence. Until you can consciously penetrate another’s thoughts you are not in any way responsible for their thinking, either. Know that. A person’s choices are their’s alone and for those choices they will pay penalties or reap rewards when the time comes. And the time is coming. Soon we will find ourselves blending with the futures we have selected for ourselves. It will be interesting to see who is happy with their lot and who is not. Should you not be happy with how your future is going to look – given that its reality is based on your projections at present – then you had better start shifting your mindset. That starts with realising who you are at this moment and being proud of the person you have become. Know that personal pride is not a waste of time. You did not get to where you are by accident. Please remember that you are always becoming. That is evolution. That is going forwards, meeting your real self (time and again) – and reaching your full potential. Reaching your full potential is what you are here to do. So do it.
C.J. Birch
C.J. Birch 