Tag Archives: unconditional

Blog No. 32 – Your happiness

happynaked

You learn very young what makes you happy, and what does not.  That distinction lays the groundwork for the kind of human being each child is going to turn out to be.  It is important that children learn to assert themselves whenever they find themselves in a situation that makes them uncomfortable.  That discomfort could be the pain visited upon those who are close to them, it could be an older person trying to teach them something other than the truth.  Children are intuitive.  All of them.  They understand the truth.

Your happiness should be a thing that you nurture.  It is precious.  It is also important – once you have discovered what makes you feel happy – that you understand whether your kind of happy is a healthy happy or not.  There are many unhealthy happies out there and they can be destructive, but they each have their reason for being.  When we can see their cause(s) then we can decide whether or not we wish to keep them, whether or not they are necessary to carry as baggage.  Sometimes the unhealthy happies are simply happy happies trying to explain an inexplicable pain.  For some things there are no words.

When you love truly, unconditionally, the happiness of the other is as important as your own.  When you understand that happiness feeds off itself, then you will understand that putting the other’s happiness ahead of your own is not only the supreme act of self-sacrifice, it is the natural thing to do when you find yourself at cross-purposes.  It’s like finally getting for yourself something you have dreamed of your entire life and then giving it away for no good reason.  Who on this planet would do that?

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Love is something beautifully human – Blog No. 23

Lovepizza

The dinosaurs did not fall in Love.  Neither did the dodo or the coelacanth.  Love is something that has become, with us.  It has evolved alongside humankind.  Physical attraction, chemistry – in all species – has always led to sex, the propagation of life.  This natural process is responsible, too, for the development of our ancestors, ourselves.  It has ensured our gradual improvement.  When Love turned up initially, things were different.  Love was for everyone, and there was enough.  It was not something one had that another need ever covet.  When Love became associated with ownership – i.e. possessed – and certain people were deemed unworthy of its touch – i.e. the untouchables – the real meaning behind Love’s message was lost.  Using hindsight, it would appear that it simply went elsewhere to validate its claim that it was not for sale, that its purpose was pre-ordained and its essence incorruptible.  In what became known as a time-warp, instead of buying into its demise, it left its shadow to fend off Love’s nemesis and went to fetch the testimony of its true representatives.

That Love has some extremes should come as no surprise.  It has spent centuries being stretched in virtually every direction.  It is even frequented, these days, by the likes of paedophiles, psychopaths and otherwise marginalised madmen.  Each has their story and each of those stories has cause.  When humans routinely call torture or protracted brutality ‘acts of Love’, though, it becomes time to review humans differently.  It is not time to redefine Love.  Love is not responsible for the indescribable cruelty some try to justify by using the line:  it’s only because I love you.  Humans are responsible for hiding violence behind that kind of lie.  If Love is the motivation behind an action then cruelty will not be a tactic used by anyone for any reason.  Ever.

Where Love discovers that it has been misunderstood or misrepresented it will take time to explain.  Like for every single contrived crime scene it will have an alibi.  That goes without saying.  The length of its explanation will depend on the degree of your misunderstanding and/or the level of misrepresentation.  Every alibi will be able to explain itself.  What Love will not do, however, is waste anyone’s time by rehabilitating idiots.  Idiots are best left to their own devices and Love is best when it lets idiots go.

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