You learn very young what makes you happy, and what does not. That distinction lays the groundwork for the kind of human being each child is going to turn out to be. It is important that children learn to assert themselves whenever they find themselves in a situation that makes them uncomfortable. That discomfort could be the pain visited upon those who are close to them, it could be an older person trying to teach them something other than the truth. Children are intuitive. All of them. They understand the truth.
Your happiness should be a thing that you nurture. It is precious. It is also important – once you have discovered what makes you feel happy – that you understand whether your kind of happy is a healthy happy or not. There are many unhealthy happies out there and they can be destructive, but they each have their reason for being. When we can see their cause(s) then we can decide whether or not we wish to keep them, whether or not they are necessary to carry as baggage. Sometimes the unhealthy happies are simply happy happies trying to explain an inexplicable pain. For some things there are no words.
When you love truly, unconditionally, the happiness of the other is as important as your own. When you understand that happiness feeds off itself, then you will understand that putting the other’s happiness ahead of your own is not only the supreme act of self-sacrifice, it is the natural thing to do when you find yourself at cross-purposes. It’s like finally getting for yourself something you have dreamed of your entire life and then giving it away for no good reason. Who on this planet would do that?
What counts as a phenomenon? Should we count ourselves as phenomena? There is the phenomenal in humankind. It is – like many other things – just a matter of finding it. How hard you look depends on what you wish to find. When seeking phenomena, ask yourself what you are hoping to demonstrate through your discovery. That way – looking at the message you are intending to send – you will be sure to succeed in your search.
Allow phenomenal to happen to you. It is a matter of giving permission. Once granted, that particular permission cannot be revoked. You open a lock, as such, and set yourself upon a path that is guaranteed to bring you out into the sunshine. That is where you want to be, it does not matter when you get there. If you would prefer to find yourself brought out into a blizzard, then that is your indaba.
Think of phenomenal as a methodology. What to aspire to. There is a lot to be said for aspirations. There is a lot to be said for the courage to chase them. A cynic will say there is no point in chasing anything. A coward will say there is no way to chase. A defeatist will say there is no chance of succeeding, no matter what you do.
There is a point. There is a way. There is a chance. Take it.
I wish on eyelashes. I believe in the greater good. I trust karma to send our lessons. I think karma gives an excellent explanation of being. If you understand exactly what karma is, what it means. What you do in your now will affect your past. Therefore, it will affect your future. If the past changes, the future changes. You can bend your destiny. Karma is searching, like everything else. She searches for equilibrium. Trust that. Trust that you have a future past that is coming at you and trust that you can change it by modifying your present tense.
We are free to take whatever is given. Take lessons, and learn. That is our purpose.