Please understand that without closure you cannot move forwards. Closure is the first step towards repair. If you do not care to repair the damages done to you then I guess yours is a pretty pointless existence. It is vital to recognise damages done, and it is vital to assimilate those damages so that you can get yourself into a position where you can work your future without the drag of your past. You are not in the past, stop living there. You are in the now. Your future is waiting patiently for you to wake up and claim it.
Should you be struggling to find closure after the death of a loved one, remember that their death has opened doors for you. A death always does. I would suggest viewing the body of the departed, if such is possible, before you say your farewells. Seeing the lifeless corpse is not something to be afraid of. It can do nothing to you. It is dead. The death is easier to accept when you are faced with its reality. Should you be unable to find closure after the death of a love relationship, remember that its demise came for a reason. You cannot hold on to a dead love. Funny, you cannot hold on to a live love, either. Love will not be held down. It has its prescribed work to do and it is not sentimental about your inability as humans to treasure its actuality. It is alive, and it moves. Head to head, heart to heart. You fail to appreciate its gift to this world and it leaves. There is nothing static about Love. Nothing.
Teach children about closure. Encourage them to speak about their feelings. Be interested in what they find hurtful, stressful. Listen to a child’s heartbreak, should such happen to your child and it is able to explain it to you. To find closure you need to do personal work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to be brave enough to distress yourself with memories, feelings, disappointments. Really. It is time to be realistic about the state of your internal affairs. 2014 is for progress. Tidy up.
C.J. Birch
C.J. Birch 