Tag Archives: closure

Closure – Blog No. 1

VWNoUSPlease understand that without closure you cannot move forwards.  Closure is the first step towards repair.  If you do not care to repair the damages done to you then I guess yours is a pretty pointless existence.  It is vital to recognise damages done, and it is vital to assimilate those damages so that you can get yourself into a position where you can work your future without the drag of your past.  You are not in the past, stop living there.  You are in the now.  Your future is waiting patiently for you to wake up and claim it.

Should you be struggling to find closure after the death of a loved one, remember that their death has opened doors for you.  A death always does.  I would suggest viewing the body of the departed, if such is possible, before you say your farewells.  Seeing the lifeless corpse is not something to be afraid of.  It can do nothing to you.  It is dead.  The death is easier to accept when you are faced with its reality.  Should you be unable to find closure after the death of a love relationship, remember that its demise came for a reason.  You cannot hold on to a dead love.  Funny, you cannot hold on to a live love, either.  Love will not be held down.  It has its prescribed work to do and it is not sentimental about your inability as humans to treasure its actuality.  It is alive, and it moves.  Head to head, heart to heart.  You fail to appreciate its gift to this world and it leaves.  There is nothing static about Love.  Nothing.

Teach children about closure.  Encourage them to speak about their feelings.  Be interested in what they find hurtful, stressful.  Listen to a child’s heartbreak, should such happen to your child and it is able to explain it to you.  To find closure you need to do personal work.  It doesn’t just happen.  You have to be brave enough to distress yourself with memories, feelings, disappointments.  Really.  It is time to be realistic about the state of your internal affairs.  2014 is for progress.  Tidy up.

 

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Transition – Blog No. 94

TransitionLogoSmllTransition is an interesting phase.  It is closure on one level, and the opening up of a brand new vista on another.  Transitions in life – and you will have a few – may cause you to lose the reference points with which you have become familiar.  You will need to establish new reference points and you will need to be pragmatic about the process of saying goodbye to the old ones.  Reference points only serve you for the duration of their lifespan, there is no need to be sentimental about starting afresh.

Transition is about changing.  Again – respect that change is life.  That is the one reality you cannot escape.  The more precious we are about holding on to our personal ‘history’, the more difficult it is to embrace change.  Be selective about what you are precious about.  Transitions do not come without warning, but they do happen without your permission.  They come at exactly the right time.  It is wise to accept their arrival.

Transition is about growing, too.  This can be a seamless process, you can expand your capacity without it being painful.  Often, it is painful.  You are pushing yourself to capacity, and beyond – which hurts.  There is always the beyond.  There is always something extra where you expect to be empty.  You just have to find the courage to go there.  You become what you are meant to be through transition.  Each transition, a success.  No matter how you respond to the transition that is sent to change you, change you will.  So that is success.

Death is one of life’s transitions.  Viva la vista.

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