I am not quite sure this planet realises how problematic it is that children are not treated right in too many parts of the world. Probably in every part of the world. I cannot understand the need people have to breed and then abuse their children. Why would you procreate when you cannot handle having a child? And motherhood – and fatherhood – is about handling your progeny, not annihilating them. That – to me – is possibly the most stupid of all human behaviours. Breeding willy-nilly without thought of consequence, just having babies because you cannot be bothered not to. It’s obscene.
Children are vulnerable and very impressionable. All of them. How many times does that have to be said before people take heed? What you show your child of life is how it will grow. The reality is startling in its simplicity. You kick your child around, or abuse it verbally and emotionally, and you are building a damaged human being. There is not much space left on this planet for damaged people. There are already way too many. It is time that the damaging was brought under control. It is ruining people, society. I am not sure what would happen if every abuser took accountability for his/her behaviour – recognised it, themselves. If they opened their eyes they would realise the fate that was awaiting them.
Having children is not ‘what you do’ in life. Times have changed. How hard can it be to understand that parenting is not an essential part of living? How hard can it be to understand that there are a great many lives that would be far less stressful without children in them? That is fact, it is not something to feel sentimental about. Children are a joy on many levels, and that is what they are supposed to be. They are not punch-bags. They are not adults. They are not to be underestimated, either.
Please understand that without closure you cannot move forwards. Closure is the first step towards repair. If you do not care to repair the damages done to you then I guess yours is a pretty pointless existence. It is vital to recognise damages done, and it is vital to assimilate those damages so that you can get yourself into a position where you can work your future without the drag of your past. You are not in the past, stop living there. You are in the now. Your future is waiting patiently for you to wake up and claim it.
Should you be struggling to find closure after the death of a loved one, remember that their death has opened doors for you. A death always does. I would suggest viewing the body of the departed, if such is possible, before you say your farewells. Seeing the lifeless corpse is not something to be afraid of. It can do nothing to you. It is dead. The death is easier to accept when you are faced with its reality. Should you be unable to find closure after the death of a love relationship, remember that its demise came for a reason. You cannot hold on to a dead love. Funny, you cannot hold on to a live love, either. Love will not be held down. It has its prescribed work to do and it is not sentimental about your inability as humans to treasure its actuality. It is alive, and it moves. Head to head, heart to heart. You fail to appreciate its gift to this world and it leaves. There is nothing static about Love. Nothing.
Teach children about closure. Encourage them to speak about their feelings. Be interested in what they find hurtful, stressful. Listen to a child’s heartbreak, should such happen to your child and it is able to explain it to you. To find closure you need to do personal work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to be brave enough to distress yourself with memories, feelings, disappointments. Really. It is time to be realistic about the state of your internal affairs. 2014 is for progress. Tidy up.