Please understand that without closure you cannot move forwards. Closure is the first step towards repair. If you do not care to repair the damages done to you then I guess yours is a pretty pointless existence. It is vital to recognise damages done, and it is vital to assimilate those damages so that you can get yourself into a position where you can work your future without the drag of your past. You are not in the past, stop living there. You are in the now. Your future is waiting patiently for you to wake up and claim it.
Should you be struggling to find closure after the death of a loved one, remember that their death has opened doors for you. A death always does. I would suggest viewing the body of the departed, if such is possible, before you say your farewells. Seeing the lifeless corpse is not something to be afraid of. It can do nothing to you. It is dead. The death is easier to accept when you are faced with its reality. Should you be unable to find closure after the death of a love relationship, remember that its demise came for a reason. You cannot hold on to a dead love. Funny, you cannot hold on to a live love, either. Love will not be held down. It has its prescribed work to do and it is not sentimental about your inability as humans to treasure its actuality. It is alive, and it moves. Head to head, heart to heart. You fail to appreciate its gift to this world and it leaves. There is nothing static about Love. Nothing.
Teach children about closure. Encourage them to speak about their feelings. Be interested in what they find hurtful, stressful. Listen to a child’s heartbreak, should such happen to your child and it is able to explain it to you. To find closure you need to do personal work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to be brave enough to distress yourself with memories, feelings, disappointments. Really. It is time to be realistic about the state of your internal affairs. 2014 is for progress. Tidy up.
If you have no support of any sort from any person other than yourself, yours is a very challenging existence. To have the support of another human being, group of human beings, validates your life experience. It is good to know that somebody cares. Know that when you are in need of support, it is best to ask for it. This is not easy for many people – there are a lot of us who find it difficult to ask for help. Occasionally you will come across a person who offers you support without expecting anything in return. This is a precious gift. Receive it with grace if it should come to you.
If you are not feeling particularly useful at the moment, try being supportive to someone. It will make a difference in their life. Instead of standing and watching a person struggling, step in and take their hand. Lift them with a kind word, an observation. Sometimes people just need to know that someone can see their strife. Burdens shared – and face it, we all have burdens to carry – are loads lightened. Be aware of how much support you are prepared to offer. Do not get caught in the trap of becoming someone’s crutch. Taking someone else’s life-load on is not advisable. Not only is it cruel – it takes away the liver’s ability to make decisions that will change their fate – it is counter-productive to your own progress. You do not get anywhere on your life path by trying to bend straight another’s days.
Know that Nature supports you. She supports your every move. She listens, she hears. You should speak aloud your heart’s desires. They are not only for thinking about. They are for realising. Your human nature makes it possible for you to reach and live your dreams. You just have to need them enough. There are many wasted dreams lying in piles of want. Want does not always get. Need doesn’t either, but need drives you harder than want does and this makes success more likely. Make sure you know what you need in your life. Do not accept that your needs are less important than another’s needs. Your wants, yes. They are perhaps less important than the wants of others. Needs need to be met. Make their acquaintance. Take their demands seriously. Show support for their cause.