Tag Archives: role-model

Peace (and quiet) – Blog No. 76

quote-never-for-the-sake-of-peace-and-quiet-deny-your-own-experience-or-convictions-dag-hammarskjold-78635Would you expect peace in Utopia?  Would you assume it to be a wholly peaceful place?  I think it is better never to assume anything, no matter how well you may have convinced yourself that you know what is best in a particular situation.  There is always someone who knows better than you do.  I have learnt that lesson in life and I trust its consistency.  The trick is to find that person.  Does Utopia – or Elysium, Heaven, a harem of 1000 virgins, Paradise, etc – exist for you?  Even just in your dreams?  Does it mean to you perfect, or does it mean ideal?  You need to define these things for yourself before you can set about finding yours.  That yours is the same as mine – or the next person’s – is a possibility, but this is doubtful in a world this self sufficient.  We each have a private ideal, a personal state of perfection that we (ought) to be striving towards.  It depends on how you view perfection as to how your Utopian odyssey will unfold.  Your journey is ongoing, you will find yourself there, in time.  It just takes time.

The way to peace is to educate.  Ask Malala Yousafzai, support her cause with $10 a month if you do not yet do anything for your world.  What is $10 worth in your world?  Encourage your children to support a worthy cause – let them learn the value of compassion.  Teach them that it is important to give something back when you have more than others do and teach them this through your example.  It is more and more apparent in these everydays that our children are very capable of understanding the meaning behind an action, a behaviour – i.e. a motivation.  Do not take from them this facility.  Nourish it, them.  Let them learn empathy, through affection.  It will get them far in life.

In pursuit of peace (and quiet) it is your responsibility as an adult to demonstrate your true nature in front of children.  They see straight through an act and besides, they learn assertion.  Let them read your truth because this is how you show a child respect for their time.  Their assessment.  Letting them know your weaknesses as well as your strengths is not a failure, it is a clued-up move.  Apologise when you shout, curse.  Explain if you cry.  If you curse under your breath, that counts.  Saying sorry says hey – it is human to make mistakes.  Life is dramatic – there is no getting away from that reality.  If you think it is not then you need to open your eyes and notice for once (in a very long while) its colour.  Colour brings pain, mind you.  Moderate that pain.  It is vital for children to realise through your demonstration the real of this world we live in.  It is an exercise in strengthening, stretching their emotional intelligence.  Please recognise a child’s emotional intelligence when you spot it.  The more equipped children are to handle themselves (in any situation that presents itself), the more stable their end life-view is going to be.  Children do not think in infinities.  They need an end view that is stable – whatever that stability entails.  Theirs’ can be surprisingly flexible, their stability – it depends what keeps them happy.  Children have extraordinary capacity and they will instinctively stretch themselves.  Let them.  What is necessary to know is that it is essential that a child develops a life-view that perpetually fires up new synapses with excitement.  Children should laugh a lot and they should be shown a great deal in their lives, as well as a good example.  If you cannot show them a good example – you will need to trust that your child will role-model on the dominant adult in the vicinity who sets best that example.  An example.  If you cannot trust that your child will know right from wrong, then you have a problem.

And if you do not know who Malala Yousafzai is, perhaps you should.  She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize one day.

 

 

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Disillusionment – Blog No. 58

old_people_illusionDisillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window.  Toss it out.  What is the point of being disillusioned?  Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life.  No one wants to be a victim of life.  Life plays hard with everybody, alike.  Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not.  You are not here to count your woes, in any case.  You are here to count your blessings.  Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me.  Let them.  In fact – let your woes, go.  Who says you cannot?  Where they go is not your business.  Good riddance.  Why can you not just cut them loose?  Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone.  What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes?  We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes.  We must  watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real.  Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.

If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it.  Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to.  Let them have imaginary friends.  It does not mean they are psychotic.  Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child.  It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow.  As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality.  As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does.  You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too.  How you choose to do that is up to you.  If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build.  If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent.  Negligent parents are not what this world needs.

Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless.  How can you be disillusioned  when you have chosen your own path?  When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons.  Nothing is as it was before.  What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with.  You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold.  It is an occupational hazard.  Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength.  The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can.  You can manage your illusion with some precision.  Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable.  If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path.  Get off it.  Look around.  Go where no one has gone before.  Go to the unknown.  It is a place in you.  It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place.  Get busy interpreting and living your dreams  – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself.  If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.

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