02 Nov 2015 · 11:04
Some realisations hit hard, like being knifed in the heart. Others flood your being with relief. It is the latter in which we – as a sentient people – find refuge. That refuge for a time provides respite, it strengthens us against the next onslaught of negativity. Negativity is bound to come and go, it is persistent in its attempts to contaminate the everyday. Let it come. Watch it go. That is how to build up your resistance. Practice does not necessarily guarantee perfection, but it gets you a lot closer to it than sitting wishing for expertise to strike you like lightning.
You will have realisations that cause you pain in this life. I suppose that is the sad reality. The happy reality is that one day you will come to realise that the pain was not a waste of time. Nothing ever is, if you do it properly. Your happy realisations will depend on who it is that you are. What makes us wholly happy as individuals is quite specific. What makes us sad is usually group therapy. As it happens.
Realisations, both good and bad, are vital for the growth of our understanding – they are never to be used for overstanding. When you learn something new, or you are shown a different way to do or improve something, you share that knowledge with those you know who will benefit from it. You do not waste time sharing it with those who do not need to know because for them there is no benefit in repetition. In fact, there is no point telling those people anything even once, but do it anyway. Their deafness is not your problem, but it will save you sleepless nights in your future past.
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21 Oct 2013 · 16:08
What are the components of a perfect love relationship? You both get what you need. You do not judge one another for being who you are – which means you do not piss each other off, or disappoint each other. You want the best for your other half – which means you want them to be happy, whatever that takes. If you are not interested in a perfect relationship then why are you in one? Of course these components are ideals. Subscribe to them. We live in an idealistic society. In case you did not yet notice there are a lot of people in this world who expect perfection and so they should. Nature is perfect. Perfect in her execution, her delivery. If you need an example, follow hers.
If you are not in a relationship with someone you love you are not developing as a human being. You cannot develop your connections, your social skills on your own. Your relationships – all of them – mould your person. Be brave in relationships, you will learn a lot. If you do not have or care about having social skills, then that is another matter altogether. Relationships are usually challenging – it is not often you find a perfect love relationship. Know they do exist. If you wish to have one you must expect to search for it. You do not just happen upon perfection. You need to want it, and you have to know how you are going to get it.
You should get to make choices in your relationships. In this day and age you should not be forced to be with someone because another person says you must. That is ridiculous. Arranged situations are no longer necessary, they went out with the ark. Know that if you believe in match-making because you will somehow gain from the association, you must change your thinking. That kind of strategic breeding has had its day. It is no longer the best way forwards. You need to let go of your old ideas. You may not dictate who another might – or might not – love. That never works. Love decides who is best for who. Not you.
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Tagged as arranged marriage, brave, choice, choices, connections, development, freedom, gay rights, human being, Love, match-making, Nature, perfect, perfection, personal gain, relationships, social skills
14 Oct 2013 · 12:05
Would you expect peace in Utopia? Would you assume it to be a wholly peaceful place? I think it is better never to assume anything, no matter how well you may have convinced yourself that you know what is best in a particular situation. There is always someone who knows better than you do. I have learnt that lesson in life and I trust its consistency. The trick is to find that person. Does Utopia – or Elysium, Heaven, a harem of 1000 virgins, Paradise, etc – exist for you? Even just in your dreams? Does it mean to you perfect, or does it mean ideal? You need to define these things for yourself before you can set about finding yours. That yours is the same as mine – or the next person’s – is a possibility, but this is doubtful in a world this self sufficient. We each have a private ideal, a personal state of perfection that we (ought) to be striving towards. It depends on how you view perfection as to how your Utopian odyssey will unfold. Your journey is ongoing, you will find yourself there, in time. It just takes time.
The way to peace is to educate. Ask Malala Yousafzai, support her cause with $10 a month if you do not yet do anything for your world. What is $10 worth in your world? Encourage your children to support a worthy cause – let them learn the value of compassion. Teach them that it is important to give something back when you have more than others do and teach them this through your example. It is more and more apparent in these everydays that our children are very capable of understanding the meaning behind an action, a behaviour – i.e. a motivation. Do not take from them this facility. Nourish it, them. Let them learn empathy, through affection. It will get them far in life.
In pursuit of peace (and quiet) it is your responsibility as an adult to demonstrate your true nature in front of children. They see straight through an act and besides, they learn assertion. Let them read your truth because this is how you show a child respect for their time. Their assessment. Letting them know your weaknesses as well as your strengths is not a failure, it is a clued-up move. Apologise when you shout, curse. Explain if you cry. If you curse under your breath, that counts. Saying sorry says hey – it is human to make mistakes. Life is dramatic – there is no getting away from that reality. If you think it is not then you need to open your eyes and notice for once (in a very long while) its colour. Colour brings pain, mind you. Moderate that pain. It is vital for children to realise through your demonstration the real of this world we live in. It is an exercise in strengthening, stretching their emotional intelligence. Please recognise a child’s emotional intelligence when you spot it. The more equipped children are to handle themselves (in any situation that presents itself), the more stable their end life-view is going to be. Children do not think in infinities. They need an end view that is stable – whatever that stability entails. Theirs’ can be surprisingly flexible, their stability – it depends what keeps them happy. Children have extraordinary capacity and they will instinctively stretch themselves. Let them. What is necessary to know is that it is essential that a child develops a life-view that perpetually fires up new synapses with excitement. Children should laugh a lot and they should be shown a great deal in their lives, as well as a good example. If you cannot show them a good example – you will need to trust that your child will role-model on the dominant adult in the vicinity who sets best that example. An example. If you cannot trust that your child will know right from wrong, then you have a problem.
And if you do not know who Malala Yousafzai is, perhaps you should. She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize one day.
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