There are days here and there when I wonder what fantasy actually is. Apart from being a state of mind, it is clearly an ideal place to be at some stage in your daily thinking. Fantasy can be anything from reality right through to illusion – and everything in between. Fiction is not fantasy. Fantasy is very real. It takes an extraordinary level of concentration to maintain the purity of thought required for the creation – or the construction, if you like – of a flawless fantasy. It takes some practice, too.
Fantasy requires minds to find a steady stream of consciousness through which their ideal can be projected. To find the ideal you need to be a positive thinker. To find a steady stream is essential. Fantasies do not travel well under bumpy conditions. They are delicate in nature. Nature does not have fantasies about killing, or causing suffering to living things. There will be fantasies found about eating, feeding frenzies. About sex. That is perfectly natural. Nature takes time to build a fantasy with the reality; she does not waste time dreaming about pain.
Fantasies are for the bravehearts. For those that dare to think big. Small fantasies are not necessarily smaller than any bigger ones you may have along your way. It depends how deep small goes. How shallow your perception. When you understand the motivation behind a fanciful way of choosing to live, you will understand how absolutely essential the propagation of fantasy is as a very real – and viable – reality.
Do we all have the same psychology when it comes to seeking protection? Is the drive of an asylum-seeker the same as the tendency a child has to hide behind its parents’ legs? Are women entering into marriages sold in catalogues because the prospect of a new life – a better life with a man that’s buying – outweighs the thought of having to sell yourself to get there? Perhaps the illusion of safety is what causes many women to marry men they really should not be marrying. Men, after all, are the protectors. They have always been the protectors. Some men are cut out for this kind of work. Others are not. Choose wisely what you need in a partner – both men and women should choose carefully – and remember that you do not need to marry the first person you become involved with or become familiar with. You cannot even begin to appreciate a person until you have learned who it is that they are. That learning does not take three minutes.
You cannot find a mould that men ‘ought’ to fit in this day and age, their role is varied. There are providers and protectors, there are hands-on dads and house-husbands. There are workaholics and sugar-daddies. There are a lot of men dealing with women who have daddy issues. Perhaps the women with daddy issues were deprived of that ‘protected’ feeling as children. Perhaps theirs’ were absent fathers. Shy fathers. Scared fathers. Aggressive fathers. The balance in society is out. There are too many females seeking protection in a world whose hard currency is women. If ever there was a catch 22, that is it. That means women need to become stronger still, work smarter. This world is in flux and those who do not change with it stand to lose their futures.
Women are entitled to protect themselves from every kind of abuse. How they do that is their enterprise. Men are as entitled as women are, to protect themselves. It is vital to know that you cannot make vulnerable a person who stands for themselves. Standing for yourself is like suiting up in armour. It is an act of courage. A wise idea. When you get to a place where you expect ultimate protection from none other than yourself and the tools made available to you, you are stronger than any abuser, any violator’s tactics. Do not allow yourself to be belittled, no matter who you are. Protect yourself from others’ bitterness and protect yourself from becoming a mere number here on Earth. There is more to life than being a number.
Disillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window. Toss it out. What is the point of being disillusioned? Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life. No one wants to be a victim of life. Life plays hard with everybody, alike. Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not. You are not here to count your woes, in any case. You are here to count your blessings. Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me. Let them. In fact – let your woes, go. Who says you cannot? Where they go is not your business. Good riddance. Why can you not just cut them loose? Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone. What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes? We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes. We must watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real. Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.
If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it. Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to. Let them have imaginary friends. It does not mean they are psychotic. Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child. It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow. As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality. As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does. You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too. How you choose to do that is up to you. If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build. If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent. Negligent parents are not what this world needs.
Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless. How can you be disillusioned when you have chosen your own path? When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons. Nothing is as it was before. What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with. You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold. It is an occupational hazard. Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength. The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can. You can manage your illusion with some precision. Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable. If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path. Get off it. Look around. Go where no one has gone before. Go to the unknown. It is a place in you. It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place. Get busy interpreting and living your dreams – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself. If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.
Reality TV is voyeurism. You are granted the opportunity to watch the intimate goings on of a group of people, persons. Why do we have a fascination with others’ lives? Is it because we need to compare ourselves to someone else in order to gain some perspective on our own world situation, or is it because we feel entitled to have an opinion about how other people run their days? How others run their days is not our business unless their actions clash with our own strategy. If there is a clash of interests, you will find yourself standing your ground and fighting your corner. It is just the way we work when we believe strongly in something. If there is a conflict of interests, you may find yourself giving ground – either ideological or actual – in order to keep the peace. It depends on what kind of person you are. Do you know who you are? Do you know whether you are a pacifist, a fascist, a humanitarian or a non-entity? If you are a non-entity in your own life, that is a problem.
Watching others is interesting. As a sentient human being you cannot remain unaffected by the sight of someone who is emotionally overwrought. Whether it is grief, or pain – or victory – it will tell upon your nerves the same. You will respond to what you see. If you do not respond, you are probably psychotic. If you are programmed to feel nothing for other people then you need to re-programme yourself. Notice what is happening in the lives around you. You are a part of many realities, you share common ground with many different people. Realise that we are all fighting battles, facing demons, finding angels. We are all at the mercy of our feelings. Emotions are meant to be controlled, not ignored. If you have no interest in other people and their emotions then you are not going to be able to help make this world a better place. There are too many hurt people milling around, there is still too much disillusionment. That is the problem with living an illusion in the first place. However. We all become disillusioned at one time or another in our lives. There are always going to be those things that do not measure up to our expectations. If you tell me you have no expectations (so that you never face disappointment) I will tell you that you are doing your future a disservice. It is not advisable to do your own future a disservice. You need to have expectations. You are entitled to have expectations. That is what keeps this world going around.
I think we should all expect a peaceful world. That is the least we can do for ourselves. I think freedom should be a right. It is clear that you can find freedom, no matter what your constraints, but this is not something you can learn in one day. You need to spend your life making yourself truly free. That is the goal of every beginning. Each time you return, you free yourself from further chains. Our existence is not a punishment, I am so tired of people believing that. Religion put that idiotic idea into man’s head. Religion has a lot to answer for. Of all institutions it is the least-equipped to explain itself to this planet and I question the value of any set of rules that does not care to justify itself in today’s terms. Religion is control. That is all it is. It keeps people in line – which is no bad thing – but it divides. Like borders divide. If none of the religions can even agree about what God actually is, then how must we follow their say-so? They do not know who – or what – they are talking about.
Children must be taught so that they learn to understand love. This is possibly the single most important task of every adult on this planet. Love is an art worth studying, and sharing. It is worth finding and having in your life. It does not come without compromise and it has numerous side-effects. Should there be any doubt, know that the side-effects are worth it. Love is extraordinarily powerful. It cannot be consumed. It is ever-present and ongoing. It is like a phoenix, rising each time from the ashes. We can love over and over. We can love everybody in our lives differently. I do not believe that we love the same each time. Our love is shaped by the individual we find ourselves connected with. It is moulded by the children to whom we give life and learning. The love generated in the 1960’s and 1970’s is still circumnavigating this globe, its waves are still felt in our hemispheres. That kind of resonance never dies. We all have a lot to thank free love for. There was a lot of oxytocin-induced euphoria happening. Perhaps the permissiveness of that time did not do society’s moral code any good, and that permissiveness bred a contempt – or lack of respect – for one another that it was not possible at the time to express, but that period is punctuated by a big love and for a while that feeling made a real difference in the world. I believe it changed the arc of man’s path, there were that many believers. When you have a large sector of the population feeling optimistic and in love with life, life thrives.
Then people became disillusioned, and people are still disillusioned. That in itself could open an interesting line of enquiry – whether or not it is advisable in the here and now to realise that everything is an illusion? Perhaps it is wise to accept that we live our illusions. Must we consider that we became disillusioned because our leaders made too many empty promises, too often? When mouths and minds speak of nothing then we eventually hear nothing. That is the way with ears, tongues. Perhaps we are disillusioned because the scaffolding of this world is taking major strain where its religions are concerned. We feel like we are living a giant lie since no one – no two parties can agree – what God even is. If it can be said that we all base our lives on our belief systems then it can be said that what we believe is very relevant. Each of us. If we can find common ground with our vision for the future then we can make positive changes happen and relieve some of the strain on the infrastructure, which is ultimately source. Raw energy. Most of us take our source for granted and we fail to appreciate that although it does not have a beginning or an end it has limits. We must respect these limits. We must put back into the system what is given, always. It is time. We must all bend our heads towards mending the planet, the force of collective thought can change this world’s destiny.