Tag Archives: victim

The Brokenhearted – Blog No. 72

broken-heart-syndromeTrust that it is necessary to have your heart broken at least once in this life.  It need not be a relationship breakdown that brings it on, it could be your cat getting squashed by a car.  A death in the family.  It could be that you feel brokenhearted because the world is in the state it is.  It depends how deep your feelings go.  When your heart is broken, you are forced into a confrontation with yourself.  You are wounded and you are not happy.  The conversations you will have with yourself will be filled with self-pity and usually you respond to the call of victim for a time.  Be sure that it is only for a time.

The broken heart heals if you allow it to.  When it is permitted to thrash around in agony it works its pain out the way it knows how.  Let it.  This is the best way.  Your emotions will take the hit, but that can be managed.  A broken heart hurts.  It is a physical ache, a mental torture.  A spiritual strengthening.  A broken heart does not forget how to love.  Ever.  It just struggles to adjust to the idea that its sharing is going to have to be with somebody new.  It is hard to let go of the old to make space for the new.  In fact that is one of this life’s biggest challenges.  Falling out of love with someone is not the end of the world.  Recognising the truth of the matter, is.  A love lost breaks a heart, every time.  A broken heart comes with sadness.  Sadness is heavy and it decimates your being, but it has to be felt and it has to be worked through.  You cannot ignore it.  Remember that sadness will stay with you as long as it can.  It is up to you to decide when the time is over for its punishment.

The healed heart will carry scars.  This is not serious.  Each scar, a love.  How can that be bad news?  Celebrate the loves you have had in your life.  You will know which have been loves and which have not.  Try not to hate people you once loved.  That is not productive.  It is your responsibility to remind yourself why you loved them once upon a time.  That reason – those reasons – must be enough to prevent you from regretting your choices.  If you cannot bring yourself to a place where you can at least appreciate the learning you have received through loving and losing love, you have a lot of work to do.  Each love in your life has been sent to you for a reason.  You are a reason in someone else’s life.  Assess yourself.  Your relationships.  Are you getting what you need?  Are you learning?  If you are not, you must ask yourself what you are doing.

 

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Disillusionment – Blog No. 58

old_people_illusionDisillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window.  Toss it out.  What is the point of being disillusioned?  Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life.  No one wants to be a victim of life.  Life plays hard with everybody, alike.  Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not.  You are not here to count your woes, in any case.  You are here to count your blessings.  Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me.  Let them.  In fact – let your woes, go.  Who says you cannot?  Where they go is not your business.  Good riddance.  Why can you not just cut them loose?  Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone.  What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes?  We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes.  We must  watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real.  Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.

If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it.  Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to.  Let them have imaginary friends.  It does not mean they are psychotic.  Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child.  It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow.  As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality.  As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does.  You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too.  How you choose to do that is up to you.  If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build.  If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent.  Negligent parents are not what this world needs.

Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless.  How can you be disillusioned  when you have chosen your own path?  When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons.  Nothing is as it was before.  What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with.  You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold.  It is an occupational hazard.  Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength.  The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can.  You can manage your illusion with some precision.  Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable.  If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path.  Get off it.  Look around.  Go where no one has gone before.  Go to the unknown.  It is a place in you.  It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place.  Get busy interpreting and living your dreams  – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself.  If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.

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