Tag Archives: behaviours

Jealousy – Blog No. 10

JealousyJealousy is a pest.  However, it should never be ignored.  It should be dealt with each and every time it stings your life.  Jealousy’s root is Love, which is extremely positive.  Love with a capital L because when you understand the very powerful force that Love is, as opposed to the distant whisper of ‘a’ love with a little l, you will understand that the capital is as deserved as that of Nature’s capital N.  Your human nature is small, the force of Nature is omnipresent, and omnipotent.

If you can realise that jealousy is in fact Love upside-down then you will be able to accept it, because you will know that it comes from pure motivation, despite its effects on a person being negative.  Pure motivation can be trusted, so trust your feelings, but do not allow them to dominate your behaviours.  This is in your power.  You have to control a jealous surge if it rises inside you – bring your mind to heel.  The jealousy is just your mind playing games with your insecurities.

Jealousy is not the same as envy.  Be sure you know the difference.  Jealousy is not possessiveness, either, although the two are often entwined.  Please know that you cannot possess another person.  That will kill their spirit.  If it can be accepted that nothing is ‘yours’ to hold on to in this life, then jealousy becomes unnecessary.  You realise that you cannot allow your mind to dominate you with its hints, suggestions, and you move on from feelings of jealousy with a determination.  You hold mind firmly in its place – it knows well where that place is – and you stand back and watch your jealousy happen, and then let it go.  It is essential to let it go.

1 Comment

Filed under blogs

Seasons – Blog No. 4

seasons-wallpapers-48397-hd-wallpapers-backgroundWinter.  Spring.  Summer.  Autumn.  Each has its value.  Spring is the season I am most interested in.  I would go as far as to say it is my favourite season.  It is all about growth.  Regeneration.  A surge of Natural energy unlike at any other time of the year.  That growth energy is essential for the well-being of the planet.  For those who live in concrete jungles, it is not enough to have a pot plant on your coffee table that you might look at twice a day.  You need more of Nature than that.  The chain reaction that takes place when a human experiences a surge of happiness out in Nature is beneficial to humankind, to the collective soul.  Those vibes are pure and they resonate an innocence.  There is no sweeter ecstasy than being swept away by Nature’s majesty.  If you do not feel deeply touched by natural beauty then perhaps you should donate your eyes to someone who cannot see, but would like to.

There are autumnal personalities.  Summer personalities.  Take time to learn which type of person you are being, when.  You will show yourself in stages – each age of you – to be of a season.  Your behaviours and preferences at certain times in your life will demonstrate to you – and others – your type.  When you understand yourself as a reflection of Nature you become more open to – and tolerant of – your changeability, and that of others.  Your personality can go through phases, as can your feelings.  You might be completely in love with a person on Tuesday and on Wednesday you watch them across the room and wonder who they truly are.  These swings in feelings, behaviours, are not to be side-lined, evaded.  They can be extreme on occasion, but even so they are to be looked at and they are to be accepted as part of your make-up.  If you refuse to accept who you honestly are – how can you possibly expect anybody else to want to bother?  If you spend your days hiding your true self from sight, avoiding your repressions, suppressions and insecurities, you are wasting everyone’s time.  Be who you are, when you are.  No-one wants to spend time getting to know a liar.

Seasonal flow is how to go about your life.  Let your days come to you and then let them go.  Take them at face-value.  Each one has something to teach you.  Know that sometimes you will feel like hibernating.  At other times you will feel like you have the fire of midsummer sun in your heart.  It depends.  That seasons are always in flux should give you a clue as to the nature of the run of your race.  Don’t push or shove yourself around.  Let the seasons guide you.  Each one has raw beauty.  Let the beauty seduce you.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Peace (and quiet) – Blog No. 76

quote-never-for-the-sake-of-peace-and-quiet-deny-your-own-experience-or-convictions-dag-hammarskjold-78635Would you expect peace in Utopia?  Would you assume it to be a wholly peaceful place?  I think it is better never to assume anything, no matter how well you may have convinced yourself that you know what is best in a particular situation.  There is always someone who knows better than you do.  I have learnt that lesson in life and I trust its consistency.  The trick is to find that person.  Does Utopia – or Elysium, Heaven, a harem of 1000 virgins, Paradise, etc – exist for you?  Even just in your dreams?  Does it mean to you perfect, or does it mean ideal?  You need to define these things for yourself before you can set about finding yours.  That yours is the same as mine – or the next person’s – is a possibility, but this is doubtful in a world this self sufficient.  We each have a private ideal, a personal state of perfection that we (ought) to be striving towards.  It depends on how you view perfection as to how your Utopian odyssey will unfold.  Your journey is ongoing, you will find yourself there, in time.  It just takes time.

The way to peace is to educate.  Ask Malala Yousafzai, support her cause with $10 a month if you do not yet do anything for your world.  What is $10 worth in your world?  Encourage your children to support a worthy cause – let them learn the value of compassion.  Teach them that it is important to give something back when you have more than others do and teach them this through your example.  It is more and more apparent in these everydays that our children are very capable of understanding the meaning behind an action, a behaviour – i.e. a motivation.  Do not take from them this facility.  Nourish it, them.  Let them learn empathy, through affection.  It will get them far in life.

In pursuit of peace (and quiet) it is your responsibility as an adult to demonstrate your true nature in front of children.  They see straight through an act and besides, they learn assertion.  Let them read your truth because this is how you show a child respect for their time.  Their assessment.  Letting them know your weaknesses as well as your strengths is not a failure, it is a clued-up move.  Apologise when you shout, curse.  Explain if you cry.  If you curse under your breath, that counts.  Saying sorry says hey – it is human to make mistakes.  Life is dramatic – there is no getting away from that reality.  If you think it is not then you need to open your eyes and notice for once (in a very long while) its colour.  Colour brings pain, mind you.  Moderate that pain.  It is vital for children to realise through your demonstration the real of this world we live in.  It is an exercise in strengthening, stretching their emotional intelligence.  Please recognise a child’s emotional intelligence when you spot it.  The more equipped children are to handle themselves (in any situation that presents itself), the more stable their end life-view is going to be.  Children do not think in infinities.  They need an end view that is stable – whatever that stability entails.  Theirs’ can be surprisingly flexible, their stability – it depends what keeps them happy.  Children have extraordinary capacity and they will instinctively stretch themselves.  Let them.  What is necessary to know is that it is essential that a child develops a life-view that perpetually fires up new synapses with excitement.  Children should laugh a lot and they should be shown a great deal in their lives, as well as a good example.  If you cannot show them a good example – you will need to trust that your child will role-model on the dominant adult in the vicinity who sets best that example.  An example.  If you cannot trust that your child will know right from wrong, then you have a problem.

And if you do not know who Malala Yousafzai is, perhaps you should.  She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize one day.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Temperament – Blog No. 74

553595-24219-18What is your temperament?  Do you like who it is that you are?  If you should like yourself some of the time, that is a start.  If you like who you are a great deal – yours is the right space.  You cannot like yourself when you behave badly, try as you might.  Your knowing, your moral fortitude will not allow you to.  If you have no moral compass, it must be said that no one can help you.  A moral compass (or the lack of one) is inherent.  Remember, too, that it is your choice how you behave – not another’s.  Another’s bad behaviour towards you is not permission for you to act like an arsehole.  Try not to let yourself drop your standards – or your guard – in the name of petty retaliation.  Choose your reactions; ensure that they suit the occasion.

You can lie to your heart’s content, you can make excuses for yourself and your short-comings, you can find reasons to justify your bad behaviour.  All of this is possible – and very do-able.  We all do it and we are all good at it.  Have you heard how adept you are at justifying your actions so that you can feel less responsible for bad behaviour?  It is natural to try and allocate blame somewhere – or delegate it – the need is almost instinctive.  It takes a dedicated human being to treat blame as your own bedfellow.  How often do you sit with yourself and accept responsibility for your strained relations with others, your rudeness, your intolerance?  How often will you apologise for your misdemeanours?  And I am talking about apologising to yourself, as well as to others.

Your temperament is not only your nature.  It is not just your personality.  It is your whole, your calling card in this world.  It is the reason people will find you attractive, or not.  It is why you will be successful, or not.  If you have a shit temperament, do something about it.  Your reactions are within your power.  Each of them.  If you do not like how you behave in certain situations – either avoid putting yourself in those situations or transform the way you feel about what is happening to you.  You change your viewpoint – particularly when it comes to the how and why of your behaviour(s) – and you change the way you are perceived in this world.  That can make all the difference.

1 Comment

Filed under blogs

Will – Blog No. 40

i canIf you do not have it, you must cultivate the will to face all things.  That means facing your fears.  Fears are deceptive.  Realise that before you realise anything else.  They give the impression that they are material because they feel as real as any feeling you may have.  Fear – as a feeling – is a powerful motivator.  There is a lot of news about giving your feelings a miss, that they are not to be allowed to dominate your everyday.  I put it to you that you are a human being.  How can you not be dominated by your feelings?  Even serial killers are under the control of their feelings.  It is the rush of death that keeps them doing what they do.  That rush is within.  A feeling.  The same rush you or I might feel when we succeed at something that is important to us.  To complement will, you need courage.  Fortitude.  Courage comes in many shapes and sizes.  Feelings, too.

You cultivate will through pointing out to yourself the positives in any given situation.  The positives engender hope, and we all work well when we allow ourselves to hope.  We can find the will to strive towards something that is better than where we find ourselves now.  Hoping for the best outcome for yourself in whatever predicament you might find yourself is one of the simplest things you can do to change your patterns of thinking.  Instead of dreading an impending disaster (even if there is one coming), or imagining the worst possible scenario that could present itself – try imagining for once that things are going to work out the way you need them to.  I am talking about the big picture.  You need to practice focussing on the big(ger) picture.  The realities you are a part of are stepping stones across a wide, strong river.  You can choose to see this and use the stones to cross over or you can stay back on the riverbank for eternity.  I would suggest that you do not stay on the bank.  Take a step into the river and stand for a moment, feel the movement around you.  That is who you are in this world.

The unexpected can weaken our will.  When we are faced with surprises in life we tend towards a brief panic and then a desperate clinging to anything in the vicinity that is familiar.  We cling to our conditioning, to our behaviours, to our beliefs.  To other people.  We must learn not to cling to other people.  That is like a drowning man drowning his rescuer.  We need to learn that life surprises (of the startling variety) all contain learning.  Step back when they happen and see where your instincts take you.  We are forced to use our initiative when dealing with the new.  Initiative is valuable, nurture your nature.

Remember, too, that our will needs to get us through adversity.  It needs to take us through our worst, when it comes.  And it always comes.  The thing to remember is that it always goes.  That come and go, ebb and flow, is life living for you.  Appreciate its miracle.  Appreciate that your worst is only ever as bad as your good is good.  The higher your highs, the lower your lows.  That is equilibrium.

2 Comments

Filed under blogs