Tag Archives: parenting

Children – Blog No. 32

effects-child-abuse1I am not quite sure this planet realises how problematic it is that children are not treated right in too many parts of the world.  Probably in every part of the world.  I cannot understand the need people have to breed and then abuse their children.  Why would you procreate when you cannot handle having a child?  And motherhood – and fatherhood – is about handling your progeny, not annihilating them.  That – to me – is possibly the most stupid of all human behaviours.  Breeding willy-nilly without thought of consequence, just having babies because you cannot be bothered not to.  It’s obscene.

Children are vulnerable and very impressionable.  All of them.  How many times does that have to be said before people take heed?  What you show your child of life is how it will grow.  The reality is startling in its simplicity.  You kick your child around, or abuse it verbally and emotionally, and you are building a damaged human being.  There is not much space left on this planet for damaged people.  There are already way too many.  It is time that the damaging was brought under control.  It is ruining people, society.  I am not sure what would happen if every abuser took accountability for his/her behaviour – recognised it, themselves.  If they opened their eyes they would realise the fate that was awaiting them.

Having children is not ‘what you do’ in life.  Times have changed.  How hard can it be to understand that parenting is not an essential part of living?  How hard can it be to understand that there are a great many lives that would be far less stressful without children in them?  That is fact, it is not something to feel sentimental about.  Children are a joy on many levels, and that is what they are supposed to be.  They are not punch-bags.  They are not adults.  They are not to be underestimated, either.

 

 

 

 

 

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Reformation – Blog No. 30

reformation-day-serviceIt would seem that the Church has been reforming itself – at the request of the people – since before the 16th century.  People have been skeptical about the Church for a very long time.  We are now in the 21st century and it would seem that it is time again for the Church to reform itself.  I can understand that any long-standing tradition will have difficulty in accepting that a shake-up is necessary.  Too bad – it is.  The point that the Church needs to understand is that people are not the same as they were.  You cannot apply an ancient set of rules (which were perfectly feasible, perhaps, at their time) to the now generations.  Abortion is not guaranteed to send you to whichever hell you think is real.  Neither is sex.  If you abort children because you are too lazy to use contraception, that is a different story.  That is why contraception exists.  Parenting is not something everyone is good at doing, and it is not something that everyone should do.

Reformation is always for the better.  Always.  To reform old ideas is exciting – especially with the evidence the sciences work very hard to produce for this ‘seeing is believing’ world.  Modifying your ideas is not supposed to be humiliating.  Everyone believes something wholeheartedly at some point in their lives.  Grace comes into play when you admit (however grudgingly) that there are facts you didn’t have before – that you now have –  that change the way you think about things and the way you look at things.  It is said that you will only see what your mind can conceive of.  That is very true.  That is why a reformation is necessary.  It is better to procure the facts and feed them to the people so they can make informed choices.  It is possible that because of what the Church is protecting it cannot change its mind on certain core issues.  That is to be expected.  However, the Church has a huge responsibility because it has a huge following.  A lot of people devoted – totally devoted – to God are praying every day for salvation.  I hope the Church can save them all.

You can reform your life any time you need to.  With – or without – the Church.  If you should want reform, that is up to you.  Want and need are relative in this context.  A reform is no defeat.  A concession, perhaps.  It is not a failing.  It is an admission that things could be better than they are, that the way you are working isn’t working.  That admission is where you begin to see the reason you need to change your thinking.  It is fairly easy to understand that if you cannot change your thinking – things cannot get better.

 

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Stress – Blog No. 64

spannungStress can kill you.  Easily.  Take it on at your peril.  Whether it is relationship stress, work stress, parenting stress or a personal stress – know that it is not good for you.  Your body – your muscles – retain stress for years and years.  Massage – strong massage – is one way to eradicate stored stress in the body.  Exercise, clearly, is another.  If you should leave unattended the stress that living your life has generated, it will mutate into disease and it will harm your body.  It is a given.  You can speak your stresses free.  People should understand that they do not tell themselves enough about what is going on in life.  Silence – when it comes to yourself, your person – is non-productive.  If you cannot give yourself clues about how to run your life, then what help are you to yourself, the world?

Half the stress in our days is generated by our doing other than what we should be doing.  There are very few people on this planet – when you consider that there are about 7 billion of us – that love what they do for a living.  There are too many people following the mentality of the previous generations.  What are they doing?  Every single generation must think differently.  You have to think in the now.  This world is not like it was, then.  If you cannot align your thinking with the way this planet works these days then you are at a disadvantage to begin with.  To become aligned, you need to accept that there is a lot of hate and a lot of hurt in our world.

Animals feel stress.  They feel pain, love, terror, hate.  Only those animals trained to fight and do stupid tricks for humans, learn hate.  Cruelty and abuse break their spirit.  In the wild, animals do not know hate.  Animals just get each other – in fact far better than people do, as humans.  Each type of animal accepts its place in the scheme of things.  They use each other when the need arises.  They are not usually shitty about it.  They eat each other and they breed with each other, they co-exist in the ecosystem.  They play with life and they survive, they are not cruel.  They are not greedy – they are not human.

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Disillusionment – Blog No. 58

old_people_illusionDisillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window.  Toss it out.  What is the point of being disillusioned?  Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life.  No one wants to be a victim of life.  Life plays hard with everybody, alike.  Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not.  You are not here to count your woes, in any case.  You are here to count your blessings.  Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me.  Let them.  In fact – let your woes, go.  Who says you cannot?  Where they go is not your business.  Good riddance.  Why can you not just cut them loose?  Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone.  What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes?  We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes.  We must  watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real.  Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.

If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it.  Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to.  Let them have imaginary friends.  It does not mean they are psychotic.  Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child.  It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow.  As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality.  As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does.  You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too.  How you choose to do that is up to you.  If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build.  If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent.  Negligent parents are not what this world needs.

Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless.  How can you be disillusioned  when you have chosen your own path?  When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons.  Nothing is as it was before.  What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with.  You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold.  It is an occupational hazard.  Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength.  The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can.  You can manage your illusion with some precision.  Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable.  If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path.  Get off it.  Look around.  Go where no one has gone before.  Go to the unknown.  It is a place in you.  It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place.  Get busy interpreting and living your dreams  – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself.  If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.

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How real are you? – Blog No. 30

inner-childHow seriously do you take yourself?  I hope that you pay yourself due attention.  Know when to be serious about your life, but know that if you are too serious you run the risk of missing the point of being.  We are also on this planet to play.  Each of us humans has a child inside of us that requires indulgence and parenting.  Even if you have no children of your own, realise that you are still a parent.  You are a parent to yourself.  You cannot avoid this role.  That voice you hear nagging in your head, that chase you feel in yourself when you are doing right, or wrong, that is part of being responsible for your person.  Do you respect your inner parent?  How do you respond to its criticism?  Do you hear criticism, or do you hear words of love and encouragement?  Listen and decide.  What type of parent are you?  Analyse your patterns and your proclivities.  As both child, and parent.  You will see in your style of parenting your understanding of yourself.  You want to understand yourself, your inner child.  You will find in the child your shelved dreams.  Your core beliefs.  How you respond to the world of your inner child is of grave consequence.  Should you show no respect for its evidence you will find yourself relying solely on your conditioning to get you by in this life of trials.  The child has no qualms about leaving you to your own devices.  It has enough with which to occupy itself.  Should you ignore it, it will ignore you.  A warning – do not rely on your conditioning.  It is not who you are.  It is who you have learned to be and in that you may as well be an automaton.  Be who you are.  Work around that which is already in you – your conditioning.  It is essential if we wish to meet our real selves.  Separate from what you know.  Find yourself in the unknown.

Your parent is a construct.  Understand that. You have built it into what it is.  Now take its essence and mould it to the kind of parent you know your inner child needs.  Make the conscious choice to give yourself what is necessary to bring out your best.  That is in your power.  It is good to know you have power.  Use it.

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