Tag Archives: sadness

Critics – Blog No. 21

Critics

Critics are important.  When they are required.  When they are not required they are nothing short of a pain in the arse.  Critics are the reason there are censors, and censors – where necessary – can be valuable.  For instance:  censors are needed when it comes to the matters of children.  Adolescents should be guided, too, by sensible censors and adults in their own capacity should be quite capable of choosing what they would like to expose themselves to. When critics are selected – and I am not talking about the idiot critics who elect themselves experts on subjects they know nothing about – there are vital criteria that must be met.  One of those is the selector’s ability to recognise in a critic his/her inherent intent when criticising.

Fortunately constructive criticism exists.  It is still possible to find those who delight in the success of others in this dog-eat-dog world.  It would seem that the predominant desire in this world – perhaps because there are billions of ‘have-nots’ on this planet – is to see your neighbour fail once he/she has achieved a degree of success deemed by you to be ‘above their station in life’.  Resentments abound.  Those that ‘have’ at first become their own clan, thinking that by pulling together they will somehow preserve their imagined pre-eminence and protect their investments.  In the manic dash to close ranks in their capitalist panic they do not realise that the welfare of their fellow humans is their investment.

Once upon a time I said that there were some things I needed, and some that I didn’t.  It would seem that some idiot decided that they knew better than me what I required and in an act of perhaps misdirected goodwill delivered me to the kangaroo court, the Spanish Inquisition’s firing squad and the Doors of Hell.  It was not expected that I would benefit from the experiences, but I ensured that I did.  I discovered on my lengthy journey that kangaroos were in fact dogs dressed in sheep’s clothing, that Spanish is a beautiful language to listen to and I learned that my private Hell was nothing to fear.  Quite the contrary.  It is the scars that are housed in my private Hell that held the keys to the foreseeable future.  We all have a private Hell.  A personal place we send ourselves at various stages to make amends.  The point in being sent there is to fix things, to heal our ravaged souls.  There is no point in going there with the intention of inflicting further damage upon yourself for the same old sins committed.  You are there to face and accept old fears, to process your allocated pain.  You are there to understand your sadness and to let it go.  You are not there to assassinate your own character – so do not become your own worst critic.

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The Brokenhearted – Blog No. 72

broken-heart-syndromeTrust that it is necessary to have your heart broken at least once in this life.  It need not be a relationship breakdown that brings it on, it could be your cat getting squashed by a car.  A death in the family.  It could be that you feel brokenhearted because the world is in the state it is.  It depends how deep your feelings go.  When your heart is broken, you are forced into a confrontation with yourself.  You are wounded and you are not happy.  The conversations you will have with yourself will be filled with self-pity and usually you respond to the call of victim for a time.  Be sure that it is only for a time.

The broken heart heals if you allow it to.  When it is permitted to thrash around in agony it works its pain out the way it knows how.  Let it.  This is the best way.  Your emotions will take the hit, but that can be managed.  A broken heart hurts.  It is a physical ache, a mental torture.  A spiritual strengthening.  A broken heart does not forget how to love.  Ever.  It just struggles to adjust to the idea that its sharing is going to have to be with somebody new.  It is hard to let go of the old to make space for the new.  In fact that is one of this life’s biggest challenges.  Falling out of love with someone is not the end of the world.  Recognising the truth of the matter, is.  A love lost breaks a heart, every time.  A broken heart comes with sadness.  Sadness is heavy and it decimates your being, but it has to be felt and it has to be worked through.  You cannot ignore it.  Remember that sadness will stay with you as long as it can.  It is up to you to decide when the time is over for its punishment.

The healed heart will carry scars.  This is not serious.  Each scar, a love.  How can that be bad news?  Celebrate the loves you have had in your life.  You will know which have been loves and which have not.  Try not to hate people you once loved.  That is not productive.  It is your responsibility to remind yourself why you loved them once upon a time.  That reason – those reasons – must be enough to prevent you from regretting your choices.  If you cannot bring yourself to a place where you can at least appreciate the learning you have received through loving and losing love, you have a lot of work to do.  Each love in your life has been sent to you for a reason.  You are a reason in someone else’s life.  Assess yourself.  Your relationships.  Are you getting what you need?  Are you learning?  If you are not, you must ask yourself what you are doing.

 

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