25 Jun 2015 · 14:28
It is challenging to prevent yourself from practicing transference. In your every exchange with another there will be energy expended in the direction of the other and there will be energy from the other that will find its way to you. It is necessary to be selective with your energies. It is wise in this life to interact with energies that bring out your best. In this regard it is helpful to be of a positive mindset – optimists tend towards energies that lend themselves to development rather than destruction. An important learning is which energies you are willing to accept and which energies you need to deflect. Under no circumstances is it necessary to accept every energy that comes your way.
Solitude for many people is a plateau. A place of repose. It is not to say that solitude does not lend itself to development, but the nature of the progress made with yourself on your own is perhaps slower than the advances that can be made in relationships. Naturally, it does depend on the status of the relationship you find yourself in. If there is unnecessary stress in the relationships through which you choose to learn, it is better to take yourself out of those particular relationship equations.
Whether it can be said that solitude is preferable is a matter of personal opinion. It depends on what kind of a relationship you have with yourself. At times it is far more pleasant to be alone than it is to be with idiots. That is not insulting to people in general, it is just how it is. How you get ‘alone’ is your business. Some can take themselves to that place and some cannot. For those that cannot, it is a pity.
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Tagged as best, deflect, destruction, development, energy, exchange, Nature, optimist, relationships, solitude, transference
24 Mar 2014 · 10:07
Domination is an interesting game to play. We have all spent time trying to dominate – situations, people, opinions. The need to be dominant is a throw-back to our wild. Males and females both do it. Children try it on all the time. Domination is not wholly an unhealthy pursuit, it just depends how far you will go to be the dominator. Take Russia for example, they are busy playing dangerous domination games. They will dominate in Crimea, despite the rising tide of negative public opinion with regards this particular pursuit of power. It would seem that they imagine themselves invincible. Their view is irresponsible, provocative, and it does not sit easy with the global community. Perhaps Russia should give some thought to the fact that they are currently disturbing the balance on our planet. This has consequences. I do not believe that Russia has the right to decide that Crimea needs to be a part of its make-up. Crimea belongs to the Crimeans, not the Russians. In fact, it is peculiarly obnoxious for Russia to be stretching its borders to include land that does not belong under Russia’s thumb. It would seem that Vladimir Putin forgets that invasions did not work well for Hitler in the long run. His big ideas are small-minded. Outdated. In actuality – backward. In fact it has to be asked – who exactly does Russia think it is? It cannot convince anyone that its objectives are honourable, no matter how earnest its self-righteous claims.
Domination is a key factor in relationships. Traditionally, women have learned and played the submissive role. Men have been the dominators. Of course there are many exceptions to this rule, but conditioning has seen to it that men stand head and shoulders above women when it comes to being ‘in charge’. It is refreshing to see the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, making inroads in a male-dominated industry. Politics is an industry, as much as capitalism is an industry. It is encouraging to watch Hilary Clinton at work in her fields of expertise – the adherence to the ways of women bodes well for the future of global diplomacy. There are good reasons why women are usually better at diplomacy than men are. Theirs’ is a learned patience, an inherent understanding of how the world and its people work.
Sex is about domination. Base instinct sees males mounting females in Nature, although it should be remembered that mating in Nature is most often consensual. A male will seldom mount a female unless she has given him the go-ahead. With humans, it is not always this way. There seems to be a subliminal need for humans to demonstrate their prowess – their core ‘power’ – by being the person ‘on top’. Both men and women subscribe to this theory of sexuality and both use their wiles and their ways to make their statement of fact. Be aware that rape is about domination. Slavery is about domination. Domestic violence is about domination, as is child abuse. Think about it. Domination needs careful management. Ungoverned, it creates problems, pain, wars.
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Tagged as Angela Merkel, balance, borders, capitalism, child abuse, children, consensual, consequences, core power, Crimea, diplomacy, domestic violence, domination, dominator, female, global community, Hilary Clinton, Hitler, male, men, Nature, patience, politics, provocative, public opinion, pursuit of power, rape, relationships, Russia, sex, slavery, theory of sexuality, understanding, Vladimir Putin, wild, women
21 Oct 2013 · 16:08
What are the components of a perfect love relationship? You both get what you need. You do not judge one another for being who you are – which means you do not piss each other off, or disappoint each other. You want the best for your other half – which means you want them to be happy, whatever that takes. If you are not interested in a perfect relationship then why are you in one? Of course these components are ideals. Subscribe to them. We live in an idealistic society. In case you did not yet notice there are a lot of people in this world who expect perfection and so they should. Nature is perfect. Perfect in her execution, her delivery. If you need an example, follow hers.
If you are not in a relationship with someone you love you are not developing as a human being. You cannot develop your connections, your social skills on your own. Your relationships – all of them – mould your person. Be brave in relationships, you will learn a lot. If you do not have or care about having social skills, then that is another matter altogether. Relationships are usually challenging – it is not often you find a perfect love relationship. Know they do exist. If you wish to have one you must expect to search for it. You do not just happen upon perfection. You need to want it, and you have to know how you are going to get it.
You should get to make choices in your relationships. In this day and age you should not be forced to be with someone because another person says you must. That is ridiculous. Arranged situations are no longer necessary, they went out with the ark. Know that if you believe in match-making because you will somehow gain from the association, you must change your thinking. That kind of strategic breeding has had its day. It is no longer the best way forwards. You need to let go of your old ideas. You may not dictate who another might – or might not – love. That never works. Love decides who is best for who. Not you.
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Tagged as arranged marriage, brave, choice, choices, connections, development, freedom, gay rights, human being, Love, match-making, Nature, perfect, perfection, personal gain, relationships, social skills
13 Sep 2013 · 10:15
Trust that it is necessary to have your heart broken at least once in this life. It need not be a relationship breakdown that brings it on, it could be your cat getting squashed by a car. A death in the family. It could be that you feel brokenhearted because the world is in the state it is. It depends how deep your feelings go. When your heart is broken, you are forced into a confrontation with yourself. You are wounded and you are not happy. The conversations you will have with yourself will be filled with self-pity and usually you respond to the call of victim for a time. Be sure that it is only for a time.
The broken heart heals if you allow it to. When it is permitted to thrash around in agony it works its pain out the way it knows how. Let it. This is the best way. Your emotions will take the hit, but that can be managed. A broken heart hurts. It is a physical ache, a mental torture. A spiritual strengthening. A broken heart does not forget how to love. Ever. It just struggles to adjust to the idea that its sharing is going to have to be with somebody new. It is hard to let go of the old to make space for the new. In fact that is one of this life’s biggest challenges. Falling out of love with someone is not the end of the world. Recognising the truth of the matter, is. A love lost breaks a heart, every time. A broken heart comes with sadness. Sadness is heavy and it decimates your being, but it has to be felt and it has to be worked through. You cannot ignore it. Remember that sadness will stay with you as long as it can. It is up to you to decide when the time is over for its punishment.
The healed heart will carry scars. This is not serious. Each scar, a love. How can that be bad news? Celebrate the loves you have had in your life. You will know which have been loves and which have not. Try not to hate people you once loved. That is not productive. It is your responsibility to remind yourself why you loved them once upon a time. That reason – those reasons – must be enough to prevent you from regretting your choices. If you cannot bring yourself to a place where you can at least appreciate the learning you have received through loving and losing love, you have a lot of work to do. Each love in your life has been sent to you for a reason. You are a reason in someone else’s life. Assess yourself. Your relationships. Are you getting what you need? Are you learning? If you are not, you must ask yourself what you are doing.
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Tagged as agony, broken hearted, choices, learning, love lost, needs, pain, reason, relationships, sadness, scars, victim