I once knew a person who jumped off a sort-of makeshift bridge to demonstrate his expertise to a skeptical audience of one. That was just as well. It blew up soon thereafter. I admired his wisdom, his vision. Better to be a jumper with implicit faith in flight than a smithereen.
When you become the fall guy, which you inevitably will, where you land is sometimes a surprise. Sometimes. It all depends on which way is up. If you know your ups from your downs and your insides from your outsides, the prospect of landing intact is all that you need to worry about. Asides from that – I would say too much worrying about the whats and ifs is pointless. Worry cannot stop an actuality from happening. Pre-emptive care can do that.
If, perchance, we should interpret ‘fall guy’ as the guy responsible for autumn – or more specifically, for autumnal thinking – then we must suggest that it is the right time for him to get busy living. He needs to pit his reason against the season. When autumnal thinking is allowed to get out of hand, which it currently is, the system can do little but sit on its sidelines and watch itself sink into a perpetual winter. That would be fine if the system would sink alone. It won’t, though. It will try every thing it knows to take all of its advocates with it.
How are people taught to reason? Does it come naturally, or is it learned? Is reason a by-product of philosophy’s tendency to bounce around the word ‘therefore’ when coming to its conclusions? Reason can complicate matters. It is an important skill, but employ it wisely. Do not discount those things you cannot rationally – reasonably – explain. Not knowing the how or why of something is no reason to disregard it. In good time everything comes clear – if something does not make sense immediately, trust that it will. Being capable of understanding is more valuable than being able to reason. Reason can divert one’s attention from the truth and diverted attention is called not concentrating. It is vital to concentrate when searching for the truth.
You react because another acts towards you in a certain way. For instance, the reason a person shoots dead an intruder is because the intruder is trespassing. That is not reason enough. The reason a person assassinates another’s character is because they have low self-esteem. That is not reason enough. You cannot always excuse an action because there is a reason behind it. The reason for a genocide is a hatred. A fear. Those reasons are never reason enough.
Giving valid reasons for your actions makes sense if you feel the need to explain yourself to other people. Some people feel that need. Some people feel the need to make others explain themselves. Who is anyone to make another person explain themselves? That need that people have, makes me smile. Like policemen they stand, demanding disclosure. You cannot force disclosure if you want the truth. Ask nicely and you might get an explanation, which is better than being given a reason. However. Give reasons if you feel you need to. Be sure they explain themselves. It is not to say that the reasons you give will be met with approval, but give them anyway. They open dialogue.
It is an interesting thought. How do you convey an understanding? That is some skill, when you can do that effectively. It is a skill we are all learning, all the time. It is about being skilled in communication. However you choose to do that. Understanding is visceral. You can feel it. How do you confer a feeling? First you must understand the feeling before you can attempt to share it. When you hear a truth, remember that you do not need to remind yourself to remember it for the future, when you hear a truth it sinks right in. You have to do nothing more than hear it. Hearing is not the same as listening. Also, it is best if you do not start trying to fight the truth with reason – man’s reason ought not be valued as much as it is in this world. It tries with its noise to out-shout others whose opinions are more valuable.
It is said that love means understanding a person’s position when they wrong you, treat you badly. Instead of lashing out, you stand back and you consider what pain the person must be in. Pain governs a great deal of bad behaviour and oftentimes deserves empathy. This can be challenging. Of course, should the person treating you badly simply be an arsehole, then take yourself out of their equation. In life there is really little point in surrounding yourself with arseholes, do not allow yourself to become one, either. It is a choice.
To share an understanding with another is a beautiful thing indeed. Your understandings will guide you in life. They guide very effectively when you have them accessible, your understandings lead you to ever-new perceptions about people, times, places. Fresh perceptions are necessary in life. They inspire you. When you understand something new, or you understand a thing differently to the way you understood it before, you give yourself tools with which to work your life around you. It is worth taking time to understand a thing, things. Tools come in a variety of shapes, and sizes.
Trust that it is necessary to have your heart broken at least once in this life. It need not be a relationship breakdown that brings it on, it could be your cat getting squashed by a car. A death in the family. It could be that you feel brokenhearted because the world is in the state it is. It depends how deep your feelings go. When your heart is broken, you are forced into a confrontation with yourself. You are wounded and you are not happy. The conversations you will have with yourself will be filled with self-pity and usually you respond to the call of victim for a time. Be sure that it is only for a time.
The broken heart heals if you allow it to. When it is permitted to thrash around in agony it works its pain out the way it knows how. Let it. This is the best way. Your emotions will take the hit, but that can be managed. A broken heart hurts. It is a physical ache, a mental torture. A spiritual strengthening. A broken heart does not forget how to love. Ever. It just struggles to adjust to the idea that its sharing is going to have to be with somebody new. It is hard to let go of the old to make space for the new. In fact that is one of this life’s biggest challenges. Falling out of love with someone is not the end of the world. Recognising the truth of the matter, is. A love lost breaks a heart, every time. A broken heart comes with sadness. Sadness is heavy and it decimates your being, but it has to be felt and it has to be worked through. You cannot ignore it. Remember that sadness will stay with you as long as it can. It is up to you to decide when the time is over for its punishment.
The healed heart will carry scars. This is not serious. Each scar, a love. How can that be bad news? Celebrate the loves you have had in your life. You will know which have been loves and which have not. Try not to hate people you once loved. That is not productive. It is your responsibility to remind yourself why you loved them once upon a time. That reason – those reasons – must be enough to prevent you from regretting your choices. If you cannot bring yourself to a place where you can at least appreciate the learning you have received through loving and losing love, you have a lot of work to do. Each love in your life has been sent to you for a reason. You are a reason in someone else’s life. Assess yourself. Your relationships. Are you getting what you need? Are you learning? If you are not, you must ask yourself what you are doing.
The rules of life: there are no fixed rules. We all make up our own. We start with personal rules – these we develop as guidelines for what we like and what we don’t when we are quite little people. Crossing the line – emotionally and physically – is not appreciated, clearly, from a very young age. What makes us set down our first boundaries? I think it is instinct. Children are intuitive creatures. They feel us, our vibes. And they mirror our behaviours. It’s hardly surprising that there is a delinquent overdose in the UK – too many kids have been brought up watching their parents lack focus and ambition.
Children should have tolerance. Even young children. If a child is missing tolerance in its repertoire of behaviours then it is disadvantaged. Tolerance is learned. Tolerance is a word every person understands by virtue of its effect. To be tolerated – particularly when you are being frustrating or damnably changeable – is a gift. Tolerance is not accepting the unacceptable. It is not mindlessly putting up with somebody or something that offends you, or breaks your personal rules. It is about realising that you are in a bigger picture than the one in which you are affected. Tolerance is about standing away from yourself; your troubles, your desires, your judgement. It is about following your heart to a place of feeling rather than taking your head to a place of reason. You cannot reason with intolerance. It is easy to find reason for tolerance when you consider that we are all learning in this life. Even God is learning something new each day, about how humans have evolved. That first-world man has freedom of choice does amaze me some days. That he refuses to appreciate it and fully make use of its facility infuriates me. I do not understand a man with a lethargy for choosing the path of his future. How can you leave your life to run its own course when you have no idea where your future is? That is like driving a car with your eyes closed.
Should you find yourself swamped by official rules – rules that you recognise as being imposed upon you by a needlessly anal bureaucracy (society can make you feel that way on occasion) then you must allow yourself to break a few of those rules. Try not to break the law, that is different. It brings with it due consequence. Consider that if you make the rules that govern your days, you are entitled to break them. Break with your own rules, your old traditions. Open your future out in your mind. Your possibility is limitless. Really limitless. You have to see beyond your limitations because you have imposed them upon yourself. Trust that you can do what your mind dreams of if you allow yourself to step outside of your own box. Stepping out of your box means pushing parameters, letting go of what you know in favour of the unknown. The unknown is a place worth visiting. It is found on the other side of your strict personal regime.