When you hear the words ‘at a loss’ tossed around, remember that the phrase need not be interpreted negatively. The statement indicates that in order for whomever it is to ‘be at a loss’ they have come to realise that prior to their now they had something of great value that they no longer have – and will not get again. At least these people have the good grace to recognise their catastrophic failure to hold on to whatever that ‘thing’ of value was. This is helpful because by facing that failure they are opening their own minds to the actuality of their loss and they are accepting that there is no alternative but to move on without it, wherever that ‘on’ might be. That moving on – in itself – will hopefully bring them to a place of healing, a place where they can begin making amends to their discarded hearts. When you have something of value and you deliberately trash it because of your deluded stupidity, please remember that you are destroying only your own peace of mind – not that of any other. Understanding that actuality is where the word ‘accountability’ steps in. And those ‘at a loss’ will be held accountable – every single one of them.
‘At a loss’ is at times a distinctly fiscal description. For those shackled by the big bad world of finance, greed and ill-gotten gains – being ‘at a loss’ is terrifying news. In the lives of those types, the prospect of watching the numbers that gave them ‘status’ and defined their very existence whittle themselves from billions down to nothing can cause immeasurable stress, coupled with a debilitating fear – and those diseases combined can have disastrous effects. Usually – after hiding denial behind numerous lies, those ‘at a loss’ will start immediately their relentless search for ‘The Perpetrator of Their Misfortunes’ with a ‘no holds barred’ sort of blame-game. Unable to accept that they are ultimately responsible for their own drastic ‘losses’ they will flail around trying to find a fall-guy on whom to pin their fall-out, a scapegoat on which to strap their parachutes. Thereafter, when their fall-guy flies and their parachutes fail to open, they will descend into a state of chaotic desperation. In that state, those types are dangerous. They have sold their souls, i.e. their futures, and will attempt anything in order to restore the balance they imagine they had. It is best to leave them to it. Their wasted efforts expose them further and once totally exposed they will know to refrain from bitching and whining – which is a relief to us all.
Being ‘at a loss’ for words is not synonymous with being speechless. It depends upon what your intentions are. I choose to think that being wordless means that you in fact have a great deal to say, but in certain situations elect to stay silent because the people to whom you should direct certain words are a waste of the energy it would take to utter them. Direct your energy wisely. Those ‘at a loss’ will suffer, too, those protracted silences. Like they will suffer the ‘speechlessness’ that comes with the realisation that the words they never heard cannot ever be respoken – no matter how often they try to read them out loud. It’s all in the timing – and that is not the first time I have said that. Incidentally – those self-same words will not be heard, now, either – no matter which ears the speechless think their ‘right’ words might reach. It’s all in the tone of the say-so and the nature of the hearing ears. The say-so of the speechless, sadly, has no resonance and resonance – like Love – is not a commodity, no matter what your fiscal description.
Your natural state is your natural state. It cannot be the state of another, no matter how hard they might try. That is the first piece of good news. The fact that there is a piece of good news is reason for celebration because it means on some levels the bad news is over. On those levels they choose to receive the negatives first and save the positives – the best – for last. I am not sure what news is coming for the levels that chose to take the best first.
Your natural state of being cannot be manipulated. It is perhaps malleable, in some aspects, but it cannot be ‘shaped’. In fact, the more you attempt to bend a natural state into itself in order to use it to open doors that are not yours, the more likely you are to get struck by lightning. That would make coercion, manipulation, pointless. Of course doors will open for the ‘adjusted natural state’ but they will not be doors that I would choose to go through.
Fear is a natural state of being for some. Happiness is a natural state for others. Again – these are choices, made. Like the choice to be aware of your every gesture, word – and patterns of thinking. There is not only one state of being. There are many. The ability to move seamlessly from one state to another is an art worth learning. Any art worth learning does not take one minute. It takes virtually forever.
In order for military force to be eradicated from this world, all the countries on the planet would need to be trustworthy. They are not. Can you imagine North Korea ever opening up and becoming trusting of the rest of the world? You cannot trust them to be open for one minute. They are paranoid. Scared of watermelons. And that is dangerous; it makes for reactionary, trigger-happy. Certainly they are not the only ones who do not trust in this world. In fact I do not think any leader trusts any other leader, really. I am not surprised. Each has their agenda to try and squeeze into the Universal schedule and it would seem that when time is measured, as it is, there is no space in the calendar for charity.
The best loyalty is that which develops through ongoing mutual trust. You cannot force loyalty. You cannot employ fear and expect to be shown loyalty. Ever. Fear may force allegiance, but it cannot force loyalty. At base-level, loyalty is what you want. It is what you need in this life. When it comes to loyalty, tread gently, respectfully. You are working with heart. You cannot force your heart. It should be said that a forced hand is not a happy hand. It may do your bidding, but it will not move to save you when the tables are turned. And believe me, the tables are always turned.
A forceful spirit is not what to aspire to. Please remember, spirit is gentle. Unless it gets extremely angry. Let’s keep the collective spirit, calm. Understand that because of the way we have all built Earth, force is occasionally necessary – to explain in this day and age to a mindset warped by violence – that violence is not acceptable. After countless experiments it has been established that this is the only effective measure (with the majority, the masses) in getting a violent mindset to stand down.
If you do not have it, you must cultivate the will to face all things. That means facing your fears. Fears are deceptive. Realise that before you realise anything else. They give the impression that they are material because they feel as real as any feeling you may have. Fear – as a feeling – is a powerful motivator. There is a lot of news about giving your feelings a miss, that they are not to be allowed to dominate your everyday. I put it to you that you are a human being. How can you not be dominated by your feelings? Even serial killers are under the control of their feelings. It is the rush of death that keeps them doing what they do. That rush is within. A feeling. The same rush you or I might feel when we succeed at something that is important to us. To complement will, you need courage. Fortitude. Courage comes in many shapes and sizes. Feelings, too.
You cultivate will through pointing out to yourself the positives in any given situation. The positives engender hope, and we all work well when we allow ourselves to hope. We can find the will to strive towards something that is better than where we find ourselves now. Hoping for the best outcome for yourself in whatever predicament you might find yourself is one of the simplest things you can do to change your patterns of thinking. Instead of dreading an impending disaster (even if there is one coming), or imagining the worst possible scenario that could present itself – try imagining for once that things are going to work out the way you need them to. I am talking about the big picture. You need to practice focussing on the big(ger) picture. The realities you are a part of are stepping stones across a wide, strong river. You can choose to see this and use the stones to cross over or you can stay back on the riverbank for eternity. I would suggest that you do not stay on the bank. Take a step into the river and stand for a moment, feel the movement around you. That is who you are in this world.
The unexpected can weaken our will. When we are faced with surprises in life we tend towards a brief panic and then a desperate clinging to anything in the vicinity that is familiar. We cling to our conditioning, to our behaviours, to our beliefs. To other people. We must learn not to cling to other people. That is like a drowning man drowning his rescuer. We need to learn that life surprises (of the startling variety) all contain learning. Step back when they happen and see where your instincts take you. We are forced to use our initiative when dealing with the new. Initiative is valuable, nurture your nature.
Remember, too, that our will needs to get us through adversity. It needs to take us through our worst, when it comes. And it always comes. The thing to remember is that it always goes. That come and go, ebb and flow, is life living for you. Appreciate its miracle. Appreciate that your worst is only ever as bad as your good is good. The higher your highs, the lower your lows. That is equilibrium.