When you hear the words ‘at a loss’ tossed around, remember that the phrase need not be interpreted negatively. The statement indicates that in order for whomever it is to ‘be at a loss’ they have come to realise that prior to their now they had something of great value that they no longer have – and will not get again. At least these people have the good grace to recognise their catastrophic failure to hold on to whatever that ‘thing’ of value was. This is helpful because by facing that failure they are opening their own minds to the actuality of their loss and they are accepting that there is no alternative but to move on without it, wherever that ‘on’ might be. That moving on – in itself – will hopefully bring them to a place of healing, a place where they can begin making amends to their discarded hearts. When you have something of value and you deliberately trash it because of your deluded stupidity, please remember that you are destroying only your own peace of mind – not that of any other. Understanding that actuality is where the word ‘accountability’ steps in. And those ‘at a loss’ will be held accountable – every single one of them.
‘At a loss’ is at times a distinctly fiscal description. For those shackled by the big bad world of finance, greed and ill-gotten gains – being ‘at a loss’ is terrifying news. In the lives of those types, the prospect of watching the numbers that gave them ‘status’ and defined their very existence whittle themselves from billions down to nothing can cause immeasurable stress, coupled with a debilitating fear – and those diseases combined can have disastrous effects. Usually – after hiding denial behind numerous lies, those ‘at a loss’ will start immediately their relentless search for ‘The Perpetrator of Their Misfortunes’ with a ‘no holds barred’ sort of blame-game. Unable to accept that they are ultimately responsible for their own drastic ‘losses’ they will flail around trying to find a fall-guy on whom to pin their fall-out, a scapegoat on which to strap their parachutes. Thereafter, when their fall-guy flies and their parachutes fail to open, they will descend into a state of chaotic desperation. In that state, those types are dangerous. They have sold their souls, i.e. their futures, and will attempt anything in order to restore the balance they imagine they had. It is best to leave them to it. Their wasted efforts expose them further and once totally exposed they will know to refrain from bitching and whining – which is a relief to us all.
Being ‘at a loss’ for words is not synonymous with being speechless. It depends upon what your intentions are. I choose to think that being wordless means that you in fact have a great deal to say, but in certain situations elect to stay silent because the people to whom you should direct certain words are a waste of the energy it would take to utter them. Direct your energy wisely. Those ‘at a loss’ will suffer, too, those protracted silences. Like they will suffer the ‘speechlessness’ that comes with the realisation that the words they never heard cannot ever be respoken – no matter how often they try to read them out loud. It’s all in the timing – and that is not the first time I have said that. Incidentally – those self-same words will not be heard, now, either – no matter which ears the speechless think their ‘right’ words might reach. It’s all in the tone of the say-so and the nature of the hearing ears. The say-so of the speechless, sadly, has no resonance and resonance – like Love – is not a commodity, no matter what your fiscal description.
Being floored can be a stressful event for certain types of people. For others, it is an essential experience – hence it is regarded as one of Life’s greater pleasures. It is preferable to be of the latter type, unless you have no choice, in which case you simply deal as best you can with the hand you have dealt yourself. Stress is a serious disease. As is bitterness, hatred. It is a shame for those who are floored with a heart filled with hatred because their longevity depends on their ability to get grounded in Love. Love does not invite hatred into its sacrosanct space. Ever. In fact it chases hatred right out. That is its way.
There is a technique to a perfect flooring. It takes practice. Landing takes practice, too. In some instances the floor will be there for you when you fall – in others, it won’t. Be sure you do not need a floor if you haven’t got one, otherwise you might find yourself landing badly. It is possible on the odd occasion to floor yourself. This is the best position in which to find yourself because a personal flooring is quite possibly the best learning curve, ever. Tripping yourself up, on the other hand, is not advisable.
When you floor something – or someone – properly, the reason behind said flooring becomes immediately apparent. You do not question the reasons. You accept your grounding with good grace and you take gratefully the lessons that are learned when your head hits the deck. When your body hits the deck you best hope that you did not have far to fall, else it will hurt. It is like that with unplanned landings. Once landed, floored, grounded, it is advisable to get straight back up. You know what they say about getting back on track – the sooner you pick your lip up off the floor and stiffen your resolve the more likely you are to begin getting where you think you are going.
For one thing, transgression is better than either regression or aggression. It suggests a daring. Courage. A questioning. Transgressors are those who will ask questions and receive answers until they come to a clear understanding of why and how this life is like it is. Transgression does not suggest to me evil intent. Evil intent is not mischievous, it is sinister and vicious. Transgressing is basically stepping out of your bounds. You cannot half-transgress. You either do or you don’t. It is like parachuting. Your ‘chute either opens or it doesn’t. You find that out when it happens.
Transgression tends to cause stress. Not only for those who are prepared to buck the system, but also for those who are obliged to witness said bucking. If your transgression should involve an other, or others, you can be sure that there will be an implicit trust between said members. They will be well-attuned to one another, to their environment. They communicate – demonstrate – an actuality – a firm standing for sound principles and a refusal to be subjugated by corruption.
Transgressions happen. That is not to say that they are acceptable, accepted. Transgressing will often result in frowns, lectures. Tut-tutting and the big one – complete disapproval. An attempt at tightening the head-screws, if you like. Luckily when there is a reason for transgressing, transgressors do not pay attention to head-screws – or fuckheads, even. There is no time left in mind to listen to a bigot’s one-sided opinion, or the whining denials in an idiot’s lies.
Wherever you are in this world, you are likely to encounter foreigners. If you should travel, you yourself will be a foreigner. Feeling foreign is stressful. Being treated as a foreigner is an uncomfortable feeling. Particularly when that treatment is ongoing no matter how long you stay in a place. Perhaps it is simply suspicion that makes people treat foreigners as if they were a lesser breed. Perhaps it is more than that. Fear of difference (… yawn …) keeps guards up, and this prevents open exchange between strangers. You cannot have an open exchange with someone you mistrust. It is important to trust yourself, too, it enables you to trust others without fear. Foreigners are not usually dangerous. It is safe to say there are more people on this planet that can be trusted, than those that cannot. Just open your ears. You will hear the difference, no matter what language comes rolling off a tongue.
Foreigners are a valuable source of income for any country. They can also be an education if you can be bothered to give them the time of day. Prejudice against anything foreign, or new, is not productive for anybody. You cannot hope to grow when you are not interested to learn from another how they happened upon life, how it has moulded them. The way you are – and the way you feel about that, as well the way you feel about your place in the world around you speaks for you when you enter into open exchange with someone from another country. If they are interested to speak to you, they will read your ‘type’ in your eyes. Your upbringing will show itself, your conditioning. If you will not meet the eyes of a foreigner simply because they are foreign, you are rude. If you will not meet the eyes of a woman, for whatever reason, you are even ruder.
Being foreign in a place should be enjoyable and exciting. It is a learning. Everyone should be bothered about learning from each other. You cannot make the jump you need to make into your future without the insights of people who are not like you. You cannot get where you need to be without cooperation. We are like keys and locks – each one of us. Give benefit of the doubt where possible. It is good for you. It is also good for the other person. If you are taken advantage of, you will learn what not to do again.
I am not quite sure this planet realises how problematic it is that children are not treated right in too many parts of the world. Probably in every part of the world. I cannot understand the need people have to breed and then abuse their children. Why would you procreate when you cannot handle having a child? And motherhood – and fatherhood – is about handling your progeny, not annihilating them. That – to me – is possibly the most stupid of all human behaviours. Breeding willy-nilly without thought of consequence, just having babies because you cannot be bothered not to. It’s obscene.
Children are vulnerable and very impressionable. All of them. How many times does that have to be said before people take heed? What you show your child of life is how it will grow. The reality is startling in its simplicity. You kick your child around, or abuse it verbally and emotionally, and you are building a damaged human being. There is not much space left on this planet for damaged people. There are already way too many. It is time that the damaging was brought under control. It is ruining people, society. I am not sure what would happen if every abuser took accountability for his/her behaviour – recognised it, themselves. If they opened their eyes they would realise the fate that was awaiting them.
Having children is not ‘what you do’ in life. Times have changed. How hard can it be to understand that parenting is not an essential part of living? How hard can it be to understand that there are a great many lives that would be far less stressful without children in them? That is fact, it is not something to feel sentimental about. Children are a joy on many levels, and that is what they are supposed to be. They are not punch-bags. They are not adults. They are not to be underestimated, either.
Stress can kill you. Easily. Take it on at your peril. Whether it is relationship stress, work stress, parenting stress or a personal stress – know that it is not good for you. Your body – your muscles – retain stress for years and years. Massage – strong massage – is one way to eradicate stored stress in the body. Exercise, clearly, is another. If you should leave unattended the stress that living your life has generated, it will mutate into disease and it will harm your body. It is a given. You can speak your stresses free. People should understand that they do not tell themselves enough about what is going on in life. Silence – when it comes to yourself, your person – is non-productive. If you cannot give yourself clues about how to run your life, then what help are you to yourself, the world?
Half the stress in our days is generated by our doing other than what we should be doing. There are very few people on this planet – when you consider that there are about 7 billion of us – that love what they do for a living. There are too many people following the mentality of the previous generations. What are they doing? Every single generation must think differently. You have to think in the now. This world is not like it was, then. If you cannot align your thinking with the way this planet works these days then you are at a disadvantage to begin with. To become aligned, you need to accept that there is a lot of hate and a lot of hurt in our world.
Animals feel stress. They feel pain, love, terror, hate. Only those animals trained to fight and do stupid tricks for humans, learn hate. Cruelty and abuse break their spirit. In the wild, animals do not know hate. Animals just get each other – in fact far better than people do, as humans. Each type of animal accepts its place in the scheme of things. They use each other when the need arises. They are not usually shitty about it. They eat each other and they breed with each other, they co-exist in the ecosystem. They play with life and they survive, they are not cruel. They are not greedy – they are not human.