Author Archives: C.J. Birch

C.J. Birch's avatar

About C.J. Birch

I was born on Thursday 13th July 1972 in Harare, Zimbabwe, to an English father and a South African mother. I was christened Catherine Jane Birch and - from the outset - I've been inquisitive about most of life's elemental questions; its myriad paradoxes and unpredictable anomalies, their sources, solutions and their propensity for unmitigated change. From a very young age I was captured by the enigmatic life process, the challenge of living and what it 'means' to be alive. I spent countless invaluable hours in nature, watching the world at its work. I had a fascination for everything around me, curious about what things were, how and why they worked, what they represented in relation to one another. I began writing at the age of 5. Journals, stories and poetry, illustrations, have been a constantly evolving source of quiet self-reflection, expansive expression throughout my life. I'm fortunate to have travelled many miles, to have visited a variety of differing destinations and though I've learned a lot about life in the last 50 years, my questions about its complexities are neverending. I currently live in the south-east of England, having returned to the United Kingdom after a particularly harrowing period of 7 allegedly 'invisible' or 'non-existent' years of absolute hell in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. I've decided to erase those memories, altogether. My 15-year-old son lives in Switzerland, with his father.

And then there were two – Blog No. 2

Viva la Vista

05.01.2016 Tuesday

Things got a bit tight when there was only one Highlander to guard everyone’s best interests.  So they designed a Highlander that did not conform to the usual Highlander standards and that way made space for two.  :).  The thing about everyone’s best interests is that they take up an area greater than 5 cubic metres.  Like a b turns into a p.  Cupic metre.  A measure of Love?  The number of heartbeats that spell your name.  Like pain is measured in Dells.  Childbirth is around 54 Dells.  That would kill most men.  But then again – when men say they are fine, you can believe them.  I am not interested in what women say a lot of the time.   They have a way of being bitches without even trying, which is worrying for them.  And besides, a lot of them have shit for brains.  That is why their heads will wake up in the toilet, like mine did.  I pole-vaulted from the shit-pit to Timbuktu with a zephyr in my backpack and a penchant for revenge … then I gave blame up as a new year’s resolution and found my true path – which, incidentally – has been waiting for me all along.  I never give up on myself, ever.  I never turn up – actually – unless I am here myself.  So that is how I know.

I guess the alarm of Peace sounded?  Like a choir of angels … why, how did it sound to you?  Oh dear.  That isn’t good.  You train your ears to hear songs rather than bullshit.  That training does not take 3 minutes.  There is a stray half lurking around somewhere.  It is worth finding it and asking it some questions.  It might have the answers.  🙂

A UFA?  An unidentified flying arsehole.  As identified by my son, which helps.  His is a good judge of character.  Thank God.  We can all thank God when we see him next.  Lucky he can bounce.  My son, that is.  Trick?  No.  Treat.  :).  I am not into spontaneous combustion, nor do I wish to implode, so I take care when it comes to treasuring our collective soul.  I said it must be, else we wouldn’t be doing it.  DRIVE-THRU.  As in, Velcro.  For reference:  I do not require permission to speak to myself, nor do I require approval to be who it is that I am.  I approve of myself and in this fractured climate that is more than enough for me.  So.  Sayonara to shitheads, Viva to the Vista and Wakarimasu ka to Kindness.

xxx

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

One, Three, Five : Seven and Nine – Blog No. 47

The Golden Ratio

22.12.2015

You don’t have to be good at mathematics to be a numerologist.  Nor do you have to be an actuarial scientist.  You only need a passion for numbers.  Numbers are magical.  Where did their shapes even come from in the first place?  And why did Roman Numerals change into the kind of numbers with which we are now familiar?  I imagine a different message probably needed sending as times modernised and it became more effective to use numbers, than numerals.  Or – the world as it was known to be came to an end and when the new futures were spliced together to recreate the sheer wonder of what had been before there was a slight miscalculation that led to an unexpected over-convergence.  When you have that kind of unexpected overlap in time the strangest things can happen.  Like food falling from the sky and turning into fishes, for instance.

The odd numbers are my favourite numbers.  Even numbers are fine when they come in pairs, otherwise they are best left to their own devices.  Odd numbers have more zeitgeist, for example, than even numbers do.  They embrace their sharp edges, their inconventional un-matchedness.  Through natural selection, an odd number cannot be superstitious or obsessive-compulsive.  They can, however, be incredibly particular when it comes to their presentation and their representation.  You cannot get an odd number wrong.  There is a reason that it is odd to begin with.  Whether it is or isn’t a good reason is not the question.  The question is whether or not the even numbers can count.

The Fibonacci Sequence is the mapping of an actual pattern, a wavelength clearly in motion, since for numbers there is no infinity.  Neither is there an end in sight for a nautilus or a golden spiral.  The ratio of one number to another – in that sequence – is perfect.  And yes, perfect does exist.  It has to in some dimensions.  Like this one in which we currently find ourselves.  For instance, if a parachute is not packed perfectly on earth, it will not open the right way for you when you need it to break your fall.  It is best to understand that, if you will delegate to another the packing of your parachute.

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

One plus one equals three – Blog No. 46

21.12.2015

One plus one equals three, i.e.  1 + 1 = 3.  If you want it to make 5 you are on the wrong planet.  For that you must go to one of your other dimensions.  If you have got no other dimensions to go to, then yours’ is an uncertain future.  Mine, on the other hand, isn’t.  I suspect that is because I am under no illusions.  Neither is God.  He plays a winning hand when it comes to his own construct, which was – incidentally – a very long game of strip poker.  He has been waiting for the perfect moment to show that hand – not because he is concealing anything, but because God only works in perfect timing.  That is not because he is being unfair, or picky, it is because he knows that it is not only vital to have the right words in hand to say, it is vital to know when to say them.

chandelier

It is important to know that when the weight of the world becomes the fine line between puppet and master, God tends to get particularly fussy about accurate timing.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Keep life in perspective – Blog No. 45

perspective

Finding reasons to treasure your life is one of the best ways to ensure that you are capable of keeping it in perspective.  When perspective spins out – which it can do from time to time – it is fair warning that your treasury is nearing empty.  No matter who you are, an emptying treasury is not a good sign.  The way to manage a deficit – when you become aware of it – is to deal with it, for starters.  That means looking first at the problem, and then solving it.  There are times when an awareness of this nature is valuable, even though it can be painful.  It is a stark reminder of what an epic task it is to fill our treasuries in the first place.

Life was created to be lived.  It can be a beautiful experience, but you have to be open to it.  Open means open.  It does not mean 80:20.  It does not mean 50:50.  It does not mean 180°.  It means a full circle, 360°.  In other words, it requires total acceptance from you, the liver of it, the giver of it.  If you cannot find it in yourself to accept the life you have chosen for yourself to live – and a very important distinction to be made here is that YOU have all chosen your lives, i.e. you are neither random happenings and nor are your projected experiences – then you are not only betraying your pure self, you are contributing to the façade behind which a truer humankind once thrived.   The understanding of that particular point is an important lesson in accountability.

Keeping life in perspective means keeping yourself in perspective, too.  That can also be tricky, given that most people have no clue who they are or what they want to be.  However, that is not the biggest problem and can be overcome with some self-discipline and a bit of forethought, hindsight and intuition that you can trust.  If you cannot trust your own intuition, find someone whose intuition you can rely upon.  You cannot go through life being entirely mistrustful, it is important at times to take people at their word, whatever the consequences.  When you believe that a person will honour their word, they will often be more inclined to do so.  Of course you can learn about being too trusting and you can learn about extortion and racketeering, but those kinds of things you need only learn once.  Once – in that context – is enough.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

When it’s a matter of necessity – Blog No. 44

27.11.15

There are times when there is no time to worry about counting the hours.  The hours are not the problem.  It’s the minutes that matter.  Kind of like quality, not quantity.  When those times come it makes sense to work out the difference between wants and needs.  Wanting something enough – like wishing with a pure heart – can sometimes bring to you what you desire, but there is no guarantee.  Wants are considered greedy, by some, it would seem.  They needn’t be seen that way.  Like wanting world peace – that is a worthy want, as is wanting food in your stomach every day.  Needs are considered more urgent than wants, usually, but this is not necessarily the every case.  I’d prefer to want world peace now than to be in a position where we NEED world peace now.  There is a distinct difference.

It is important to establish need priorities.  Remember, there are fundamental priorities that you perhaps neglect – like finding a place every single day where you can simply sit for a bit and feel safe.  Or perhaps giving yourself plenty of space to maintain your dream(s), to see another side to your life and build with it.  Those are basic needs and should be first on your priority list.  Once you have tended to your necessities you are in a better position to tend to the rest of everything that needs tending these days.

There are too many people on this planet whose needs are not being met.  What do they say?  When you take care of your employees, your employees will take care of your customers.  I think that should be the basic mission statement of every single company on this planet that considers itself to be a part of the ‘service industry’.  If you cannot provide the service for which you are charging people your business should be shut down and you should be blacklisted – end of story.  People have become too accepting of a lethargy in the marketplace, in life.  Like nothing or no one is worth any effort – that life is a chore.  That is not a good mindset – so make it change.

If you cannot be bothered to do whatever it is that you do to the best of your ability, then do not do it at all.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

I think I thought I am – Blog No. 43

24.11.15

Punctuate that.  See what every variation means to you.  Then describe how each meaning feels in your context.  Like you find the same 4 chords in most of the songs you can bring to mind.  And because some things do not run according to ABCDE, it does not mean they are chaotic.  Shuffle the letters around now and again and you get an interesting new perspective which teaches you to question.  In order to question, you first need to think – not to open your mouth the minute a thought pops into your head.  Manage your thinking, choose your thoughts.  If you know the answer, don’t ask stupid questions.  If you don’t – or are confused – then ask for sure.  Like asking whether you may or may not gives you at least a 50% chance of getting a yes.  If you don’t ask, then it is 100% no.  Those are good odds when you have both nothing – and everything – to lose.

Whether you are or are not is not a matter of public opinion, neither is it relative.  You are when you decide to be.  You do not require the approval of any family that lives vicariously through you, for instance.  You do not need anyone’s permission to be true to yourself.  Ever.  That is your gift to yourself, your authenticity.  Those who will inhibit your personal growth are neither authentic friends nor are they remotely trustworthy.  Their agendas are their own and can therefore be dispensed with.  Any hindrance to self-actualisation along the path you forge for your own feet must be viewed with suspicion.  And those that will heap the shame of ages upon the new generations need a fat slap.  Inexplicable shame is painful on every level, and it is confusing.  It stunts growth and it damages the innocence of children.  No child needs to carry for life lies that are not theirs’ to process.

A work ethic is an important aspect of yourself to foster, and nurture, whether or not you get paid or abused for what you do.  It speaks of your self-respect.  It speaks of your understanding that nothing in this life comes for nothing.  Karma sees to it that what you give of your capacity – however you define your capacity – you get.  If you are an advocate of Giveology, you will be a recipient of Getology.  Like chickens lay eggs, eggs do not lay chickens.  Developing a work ethic is a fairly personal process, but it is important to know that we are initially guided by the work ethic of those close to us, those that raise us.  The way you work should reflect your ambition, your competitive edge (without one you go nowhere) and your desire to build the kind of life you know you will be most inspired by.  Inspiration makes the impossible, possible.  It feeds the soul.  It allows you to persevere no matter your circumstance.  Stimulating your self is vital if you wish to get where you know you must go.  And if you do not know where you must go you need to find out what stimulates you.

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

I don’t answer to my slave name – Blog No. 42

I saw this today, written on a photo of Mystique from the X-Men.  It made me think and I think it should make us all think.  What – exactly – is in a name?  And what of every slave of old who was forced to carry his ‘owners’ surname as his own?  The families of those slaves still carry those names and I would imagine that they’d appreciate knowing their true heritage and the actual heritage of the name they hold.  I am not sure whether any of those slaves’ families ever considered themselves to be anything other than what they were to begin with but with the advent of labels many things on this planet changed.  Another thing that concerns me, how many of those slaves remembered to tell their grandchildren their real names?  Sadly, I am sure that many didn’t.  That is why DNA is so important – it can find us all our roots.  It cannot perhaps give original ‘names’ back to lost families, but it can make amends to their hearts.

Children need to understand where they came from.  And why.  If grandparents had to flee their homes and settled elsewhere for reasons of safety, then the family must remember that.  Therein lies great trauma that was probably never addressed.  That is what concerns me now about the Syrian refugee crisis.  That same basic terror is being perpetuated.  Myriad children are learning that the world which ‘houses’ them is not a safe place to be, nor is it filled with much humankindness.  That – for any child – is absolutely terrifying.  Children need three basic things – something to eat, a safe home in which to live, and to know that they are loved.  If as a parent you can provide for your children even one of those gifts, it is a good start.  When you can offer your children none of those – why have children?  And saying ‘I love you’ to a child – or anyone in fact – without any real sentiment carrying the words does not convey to them anything other than a lie.  If you will lie to your child – why have one?

It is important to know that a lot of people that live in sunny countries have a vitamin D deficiency.  This is because they wear too much sunscreen.  Go into the sun in safe hours and supplement your system with nature, just don’t sit in the sun at noon without expecting some serious sunburn.  A vitamin D deficiency is not healthy.  Neither is a vitamin B deficiency.  And did you know?  A flame does not have a shadow.  Unless you shine a torch on it.  Then, it might.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Once upon a Sunday – Blog No. 41

Since Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest, it is a good day to set aside for dreaming.  That is not to say that dreaming can only be done when you are resting, it just means that the quality of dreams nurtured at rest will be better than those managed whilst you are on the hop.  Every day I dream for a new tomorrow.  Every single day, without fail.  On shit days I spend my time dreaming about what I have that does not exist in this world.  That kind of dreaming takes a lot of focus and given that the dream itself is a beautiful construct, no matter how bleak the hours get it fills my heart and my head with hope.  And Love.  On good days, I dream into this world.  It just depends.  I can’t say whether I prefer dreaming out, or dreaming in.  Perhaps dreaming into this world is more satisfying because living day to day is an actual experience, happening, and it can be decisively influenced by our dreams.  Dreams become your actuality if you allow them to manifest themselves, real.  Dreams can only become reality, however, when you know who you are and you have the stamina and the passion to follow yourself into the future you have built.  Dreaming for the past is not only a pointless pastime, it is a waste of time.  The past is done with.  It is not on next year’s agenda, for instance, so do not entertain it when you decide to choose your dreams.  Dreams take your worlds forwards – remember that.  These days they are about the only things that do.  Also remember to dream a special dream for all those whom you love.  Dreaming for yourself, alone, is selfish and greedy – especially when you are good at dreaming.  In any case, what you wish for yourself you should wish for all of humankind.  The minute you decide you are deserving of greater dreams than your fellow men is the moment you alienate yourself entirely from humanity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Policy for the future – Blog No. 40

  1.  Read the Rule Book.  Of course one exists.
  2.  Take heed of rules 1 through 21 before throwing the Rule Book away.  Then throw yourselves away because I do not need you.
  3. 2 was recently disqualified and is therefore obsolete.  1 is dead, as expected.  3, therefore, moves to 1.  The proviso was this:  if 1 chooses to go first, 2 will not follow.  Incidentally, nor does 3.  If you went in on 2, good for you.  That was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
  4. A series of pairs.  4 sets of 2.  Without every single aspect of every single 8 you will fail.  Be careful what you summons.  It might be yourself.
  5. Had an agenda that it thought was cleverly set aside.  It wasn’t.  It was another set of stupid Stepford wives selling a soul that was never theirs’ to begin with.
  6. Flipped and was then dragged backwards through the eye of a needle.  It is yet to register the extent of the threading.
  7. Has Heaven.  That is the way it should be.  Heaven was not made into a reformatory for the sake of Hell’s angels.  Hell can well hold its own.  Heaven was reformed for one reason alone:  to extend the longevity of its own lie.  Its facility was recently emptied and shut down when God discovered its inhabitants were complicit in Earth’s suffering.
  8. An hourglass, half empty and running.  It will not be refilled, or turned over.
  9. A thrice of triangles, spliced.  I hope all three are pleased.  It is their dream, this savagery.  I trust they can dream themselves into Elysium, too.
  10. The usual place.  That would be where – The Cupboard?  I do not like sitting in a cupboard, so I am moving.
  11. Two halves of a pupating caterpillar.  The entire butterfly is yet to manifest as real.  And 2 tens do not make 20.  Not in this instance.  In this instance, two 10’s make 1.
  12. Pleads the 5th so awaits the same fate.
  13. Is certain.
  14. Love is a love, is a love.
  15. Found a form of freedom.
  16. Is not loyal.  It is rather a reminder of the company we are sometimes obliged to keep.
  17. Will throw the Rule Book at you whether or not you have read it.  And then he will move on.
  18. Has been around this block before.  It knows the landmarks well.
  19. Sleeps with eyes wide shut.
  20. Is empty.
  21. 1:21.  Make that fit any goddamned verse you like.  21 is not religious and the choice to be – or not to be – is his prerogative.

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs

Boredom – Blog No. 39

Good_and_Evil

‘Boredom finds work for the Devil’s hands’.  I think the bible says something like that.  I think the Devil also gets hairs on his hands whenever you masturbate.  That is basically what we know about the Devil.  The rest – I do believe he is yet to tell us himself.  I think his MO has changed.  As has his HO.  I know that after a time any Devil gets tired of being demonised and decides to move on to pastures greener.  Before he moves on though, he is sure to leave his reputation behind him so that it can precede him.  That way, from the other side he can get busy being objective instead of scaring people.  He can see the damage having a reputation does in the first place and he can meet it head-on when it comes, with his truth.  No one else cares what the Devil’s truth is, so in that he is fortunate.  Extremely so.  He can build on it in peace without having to impact the opinions of idiots.  With the Devil the first thing to learn is to expect the unexpected.  When you are expecting the expected he will deliver to you your expectations.  Instead, if you trust that even the most monstrous war-mongering and blood-thirsty demon that was stuffed down the Devil’s throat in Purgatory has another name by which it goes then you will know that even the Devil had a specific job to do and deserves his retirement.  One thing about the Devil that you should be certain about – however you wish to perceive him – is that he leaves the places he ends up cleaner than when he found them.  His tendency towards cleanliness – on the one hand – is obsessively compulsive.  His motivation is not entirely altruistic, however.  He does enjoy a tidy household, but he cleans with an added insight.  He knows that when he enters Heaven, finally, to rest, it will have been left completely empty.  So he leaves Hell the same way he would like to find Heaven.  As if it is expecting visitors.  Incidentally, I don’t believe the Devil – with the list of shit he is supposed to be responsible for – would have time to be even remotely bored.  Therefore – boredom does not find work for the Devil’s hands.  I am not sure whose hands ‘boredom’ does find a use for, but be sure whatever, whomever:  blood never washes out.

And that then begs the question:  for whose hands does boredom ‘make’ work?

Being bored is supposed to be some sort of sin.  An abomination of human Nature, inconceivable in a ‘world like ours’ so we must pretend it doesn’t exist.  Boredom exists.  It is a waste of potential energy.  The more you do, the more you will find that you can do; a simple antidote providing you are doing those things that you love to do.  If you are being battery-farmed for an enterprise in which you have no faith, no wonder you encounter boredom – and usually, unproductivity.  The energy needed to get and be busy doing something that bores you takes more out of you than the work itself does, but temporary boredom must not thwart you.  Just find yourself a new job.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogs