Tag Archives: tools

Understanding – Blog No. 22

understandingIt is an interesting thought.  How do you convey an understanding?  That is some skill, when you can do that effectively.  It is a skill we are all learning, all the time.  It is about being skilled in communication.  However you choose to do that.  Understanding is visceral.  You can feel it.  How do you confer a feeling?  First you must understand the feeling before you can attempt to share it.  When you hear a truth, remember that you do not need to remind yourself to remember it for the future, when you hear a truth it sinks right in.  You have to do nothing more than hear it.  Hearing is not the same as listening.  Also, it is best if you do not start trying to fight the truth with reason – man’s reason ought not be valued as much as it is in this world.  It tries with its noise to out-shout others whose opinions are more valuable.

It is said that love means understanding a person’s position when they wrong you, treat you badly.  Instead of lashing out, you stand back and you consider what pain the person must be in.  Pain governs a great deal of bad behaviour and oftentimes deserves empathy.  This can be challenging.  Of course, should the person treating you badly simply be an arsehole, then take yourself out of their equation.  In life there is really little point in surrounding yourself with arseholes, do not allow yourself to become one, either.  It is a choice.

To share an understanding with another is a beautiful thing indeed.  Your understandings will guide you in life.  They guide very effectively when you have them accessible, your understandings lead you to ever-new perceptions about people, times, places.  Fresh perceptions are necessary in life.  They inspire you.  When you understand something new, or you understand a thing differently to the way you understood it before, you give yourself tools with which to work your life around you.  It is worth taking time to understand a thing, things.  Tools come in a variety of shapes, and sizes.

 

 

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Protection – Blog No. 17

av-protectionDo we all have the same psychology when it comes to seeking protection?  Is the drive of an asylum-seeker the same as the tendency a child has to hide behind its parents’ legs?  Are women entering into marriages sold in catalogues because the prospect of a new life – a better life with a man that’s buying – outweighs the thought of having to sell yourself to get there?  Perhaps the illusion of safety is what causes many women to marry men they really should not be marrying.  Men, after all, are the protectors.  They have always been the protectors.  Some men are cut out for this kind of work.  Others are not.  Choose wisely what you need in a partner – both men and women should choose carefully – and remember that you do not need to marry the first person you become involved with or become familiar with.  You cannot even begin to appreciate a person until you have learned who it is that they are.  That learning does not take three minutes.

You cannot find a mould that men ‘ought’ to fit in this day and age, their role is varied.  There are providers and protectors, there are hands-on dads and house-husbands.  There are workaholics and sugar-daddies.  There are a lot of men dealing with women who have daddy issues.  Perhaps the women with daddy issues were deprived of that ‘protected’ feeling as children.  Perhaps theirs’ were absent fathers.  Shy fathers.  Scared fathers.  Aggressive fathers.  The balance in society is out.  There are too many females seeking protection in a world whose hard currency is women.  If ever there was a catch 22, that is it.  That means women need to become stronger still, work smarter.  This world is in flux and those who do not change with it stand to lose their futures.

Women are entitled to protect themselves from every kind of abuse.  How they do that is their enterprise.  Men are as entitled as women are, to protect themselves.  It is vital to know that you cannot make vulnerable a person who stands for themselves.  Standing for yourself is like suiting up in armour.  It is an act of courage.  A wise idea.  When you get to a place where you expect ultimate protection from none other than yourself and the tools made available to you, you are stronger than any abuser, any violator’s tactics.  Do not allow yourself to be belittled, no matter who you are.  Protect yourself from others’ bitterness and protect yourself from becoming a mere number here on Earth.  There is more to life than being a number.

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