Do we all have the same psychology when it comes to seeking protection? Is the drive of an asylum-seeker the same as the tendency a child has to hide behind its parents’ legs? Are women entering into marriages sold in catalogues because the prospect of a new life – a better life with a man that’s buying – outweighs the thought of having to sell yourself to get there? Perhaps the illusion of safety is what causes many women to marry men they really should not be marrying. Men, after all, are the protectors. They have always been the protectors. Some men are cut out for this kind of work. Others are not. Choose wisely what you need in a partner – both men and women should choose carefully – and remember that you do not need to marry the first person you become involved with or become familiar with. You cannot even begin to appreciate a person until you have learned who it is that they are. That learning does not take three minutes.
You cannot find a mould that men ‘ought’ to fit in this day and age, their role is varied. There are providers and protectors, there are hands-on dads and house-husbands. There are workaholics and sugar-daddies. There are a lot of men dealing with women who have daddy issues. Perhaps the women with daddy issues were deprived of that ‘protected’ feeling as children. Perhaps theirs’ were absent fathers. Shy fathers. Scared fathers. Aggressive fathers. The balance in society is out. There are too many females seeking protection in a world whose hard currency is women. If ever there was a catch 22, that is it. That means women need to become stronger still, work smarter. This world is in flux and those who do not change with it stand to lose their futures.
Women are entitled to protect themselves from every kind of abuse. How they do that is their enterprise. Men are as entitled as women are, to protect themselves. It is vital to know that you cannot make vulnerable a person who stands for themselves. Standing for yourself is like suiting up in armour. It is an act of courage. A wise idea. When you get to a place where you expect ultimate protection from none other than yourself and the tools made available to you, you are stronger than any abuser, any violator’s tactics. Do not allow yourself to be belittled, no matter who you are. Protect yourself from others’ bitterness and protect yourself from becoming a mere number here on Earth. There is more to life than being a number.
Stress can kill you. Easily. Take it on at your peril. Whether it is relationship stress, work stress, parenting stress or a personal stress – know that it is not good for you. Your body – your muscles – retain stress for years and years. Massage – strong massage – is one way to eradicate stored stress in the body. Exercise, clearly, is another. If you should leave unattended the stress that living your life has generated, it will mutate into disease and it will harm your body. It is a given. You can speak your stresses free. People should understand that they do not tell themselves enough about what is going on in life. Silence – when it comes to yourself, your person – is non-productive. If you cannot give yourself clues about how to run your life, then what help are you to yourself, the world?
Half the stress in our days is generated by our doing other than what we should be doing. There are very few people on this planet – when you consider that there are about 7 billion of us – that love what they do for a living. There are too many people following the mentality of the previous generations. What are they doing? Every single generation must think differently. You have to think in the now. This world is not like it was, then. If you cannot align your thinking with the way this planet works these days then you are at a disadvantage to begin with. To become aligned, you need to accept that there is a lot of hate and a lot of hurt in our world.
Animals feel stress. They feel pain, love, terror, hate. Only those animals trained to fight and do stupid tricks for humans, learn hate. Cruelty and abuse break their spirit. In the wild, animals do not know hate. Animals just get each other – in fact far better than people do, as humans. Each type of animal accepts its place in the scheme of things. They use each other when the need arises. They are not usually shitty about it. They eat each other and they breed with each other, they co-exist in the ecosystem. They play with life and they survive, they are not cruel. They are not greedy – they are not human.
This world is over-populated. Use contraception in any shape or form. That is the first fact to get into your head. The second, is that birthing more than two children in this day and age is not just irresponsible, it is selfish. How many times must you duplicate yourself in this world? It is immaterial how much money you have. If you love children enough to want ten, then adopt for god’s sake. Do you know how many children do not have families on this planet? What can they learn of Earth? Theirs’ will be an emptiness within that will be very hard to fill. If you cannot cope with the idea of adopting – and some people do not want to bring up another’s progeny – that is fine, but do not flood the world with your seed. Men must update their thinking – more is not more. Less is more for 2013 and beyond. If you cannot conceive, you do not rush to the hospital for IVF treatment. You wait and you see what Nature has in store for you. Why force her hand, time and again? Who do you think you are, demanding of her with your impatience? Do you not think she – of all – knows best? Do you not think she is measuring your bodies for success? Of course she is. She is waiting for the perfect time. Each time you conceive unnaturally you are missing that window. Her pace is that of patience, as a guide in life you cannot hope to find better. If you want a child more than anything in the world, then you know as well as the next person that any child will do for you the same job. That is important to understand.
Children love unconditionally for a very long time. Their capacity for forgiveness – if that is even what it is to them – is humbling to see as a human being. It is sad to think about how many times an abused child will try to make sense of what ‘love’ is. They will forgive time and again without question, in pursuit of love. That is what a child is born expecting to be shown. Love. Remember – if they are damaged children, they will have to be taught what love is. You cannot expect a child who has been kicked around or fostered in five abusive families to function normally. That would be insane. That is why social services in every country in the world needs more money to do the job they are trying to do. We need to take the problem out before it happens. Also, you cannot move a child every five minutes and hope they will be well-adjusted to function in society at the end of it all. You are affecting their sense of identity when you change their environment. Appreciate that if you move a child from school to school, and/or house to house, you are forcing them to rely on change as a constant. This can be a risky business. If you pile the witnessing of domestic abuse on top of that and/or substance abuse, you are showing the child that violence is acceptable and/or that addiction is a potential path to follow. Addiction to anything is not recommended, food included. A lot of people are addicted to food and refuse to admit it. That is no different to many alcoholics sitting at the AA. Whether their ‘Twelve Steps’ is what to take from their ministering I can’t say, but I have heard that following God up the steps is required. That all makes sense if you believe there is a God. There are a lot of alcoholics who do not think there is a God. This reality should be taken into consideration.
The church should really swallow its contraception and abortion arguments. It is time. If it cannot swallow its pride on this and give real ground as well as ideological ground as an institution then it is failing its followers. It is choice that humans seek, not strict governance by a set of backward rules. The Catholics in particular can reshuffle their policies, their celibacy laws have bred abuse and paedophilia and their issue with contraception is going to lose them followers faster than the revelation of their true wealth. The Catholics must be called upon to explain why they have so much of this planet’s land under their belts. They need to free up space, they need to sell on and move out. The poor need houses. The church can sell their properties and pay for the housing. That is what any charitable institute would do. And a humble religion – which all religions aspire to be, surely – will have a humble portfolio. I think the Catholics need to show their willingness to really help the people change the state of their planet. How else can they redeem themselves? Alms, are alms.
How do you prevent yourself from morphing into that most heinous of beasts; the cause of boredom? That bore that comes of common complacency, and the bore that you become to yourself when you refuse to use your life for the purpose it was built? Your life was built for your self-expression. If you fail to express yourself – anywhichwayhow you can manage it – you fail at your core purpose. Self-expression and self-esteem are inextricably linked – do not forget that.
Boring is tiring. It is a decimator. Boring is adhering religiously – yes, religiously – to a certain set of circumspect rules that you allow to govern your life. You should stand up for yourself more. You should stand up to yourself more. We’re tyrants. Each one of us. That is perhaps no comforting thought, but it is fact. When you learn to meet and greet frequently your menace you will find yourself more able – and better-equipped – to face your demons. Demons are in fact not as terrifying as we make them out to be to ourselves. They all have their reasons, they all have a message to share. It is in watching their behaviour(s) that you will find resolution, if you choose to use their (very manageable) resources to your benefit. Again – that choice is up to you. Deny that you have demons and I will laugh.
Back to boring. Boredom. A low boredom threshold is not a sign or symbol of a maladjusted human being. It is the sign of someone who will not tolerate mediocrity in either their own lives, or those of the people they allow to influence their days. We all allow someone to influence our days. A friend, a dead someone, an abusive memory made by one of the ego-tamers in our lives. We all meet those – and believe me, we need them. Ego-tamers are like gifts from the gods. Learn to recognise them for who they are and celebrate their attention. Ensure that you do not confuse an ego-tamer with an abuser. They are very different creatures.
In some cultures, respect is an intrinsic part of an everyday. It permeates every action, word, deed. Other cultures cannot spell the word. I think this imbalance is having a major impact on the stability of our world. Respect is taught to children. It is taught, it is not inherited. As is accountability. You show respect in order to teach respect. Particularly to children. Are you aware that by the age of three a child has developed a significant part of its moral make-up? It learns from what it sees. By three, a child’s values are established and it has garnered important life skills that will assist or hinder it on its journey to adulthood. That means children are to be treated with care. Some cultures currently do not understand this. Try to remember that the world you promote to a child is the world they will believe exists. It is not easy to change early impressions.
Every child that is abused or exploited is a child destroyed. Every childhood destroyed, is sacrilege. The value of the purity contained in the true experience of growing up should not be overlooked. The value of proper nurturing by parents should not be overlooked, either. The true experience for a child is about preserving the innocence for as long as you can. Importantly, preserving innocence is never about lying to a child. It is about protecting a child from the adult content of our world.
It is a serious failing that we have as many broken children on this planet as we do. Too many children have seen too much, too soon. For the particular crime of child abuse (emotional, physical, circumstantial or spiritual) – for it is a crime against Nature to damage a child – there is no absolution. Your karma and your end of days will teach you just how frowned upon cruelty to children is. Remember that in our time a childhood is short. That is how it is. Life moves quickly for us all. I see a problem in that there are no halcyon days for a great many children in this world of ours. In a world as adept as this we should not allow our governments to sidestep this issue. They must allocate more funding to social services. They must train more social workers and pay them properly to do the jobs that can make a difference to a child’s life. The world needs more volunteers who wish to heal hurt children. The warring nations of this world need to take accountability for destroying their own children with their pointless vendettas and stop blaming peacemakers for their lost youth. To teach hatred to a child is child abuse. Israel should think about that. Hamas should think about that. Syria should take note and Osama bin Laden’s lost followers should stop brainwashing themselves and martyring innocents.
I think the global community must be more concerned about what is going on in its front garden. A childhood can never be reclaimed. As such, each one should be treasured by the adults – us – for the sake of the small person who is learning its way in our big world and for the sake of the adult that that child will become. It is simple. If respect is not shown for you, for your innocence as a child, you will find it difficult as an adult to reconcile respect for yourself with an everyday. You will learn how to disrespect your inner child as an adult and this has dire consequences.
Assess yourself. Recognise that the wounded child in you demands respect. And yes, we all have one. If you missed a childhood or were not taught respect when you were younger then teach yourselves what it is now. Do this by watching others respect you. If others do not respect you, it is because they have seen no reason to do so. That is often hard to accept. If you care, accept it and give them reason. If you do not care, you are on the wrong planet. You will feel better for some respect. Perhaps it is most important to remember that it is necessary to nurture respect in yourself and others because it is fundamental to love. And without love, we cannot fix the broken children, or adults, in this world. The responsibility is ours.
The Asians have been abusing bears for 2000 years. It is time for them to change their ways. They have been live-farming bear bile and using it as a medicine to treat various feeble ailments, including hemorrhoids and sore throats, bruises. It is an inhuman practice. The cages housing the bears are cramped and the creatures live out their days unable to move around, being drained of their bile. They are used as a sustainable resource. Despite the trade in bile being illegal, about 13 000 bears are currently being exploited on bile farms across Asia.
The wild animals – sun bears, moon bears and brown bears – are trapped or bred into captivity and kept in deplorable conditions. They are kept alone, captive and in pain. A permanent metal catheter is inserted through a cut in the abdomen into the gall bladder and the bile is bled off into a plastic bag, or the bear wears a ‘full jacket’ which extracts the bile into a box worn by the bear. All the extraction techniques are human inventions and they are barbaric. These bears have a life-expectancy of five years, after that their ‘productivity’ starts to wane and they are killed off for their whole gall bladders, their paws and their skulls, teeth. What kind of life is that to afford a fellow living, breathing creature? How can we call these people humans? Really. I battle to make the correlation. A human being should have a natural conscience. A human being should not have the desire to visit pain upon another living creature to procure profit. The trade in exotic animals is as heinous. I think the men behind these thieving agencies that supply the demand should be taken out of the equation altogether. The Global Watchdog (there should be one, the UN does not count) should storm Asia and close down all the bile farms. The tree frogs and frilly-necked lizards that are snatched from their jungles in Indonesia and shipped worldwide should be illegal to own. It should be illegal to possess an exotic pet. That includes pythons, they are high on the hit list, too.
When is man going to stop this plunder? Bears in Asia are on the vulnerable list, the poaching and unregulated hunting is taking its toll on their numbers. The numbers continue to shrink, the bears live in unbearably cruel conditions and the rhino (whose horn has NO medicinal properties, incidentally) is seriously threatened by a trade in ancient folklore. I think it is time the rest of the world realised that what an Asian person chooses to believe is of huge consequence. These people have arcane belief systems and nature is paying for their ignorance. Can someone please educate Asia? There has to be a change.