Author Archives: C.J. Birch

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About C.J. Birch

I was born on Thursday 13th July 1972 in Harare, Zimbabwe, to an English father and a South African mother. I was christened Catherine Jane Birch and - from the outset - I've been inquisitive about most of life's elemental questions; its myriad paradoxes and unpredictable anomalies, their sources, solutions and their propensity for unmitigated change. From a very young age I was captured by the enigmatic life process, the challenge of living and what it 'means' to be alive. I spent countless invaluable hours in nature, watching the world at its work. I had a fascination for everything around me, curious about what things were, how and why they worked, what they represented in relation to one another. I began writing at the age of 5. Journals, stories and poetry, illustrations, have been a constantly evolving source of quiet self-reflection, expansive expression throughout my life. I'm fortunate to have travelled many miles, to have visited a variety of differing destinations and though I've learned a lot about life in the last 50 years, my questions about its complexities are neverending. I currently live in the south-east of England, having returned to the United Kingdom after a particularly harrowing period of 7 allegedly 'invisible' or 'non-existent' years of absolute hell in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. I've decided to erase those memories, altogether. My 15-year-old son lives in Switzerland, with his father.
16 Oct 2013 · 14:08

The Circus: Part Three – Blog No. 78

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For children The Circus has a special matinee performance.
At noon. This is when the cowboys come out.
All real circuses have cowboys.
They ride side-saddle, backwards. Standing.
Their horses do not overly mind the small galloping circle.
Three generations of performers born in captivity.
So they did not forget. They never knew.
Sometimes the horses would love to buck off the cowboy, ruin his show.
They are cheeky like that. They know their power.
Their breeding.
The horses are glad for their blinkers. They keep the noise of people out.
The horses know their moves. They cruise through their routine.
The cowboys tip-toe up and down their spines spinning lasso.
The horses laugh at the prancing men and dream of saving the tigers.

The girls in gold glitter g-strings get everyone’s attention.
The bored men straighten their backs for a better view.
Look.
Black feathers, corsets, suspenders. Heels.
Red lips.
Tits everywhere. Bonus.
Jesus. Those matching backsides.
Where is the wife looking? Not at me. Nor are the kids.
Heaven.
The one on the far right is hot, hot, hot.
Nice thighs.
Very, very nice. She would look good bent over the bonnet.
Oh no. Boner.
It’s been three weeks. And that is some faceful of lady.
Nod, for fuck’s sake. She is watching you watching.
What? A Coke? Now?
Yessss. Escape.

The trapeze artists watch from the wings the goings-on in the audience.
Theirs’ is the show that comes on after the glamour-girls finish.
It is as popular. Flying people are compelling.
The opening contortionists that unwind themselves from the shadows at the top of the tent
are not called ‘aerial silk’ for nothing.
Their display is a tale: red/orange/yellow/green/blue/indigo/violet
and people read the way they ride ribbons in their sequinned spirals, stretches, spins,
telling the story of The Circus’ evolution.
The trapeze artists have an opening act. Theirs’ is the evolution.
In fact, trapeze artists can smile these days.
Circus politics have begun to change in their favour.
Respect is now being given where it is due.
Theirs’ has become a kind of autonomy in the ranks.
Even the ringmaster stops what he does to watch them fly.
They enjoy their daredevil status. It is years’ worth of work.
As before, they brought their skill to the table, the trapeze artists. Nothing more.
Nothing more was needed.

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15 Oct 2013 · 11:09

The Circus: Part Two – Blog No. 77

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If you think the acrobats have time to consider their state of mind before they fly,
you are underestimating the freedom they find in flight.
They do not need to consider such things. They understand trust.
If you think like an acrobat you will find that your head stays silent, awed, whilst you work.
It knows its place.
If you feel like an acrobat, that is your business. Your body – your trained senses – are your business.
Trust the bearings your body gives you.
Trust your senses to tell you one side of the story.
Let your perception tell you a second.
Trust instinct – the Knowing – to show you a third.
That way, your performance will be flawless.
Acrobats are made for flawless performances.

The tiger is sick of sitting in his own piss and stink. That is no way to treat majesty.
And when does the stupid act he does buy him back the wild?
It had better be soon. He is tired of sitting in a small cage measuring man’s promise.
He is bored of wowing ignorant children
for the sake of their careless parents.
The flaming-hoop story is old.  Tired.  It passes the time.
The tiger is so bored it could die.
It accepts – and hates – in equal measure.
Who dares put the grizzly bear in a ruffled pink skirt on a tricycle, and then laugh, invite laughter?
Who does that for his living? The tiger smiles.
The same man who chases the elephants around in little hats. The tiger chuckles.
It is not wise to push the elephants.

The time is coming to shoot the clown out of the cannon.
He has a safety net. No one is scared.
Perhaps it would be funnier another way.
The clowns fight behind the scenes. They suffer petty jealousies and hangovers, from before.
The clowns hold grudges. They play favourites; poker.
None of them are good losers.
It is time for the clowns to get new clothes.
Their uniforms are worn.
The budget was cut last year. Again.
Clowns’ outfits are not a priority in the new one.
They grumble at the pecking order.
No one cares about the clowns.
They are right.
Their act would not be missed, were it axed.
Think about it.
They are a distraction to the main event, a time-filler.
Hardly an act.

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14 Oct 2013 · 12:05

Peace (and quiet) – Blog No. 76

quote-never-for-the-sake-of-peace-and-quiet-deny-your-own-experience-or-convictions-dag-hammarskjold-78635Would you expect peace in Utopia?  Would you assume it to be a wholly peaceful place?  I think it is better never to assume anything, no matter how well you may have convinced yourself that you know what is best in a particular situation.  There is always someone who knows better than you do.  I have learnt that lesson in life and I trust its consistency.  The trick is to find that person.  Does Utopia – or Elysium, Heaven, a harem of 1000 virgins, Paradise, etc – exist for you?  Even just in your dreams?  Does it mean to you perfect, or does it mean ideal?  You need to define these things for yourself before you can set about finding yours.  That yours is the same as mine – or the next person’s – is a possibility, but this is doubtful in a world this self sufficient.  We each have a private ideal, a personal state of perfection that we (ought) to be striving towards.  It depends on how you view perfection as to how your Utopian odyssey will unfold.  Your journey is ongoing, you will find yourself there, in time.  It just takes time.

The way to peace is to educate.  Ask Malala Yousafzai, support her cause with $10 a month if you do not yet do anything for your world.  What is $10 worth in your world?  Encourage your children to support a worthy cause – let them learn the value of compassion.  Teach them that it is important to give something back when you have more than others do and teach them this through your example.  It is more and more apparent in these everydays that our children are very capable of understanding the meaning behind an action, a behaviour – i.e. a motivation.  Do not take from them this facility.  Nourish it, them.  Let them learn empathy, through affection.  It will get them far in life.

In pursuit of peace (and quiet) it is your responsibility as an adult to demonstrate your true nature in front of children.  They see straight through an act and besides, they learn assertion.  Let them read your truth because this is how you show a child respect for their time.  Their assessment.  Letting them know your weaknesses as well as your strengths is not a failure, it is a clued-up move.  Apologise when you shout, curse.  Explain if you cry.  If you curse under your breath, that counts.  Saying sorry says hey – it is human to make mistakes.  Life is dramatic – there is no getting away from that reality.  If you think it is not then you need to open your eyes and notice for once (in a very long while) its colour.  Colour brings pain, mind you.  Moderate that pain.  It is vital for children to realise through your demonstration the real of this world we live in.  It is an exercise in strengthening, stretching their emotional intelligence.  Please recognise a child’s emotional intelligence when you spot it.  The more equipped children are to handle themselves (in any situation that presents itself), the more stable their end life-view is going to be.  Children do not think in infinities.  They need an end view that is stable – whatever that stability entails.  Theirs’ can be surprisingly flexible, their stability – it depends what keeps them happy.  Children have extraordinary capacity and they will instinctively stretch themselves.  Let them.  What is necessary to know is that it is essential that a child develops a life-view that perpetually fires up new synapses with excitement.  Children should laugh a lot and they should be shown a great deal in their lives, as well as a good example.  If you cannot show them a good example – you will need to trust that your child will role-model on the dominant adult in the vicinity who sets best that example.  An example.  If you cannot trust that your child will know right from wrong, then you have a problem.

And if you do not know who Malala Yousafzai is, perhaps you should.  She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize one day.

 

 

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27 Sep 2013 · 11:28

Magick – Blog No. 75

28300When you take the time to understand that there is a difference between magic and magick you will be able to appreciate the wonder of both.  You will find that if you invest time in appreciating the magick that is happening all around you all day, every day, you will become properly alive inside yourself.  This is not a scary prospect – it is like a caterpillar in a chrysalis.  You will become the best you are meant to be.  Do not ever forget that this takes due process.  Becoming your best is a long journey.  If you have stamina you should undertake this journey.  If you do not – that is a shame.  You are missing out.

You have to show gratitude for Nature’s magick in order that she allows its properties to transform you, your life.  You must appreciate her mastery.  She is very, very adept.  Treasure that there is no other that will understand you like she does.  She is you.  From this you can draw comfort.  You have no need to hide from her your ‘sins’.  She understands the nature of man.  And she understands very well the nature of woman, too.  She is familiar with wiles and manipulation.  She does not employ either method in her operation but she accepts that others, do.  That there is yet conflict between the sexes about who is Alpha what is not helpful.  There is always an Alpha female and an Alpha male in Nature’s equation.  Always.  The energy of both.  Bringing together – in harmony – those energies, is where she is headed.  That her work along the way is changing the lay of the land is a reality we should really learn to accept without raising too much objection.  Her motivation is pure.  She is already everywhere that matters.

Magic itself is black, white.  Coloured.  Musical.  Cinematic.  There is no grey area where magic is concerned.  Magic works.  Do not for one moment doubt that fact.  Magic trades secrets in deep, dark belief.  Trust.  You know how a strong belief can save your life?  Or kill you?  Easy.  If you are interested in the at-work aspects of magic and its happenings you must visit voodoo and you must visit ritual, you must hear your heartbeat and you must suspend disbelief for a period long enough to give your inner cynic a chance to keep quiet and learn.  The cynic is entitled to its opinion but it is not invited to share it.  When you next see love in action – and this is not hard to see if you know where to look – know that magick is happening, right there in front of your eyes.  Magick comes to us each when we are primed, open, and ready to receive it.

Open.  Receive it.

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23 Sep 2013 · 13:51

Temperament – Blog No. 74

553595-24219-18What is your temperament?  Do you like who it is that you are?  If you should like yourself some of the time, that is a start.  If you like who you are a great deal – yours is the right space.  You cannot like yourself when you behave badly, try as you might.  Your knowing, your moral fortitude will not allow you to.  If you have no moral compass, it must be said that no one can help you.  A moral compass (or the lack of one) is inherent.  Remember, too, that it is your choice how you behave – not another’s.  Another’s bad behaviour towards you is not permission for you to act like an arsehole.  Try not to let yourself drop your standards – or your guard – in the name of petty retaliation.  Choose your reactions; ensure that they suit the occasion.

You can lie to your heart’s content, you can make excuses for yourself and your short-comings, you can find reasons to justify your bad behaviour.  All of this is possible – and very do-able.  We all do it and we are all good at it.  Have you heard how adept you are at justifying your actions so that you can feel less responsible for bad behaviour?  It is natural to try and allocate blame somewhere – or delegate it – the need is almost instinctive.  It takes a dedicated human being to treat blame as your own bedfellow.  How often do you sit with yourself and accept responsibility for your strained relations with others, your rudeness, your intolerance?  How often will you apologise for your misdemeanours?  And I am talking about apologising to yourself, as well as to others.

Your temperament is not only your nature.  It is not just your personality.  It is your whole, your calling card in this world.  It is the reason people will find you attractive, or not.  It is why you will be successful, or not.  If you have a shit temperament, do something about it.  Your reactions are within your power.  Each of them.  If you do not like how you behave in certain situations – either avoid putting yourself in those situations or transform the way you feel about what is happening to you.  You change your viewpoint – particularly when it comes to the how and why of your behaviour(s) – and you change the way you are perceived in this world.  That can make all the difference.

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17 Sep 2013 · 12:04

Support – Blog No. 73

earth dayIf you have no support of any sort from any person other than yourself, yours is a very challenging existence.  To have the support of another human being, group of human beings, validates your life experience.  It is good to know that somebody cares.  Know that when you are in need of support, it is best to ask for it.  This is not easy for many people – there are a lot of us who find it difficult to ask for help.  Occasionally you will come across a person who offers you support without expecting anything in return.  This is a precious gift.  Receive it with grace if it should come to you.

If you are not feeling particularly useful at the moment, try being supportive to someone.  It will make a difference in their life.  Instead of standing and watching a person struggling, step in and take their hand.  Lift them with a kind word, an observation.  Sometimes people just need to know that someone can see their strife.  Burdens shared – and face it, we all have burdens to carry – are loads lightened.  Be aware of how much support you are prepared to offer.  Do not get caught in the trap of becoming someone’s crutch.  Taking someone else’s life-load on is not advisable.  Not only is it cruel – it takes away the liver’s ability to make decisions that will change their fate – it is counter-productive to your own progress.  You do not get anywhere on your life path by trying to bend straight another’s days.

Know that Nature supports you.  She supports your every move.  She listens, she hears.  You should speak aloud your heart’s desires.  They are not only for thinking about.  They are for realising.  Your human nature makes it possible for you to reach and live your dreams.  You just have to need them enough.  There are many wasted dreams lying in piles of want.  Want does not always get.  Need doesn’t either, but need drives you harder than want does and this makes success more likely.  Make sure you know what you need in your life.  Do not accept that your needs are less important than another’s needs.  Your wants, yes.  They are perhaps less important than the wants of others.  Needs need to be met.  Make their acquaintance.  Take their demands seriously.  Show support for their cause.

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13 Sep 2013 · 10:15

The Brokenhearted – Blog No. 72

broken-heart-syndromeTrust that it is necessary to have your heart broken at least once in this life.  It need not be a relationship breakdown that brings it on, it could be your cat getting squashed by a car.  A death in the family.  It could be that you feel brokenhearted because the world is in the state it is.  It depends how deep your feelings go.  When your heart is broken, you are forced into a confrontation with yourself.  You are wounded and you are not happy.  The conversations you will have with yourself will be filled with self-pity and usually you respond to the call of victim for a time.  Be sure that it is only for a time.

The broken heart heals if you allow it to.  When it is permitted to thrash around in agony it works its pain out the way it knows how.  Let it.  This is the best way.  Your emotions will take the hit, but that can be managed.  A broken heart hurts.  It is a physical ache, a mental torture.  A spiritual strengthening.  A broken heart does not forget how to love.  Ever.  It just struggles to adjust to the idea that its sharing is going to have to be with somebody new.  It is hard to let go of the old to make space for the new.  In fact that is one of this life’s biggest challenges.  Falling out of love with someone is not the end of the world.  Recognising the truth of the matter, is.  A love lost breaks a heart, every time.  A broken heart comes with sadness.  Sadness is heavy and it decimates your being, but it has to be felt and it has to be worked through.  You cannot ignore it.  Remember that sadness will stay with you as long as it can.  It is up to you to decide when the time is over for its punishment.

The healed heart will carry scars.  This is not serious.  Each scar, a love.  How can that be bad news?  Celebrate the loves you have had in your life.  You will know which have been loves and which have not.  Try not to hate people you once loved.  That is not productive.  It is your responsibility to remind yourself why you loved them once upon a time.  That reason – those reasons – must be enough to prevent you from regretting your choices.  If you cannot bring yourself to a place where you can at least appreciate the learning you have received through loving and losing love, you have a lot of work to do.  Each love in your life has been sent to you for a reason.  You are a reason in someone else’s life.  Assess yourself.  Your relationships.  Are you getting what you need?  Are you learning?  If you are not, you must ask yourself what you are doing.

 

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10 Sep 2013 · 11:26

War – Blog No. 71

blog41This world did not get to where it is by swapping recipes or dancing hand-in-hand around the maypole.  There are forces at war in every day, every country, every man.  The sooner people realise that Shiva is alive and well, the better.  What does war mean in 2013?  It does not mean the same as war in 1939.  No.  It does not mean the same as Hiroshima.  Nagasaki.  War in 2013 means suggesting to aggressors that theirs’ is not a wise tack to take.  Is it not an act of humanity, striking against what is wrong?  There is not one American, or one British person, or in fact any educated person on this planet that would accept their entire town or city being murdered in their sleep by the government.  Not one.  Why should the Syrians stand for it?  Who are they supposed to ask for help, if not the West?  That puts the West in an awkward position.  Do you pretend that what happened – is happening – in the Middle East is acceptable?  Or do you condemn the massacre of innocent civilians with force?  It depends on what language the murderers understand.  If President Obama strikes against Syria, remember that he is not trying to take over the world.  He is not doing a Hitler.  He is authorising his military to protect the people of Syria.  That this action would have widespread ramifications is clearly understood.  I think everybody understands that it is not just Syria and America in the picture here.  There will be retaliation and others will be drawn into the fray.  Does that count as collateral damage?  I wonder.

Let us not pretend there has ever been peace on this planet.  There never has.  What can we do about that?  We can work towards it – the same way generations before us have been working towards it.  It would seem that there is a permanent hitch with Israel and Palestine.  They love this war-business.  They should accept that their protracted battle over a piece of the EARTH is the work of fanaticism.  It is holy land?  Well then stop warring on it, over it.  Respect its holiness.  Give the Palestinians a place to become who they are, please Israel.  Show your bigger heart.  It means a dent to your pride, perhaps, but that is not the worst thing in the world.  The amount of hatred directed at the Jews – for whatever reason anti-semites hate Jews these days – builds for them their fate.  Do you not realise that hate rolls around, and around, and around?  Someone, somewhere has to give ground.  I don’t see where the Palestinians can go if Israel takes the land from under their feet.  Must they now wander in the desert for 40 years?  China, also, should stop stealing borders.  They do not own the planet, they should be a lot more respectful towards it.

You cannot say that bombing Syria is like killing Syrians to stop Syrians killing Syrians.  That is not what happened – is happening.  That is overly simplistic and it is rubbish, besides.  Is bombing Syria perhaps a necessary protest, a stepping-stone in the bigger picture?  Think about it.  When do you stand up and say no?  When enough, is enough.  Where is humanity if the Syrian government can kill its people with impunity whilst the rest of the world stands by and watches?  I wonder.

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06 Sep 2013 · 11:01

The Circus – Blog No. 70

CircusFest_Photo_Matilda-Temperley_low-resThis earth is a circus.  It’s about time it got its act together.  There is an audience, waiting.  There are animals pacing, fretting, hating.  The big top is filled with suspense and the acrobats are waiting to fly.  Where is the ringmaster?  The circus is at a standstill until the ringmaster arrives.  What can he possibly be doing?  His show waits to go on.

Perhaps he has been eaten around the back, by a tiger.  Perhaps he is drunk, in his trailer.  Perhaps he has forgotten that he has a performance this day?  Whatever his excuse, it is not good enough.  You cannot choose to be ringmaster and then neglect your duties.

The wild animals would all like to kill the ringmaster.  Each one of them.  He is a nuisance to them.  A man who punishes, bullies, exploits.  A noise.  Each flick of his whip is a death-wish.  If he should turn his back on the wild for even one moment, he will lose his life.  He knows this so he shouts, postures, threatens.  The animals watch and they obey, wearily tolerating man’s ego.

The clowns are sweating yesterday’s booze and this morning’s boredom.  They know their act is not funny but they line up in the wings, ready to entertain with fake enthusiasm.  The audience is anticipating stupidity from the clowns, and they will deliver that stupidity with practiced ease.  They always do.  They are paid to do that.

The tightrope is strung high.  There is no safety net.  This day the walker will perform successfully, or die.  He is fortunate that all eyes on his progress keeps him glued to the sky.  The walker watches horizons, he does not watch each of his steady steps, forwards.  You cannot look down and hope to know where you are going.

The dogs are the only ones who enjoy their performance.  They find fun in lying, rolling, jumping hoops.  They know that each trick will earn them a treat, a reward.  That is enough to motivate them into obeying orders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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02 Sep 2013 · 15:07

Excitement – Blog No. 69

excitementWhen was the last time you felt pure excitement?  Not anticipation – or lust – but excitement.  It is a vital emotion to feel.  You are not more alive than when you are excited.  The flutter in your heart will tell you when that is.  If you have people in your life that do not excite you, that is your problem.  You must make new acquaintances.

People can excite you with their ideas, their thoughts.  Their expression.  Excitement can be channelled forwards and it can be contagious.  It is worth cultivating in your days.  How do you make a people excited about being alive?  How do you turn a vague interest in living into a passion for every single day that is gifted?  There is only one way.  You explain to a people that unless they change radically the way they are approaching their future, they are doomed.  On every level.  Fortunately for those who are determined to carry on as if they are not in any way responsible for the state of this Earth’s nerves, there is time yet to turn things around for themselves.  Nature is patient.  That is the good news.

Surround yourself with options that stimulate your interest in life.  There are many.  Do not be lazy about finding out what stimulates you.  Excitement is one of them.  Find it, and make use of it.  If you find reason to feel excited about absolutely nothing, then that is even better.

 

 

 

 

 

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