It is an interesting thought. How do you convey an understanding? That is some skill, when you can do that effectively. It is a skill we are all learning, all the time. It is about being skilled in communication. However you choose to do that. Understanding is visceral. You can feel it. How do you confer a feeling? First you must understand the feeling before you can attempt to share it. When you hear a truth, remember that you do not need to remind yourself to remember it for the future, when you hear a truth it sinks right in. You have to do nothing more than hear it. Hearing is not the same as listening. Also, it is best if you do not start trying to fight the truth with reason – man’s reason ought not be valued as much as it is in this world. It tries with its noise to out-shout others whose opinions are more valuable.
It is said that love means understanding a person’s position when they wrong you, treat you badly. Instead of lashing out, you stand back and you consider what pain the person must be in. Pain governs a great deal of bad behaviour and oftentimes deserves empathy. This can be challenging. Of course, should the person treating you badly simply be an arsehole, then take yourself out of their equation. In life there is really little point in surrounding yourself with arseholes, do not allow yourself to become one, either. It is a choice.
To share an understanding with another is a beautiful thing indeed. Your understandings will guide you in life. They guide very effectively when you have them accessible, your understandings lead you to ever-new perceptions about people, times, places. Fresh perceptions are necessary in life. They inspire you. When you understand something new, or you understand a thing differently to the way you understood it before, you give yourself tools with which to work your life around you. It is worth taking time to understand a thing, things. Tools come in a variety of shapes, and sizes.
Transition is an interesting phase. It is closure on one level, and the opening up of a brand new vista on another. Transitions in life – and you will have a few – may cause you to lose the reference points with which you have become familiar. You will need to establish new reference points and you will need to be pragmatic about the process of saying goodbye to the old ones. Reference points only serve you for the duration of their lifespan, there is no need to be sentimental about starting afresh.
Transition is about changing. Again – respect that change is life. That is the one reality you cannot escape. The more precious we are about holding on to our personal ‘history’, the more difficult it is to embrace change. Be selective about what you are precious about. Transitions do not come without warning, but they do happen without your permission. They come at exactly the right time. It is wise to accept their arrival.
Transition is about growing, too. This can be a seamless process, you can expand your capacity without it being painful. Often, it is painful. You are pushing yourself to capacity, and beyond – which hurts. There is always the beyond. There is always something extra where you expect to be empty. You just have to find the courage to go there. You become what you are meant to be through transition. Each transition, a success. No matter how you respond to the transition that is sent to change you, change you will. So that is success.
Death is one of life’s transitions. Viva la vista.
Disillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window. Toss it out. What is the point of being disillusioned? Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life. No one wants to be a victim of life. Life plays hard with everybody, alike. Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not. You are not here to count your woes, in any case. You are here to count your blessings. Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me. Let them. In fact – let your woes, go. Who says you cannot? Where they go is not your business. Good riddance. Why can you not just cut them loose? Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone. What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes? We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes. We must watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real. Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.
If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it. Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to. Let them have imaginary friends. It does not mean they are psychotic. Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child. It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow. As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality. As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does. You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too. How you choose to do that is up to you. If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build. If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent. Negligent parents are not what this world needs.
Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless. How can you be disillusioned when you have chosen your own path? When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons. Nothing is as it was before. What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with. You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold. It is an occupational hazard. Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength. The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can. You can manage your illusion with some precision. Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable. If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path. Get off it. Look around. Go where no one has gone before. Go to the unknown. It is a place in you. It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place. Get busy interpreting and living your dreams – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself. If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.
Porn is a bigger problem than you perhaps realise. Kids under 10 are looking at it – girls, as well as boys. It is not just looking at it that is a problem. Reading it can be a problem, too, if you read hardcore copy. Porn bends heads. It scares girls, wakes up Pandora. Porn has extraordinary power and it needs to be kept away from children. It damages them. You will have to accept that we will not eradicate porn from this world, but it should be better regulated. Adults who enjoy porn should look a little deeper into their sex. They will probably find that on a level their sex is hectic, but empty. How much transgression can you watch going on before you start to transgress as part of an everyday? What you watch becomes your reality. Choose carefully what thoughts you fill your head with. There is a lot of depraved thinking going on in the minds of boys and men and there are enough loose women desperate enough to comply with their desires. This needs dealing with. I am not suggesting that it is only men, either. Women these days have seriously questionable morals – they are as much into whoring as the men are. A lot of women are predators. A lot of men are corruptors of innocence, they get off on turning you into a bad girl for their entertainment. Watch for them. Porn has bred whoring. Be watchful, too, for money-whores. There are a great many of those in our world. Porn is the difference between a ‘fuck’ and making love. Love lets you know everything you need to know about making it. A ‘fuck’ is nothing. Know that a lot of men out there are fucking women for a living. They tell the women what they need to hear – lies, usually, and they ply them with alcohol to loosen their inhibitions and get into their pants. Women are not good at drinking too much and keeping their pants on. A woman who needs love (and there are a lot of those in our world) wants to believe the random man whispering in her ear actually cares about her and she opens willingly to his approach. Easy. Know that he does not care. He is taking from her her grace, her innocence. Bit by bit. As a woman, please do not be under the illusion – ever – that when you let a man into your pants after three minutes that it is love. It never, ever is. It is purely physical. You are a sex toy. Understand this when you want to make sense of your life.
We need to replace porn with erotica. Erotica is hot, porn is not. Erotica is different – lust is a reality for every single one of us. Carnal lust. The carnal lust that drives the animal in all of us will surprise us with its power time and again. If you fail to recognise the animal in you, you are missing vital information from your understanding of life. Know that love and lust do go hand in hand. Both are instincts. Love and lust are bed-fellows in good relationships. If you do not feel lust, or cannot feel lust – then something is wrong with your sex. You must investigate what is not right in your love life. It is time to look at what you expect from sex, what you require from sex and what you are not getting. If you are not getting love – just a few hours of physical intimacy with a stranger – then your sex life is pretty pointless, it has to be said. You should perhaps change the way you go about doing what you do.
Sex should not become boring. Boring is dangerous. Comfortable is fine, but avoid boring because it leads to transgression. Boring means you need to reconsider your relationship before you do something that is going to jeopardise it. Kids must learn young what sex is about and what it is for. Important – it is not only for procreation, for god’s sake. It is there for pleasure. If kids should hear the wrong thing about sex in the first place, this is an issue. Teach them right. Porn tells a wrong story and it should not be their introduction.
If you aspire to – or do – live like a porn star in your real life then understand that you are the kind of person that is destroying the equilibrium in this world, i.e. the peace. Please stop it. People who use others for sex are selfish. You do not ever use somebody for sex. And you do not ever take someone’s sex from them. EVER. You respect that sex is a demonstration of love – not simply a quick way to get your rocks off or boost your self-esteem. Ironically, random sex will not boost your self-esteem. It will eat away at your insides. You throw your name away each time you do it.