Tag Archives: life

Depression – Blog No. 43

depression

I suspect that three-quarters of this planet is currently suffering from one kind of a depression or another. Historically, depression has been either ignored or stigmatised. Its prevalence was grossly underestimated and its shattering effects widely misunderstood. Fortunately, that was then. This is now. It is clearer than ever in this day and age that depression is real – it decimates individuals and families. It is an indiscriminate killer.

 

Depression is excruciating to experience and soul-destroying to witness firsthand. It does not lend itself to explanation – the reasons for entering into a depression are too numerous to document even if there was all the time in the world. Each depressive has a reason for their pain that is literally inexplicable to the outside world. You need to feel it for yourself to know it. And when you do know it, you will then understand its power.

 

There are few depressives that would choose to be in the position they find themselves. If you cannot empathise with a depressed person, then at least show compassion for their circumstance. It is quite likely that there are truths and wars raging within them that you know nothing about. It is quite likely that there are moments in each of their days – possibly their everyday – when they think that death would be preferable to life. That does not mean every depressive is a suicide risk, but it does mean that there are plenty of deathwishers contributing to the collective mindset. Remember – thinking makes it so.

 

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Reformation – Blog No. 30

reformation-day-serviceIt would seem that the Church has been reforming itself – at the request of the people – since before the 16th century.  People have been skeptical about the Church for a very long time.  We are now in the 21st century and it would seem that it is time again for the Church to reform itself.  I can understand that any long-standing tradition will have difficulty in accepting that a shake-up is necessary.  Too bad – it is.  The point that the Church needs to understand is that people are not the same as they were.  You cannot apply an ancient set of rules (which were perfectly feasible, perhaps, at their time) to the now generations.  Abortion is not guaranteed to send you to whichever hell you think is real.  Neither is sex.  If you abort children because you are too lazy to use contraception, that is a different story.  That is why contraception exists.  Parenting is not something everyone is good at doing, and it is not something that everyone should do.

Reformation is always for the better.  Always.  To reform old ideas is exciting – especially with the evidence the sciences work very hard to produce for this ‘seeing is believing’ world.  Modifying your ideas is not supposed to be humiliating.  Everyone believes something wholeheartedly at some point in their lives.  Grace comes into play when you admit (however grudgingly) that there are facts you didn’t have before – that you now have –  that change the way you think about things and the way you look at things.  It is said that you will only see what your mind can conceive of.  That is very true.  That is why a reformation is necessary.  It is better to procure the facts and feed them to the people so they can make informed choices.  It is possible that because of what the Church is protecting it cannot change its mind on certain core issues.  That is to be expected.  However, the Church has a huge responsibility because it has a huge following.  A lot of people devoted – totally devoted – to God are praying every day for salvation.  I hope the Church can save them all.

You can reform your life any time you need to.  With – or without – the Church.  If you should want reform, that is up to you.  Want and need are relative in this context.  A reform is no defeat.  A concession, perhaps.  It is not a failing.  It is an admission that things could be better than they are, that the way you are working isn’t working.  That admission is where you begin to see the reason you need to change your thinking.  It is fairly easy to understand that if you cannot change your thinking – things cannot get better.

 

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Understanding – Blog No. 22

understandingIt is an interesting thought.  How do you convey an understanding?  That is some skill, when you can do that effectively.  It is a skill we are all learning, all the time.  It is about being skilled in communication.  However you choose to do that.  Understanding is visceral.  You can feel it.  How do you confer a feeling?  First you must understand the feeling before you can attempt to share it.  When you hear a truth, remember that you do not need to remind yourself to remember it for the future, when you hear a truth it sinks right in.  You have to do nothing more than hear it.  Hearing is not the same as listening.  Also, it is best if you do not start trying to fight the truth with reason – man’s reason ought not be valued as much as it is in this world.  It tries with its noise to out-shout others whose opinions are more valuable.

It is said that love means understanding a person’s position when they wrong you, treat you badly.  Instead of lashing out, you stand back and you consider what pain the person must be in.  Pain governs a great deal of bad behaviour and oftentimes deserves empathy.  This can be challenging.  Of course, should the person treating you badly simply be an arsehole, then take yourself out of their equation.  In life there is really little point in surrounding yourself with arseholes, do not allow yourself to become one, either.  It is a choice.

To share an understanding with another is a beautiful thing indeed.  Your understandings will guide you in life.  They guide very effectively when you have them accessible, your understandings lead you to ever-new perceptions about people, times, places.  Fresh perceptions are necessary in life.  They inspire you.  When you understand something new, or you understand a thing differently to the way you understood it before, you give yourself tools with which to work your life around you.  It is worth taking time to understand a thing, things.  Tools come in a variety of shapes, and sizes.

 

 

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Transition – Blog No. 94

TransitionLogoSmllTransition is an interesting phase.  It is closure on one level, and the opening up of a brand new vista on another.  Transitions in life – and you will have a few – may cause you to lose the reference points with which you have become familiar.  You will need to establish new reference points and you will need to be pragmatic about the process of saying goodbye to the old ones.  Reference points only serve you for the duration of their lifespan, there is no need to be sentimental about starting afresh.

Transition is about changing.  Again – respect that change is life.  That is the one reality you cannot escape.  The more precious we are about holding on to our personal ‘history’, the more difficult it is to embrace change.  Be selective about what you are precious about.  Transitions do not come without warning, but they do happen without your permission.  They come at exactly the right time.  It is wise to accept their arrival.

Transition is about growing, too.  This can be a seamless process, you can expand your capacity without it being painful.  Often, it is painful.  You are pushing yourself to capacity, and beyond – which hurts.  There is always the beyond.  There is always something extra where you expect to be empty.  You just have to find the courage to go there.  You become what you are meant to be through transition.  Each transition, a success.  No matter how you respond to the transition that is sent to change you, change you will.  So that is success.

Death is one of life’s transitions.  Viva la vista.

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Home – Blog No. 90

sexyappleThe drive to go home is a strong pull.  Every one of us has a sense of ‘home’.  We will spend our entire lives travelling there.  It is the wild in you that will direct you to your beginnings.  That is why it is important to acknowledge your wild.  You will take its direction.  It is worth realising that ‘home’ for you is not necessarily ‘home’ for your partner, or others in your immediate family.  You can all be travelling, simultaneously, to different places.  Home is a resting place.  You will feel this, it is a knowing.  You know when you get there, when you leave.  The place in which you live is not necessarily your ‘home’.  It depends on how fully you inhabit it.

Home is where your heart is.  Your heart is where your truth is.  Where you send your head is where you end up.  Every time.  Home is a sanctuary.  Establish early where your ‘home’ is and map the maze that life builds for you around it.  Home will be at core.  Source.  Like a salmon can find its way miles back upstream to its beginnings, you can find your way back home should you need to.  Time and again.  For some, ‘home’ is that safe place they have in their heads – where there are sunny beaches, rainbows, fluffy bunnies.  For others, ‘home’ is their union with another person.  It is quite possible to have a relationship deep enough that it takes you both ‘home’.  I suppose in an ideal world that level of devotion would be evident in every relationship.

Home replenishes the soul.  The starving soul.  And at times every single person on this planet has a starving soul.  When you hunger for ‘home’, that is when you know.  It is visceral.  A calling.  And it grows larger the longer you ignore it.  In fact, your longing for ‘home’ is metastatic.  It starts in your heart, then it begins to overwhelm your reason for being and it conquers your conditioning, the will of the system.  You become acutely aware of its impatience gnawing at your insides – at the edges of your mind – and at some point, you must obey its call.  It is advisable to explain your call to ‘home’ when it comes, before you act on it.  Partners can feel abandoned if you should disappear for a time, on a mission to take yourself ‘home’.  Children will miss you whilst you are gone.  But partners will get over being left, and children will be happy to be reunited with you when you return, refreshed.  Going ‘home’ is cyclical.  Roll with it.

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Disillusionment – Blog No. 58

old_people_illusionDisillusionment needs to be thrown out of the window.  Toss it out.  What is the point of being disillusioned?  Being disillusioned means admitting that you are a victim of life.  No one wants to be a victim of life.  Life plays hard with everybody, alike.  Do not imagine that your woes are worse than another’s – I can guarantee you they are not.  You are not here to count your woes, in any case.  You are here to count your blessings.  Your woes can keep count of themselves, believe me.  Let them.  In fact – let your woes, go.  Who says you cannot?  Where they go is not your business.  Good riddance.  Why can you not just cut them loose?  Because you count on your woes to keep you in your comfort zone.  What is more familiar – and cozy – than a place so tried and tested that we know exactly how it goes?  We all know how our heads go when we let ourselves dwell on our woes.  We must  watch woes with a cautious eye, they are often more illusory than they are, real.  Pull yourself free of your illusion – see the world for what it is without passing judgement and decide to have an impact on its destiny.

If you should deliberately disillusion children for a living, stop it.  Let them believe in the tooth fairy or the tooth mouse, Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and superheroes, if they choose to.  Let them have imaginary friends.  It does not mean they are psychotic.  Their realities are as much a construct as yours are – make space in your reality for the reality of your child.  It will have developed independent of you and it needs space to grow.  As a parent, you must respect your child’s internal reality and you must know that what you choose to show your child of this life will tell in its understanding of its external reality.  As the guide – the role-model – you are in charge of demonstrating what life is, and what it does.  You are responsible for giving your child the beginnings of an imagination, too.  How you choose to do that is up to you.  If you are absent when it comes to your child building a world inside of its head – if you show your child nothing that it finds worthwhile – then you are not giving the child anything to use as a foundation for its build.  If you fail to provide a base for your child’s early belief systems then it can safely be said that as a parent you are being negligent.  Negligent parents are not what this world needs.

Should you subscribe to the theory that life is an illusion – or that we live our illusions – then you will understand that disillusionment is absolutely pointless.  How can you be disillusioned  when you have chosen your own path?  When you do not take the beaten track you can make no comparisons.  Nothing is as it was before.  What you see is what you get, and that is what you work with.  You run the risk of feeling at a loss now and again – that is natural in a greedy world filled with takers – but you should not allow that feeling to take hold.  It is an occupational hazard.  Disillusionment at the hands of an illusion saps strength.  The strength you need to live an illusion (because you will live your illusion in conjunction with your other realities) comes from knowing that you can.  You can manage your illusion with some precision.  Illusions are where we keep our best, because in an illusion your best is untouchable.  If you cannot conceive of having a ‘best’ then you are on the wrong path.  Get off it.  Look around.  Go where no one has gone before.  Go to the unknown.  It is a place in you.  It is most likely that you will find yourself best on this path, in that place.  Get busy interpreting and living your dreams  – share your inner reality, even if it is only with yourself.  If you want to find a way to make it real, you will.

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Porn – Blog No. 56

porn-logic_o_175338Porn is a bigger problem than you perhaps realise.  Kids under 10 are looking at it – girls, as well as boys.  It is not just looking at it that is a problem.  Reading it can be a problem, too, if you read hardcore copy.  Porn bends heads.  It scares girls, wakes up Pandora.  Porn has extraordinary power and it needs to be kept away from children.  It damages them.  You will have to accept that we will not eradicate porn from this world, but it should be better regulated.  Adults who enjoy porn should look a little deeper into their sex.  They will probably find that on a level their sex is hectic, but empty.  How much transgression can you watch going on before you start to transgress as part of an everyday?  What you watch becomes your reality.  Choose carefully what thoughts you fill your head with.  There is a lot of depraved thinking going on in the minds of boys and men and there are enough loose women desperate enough to comply with their desires.  This needs dealing with.  I am not suggesting that it is only men, either.  Women these days have seriously questionable morals – they are as much into whoring as the men are.  A lot of women are predators.  A lot of men are corruptors of innocence, they get off on turning you into a bad girl for their entertainment.  Watch for them.  Porn has bred whoring.  Be watchful, too, for money-whores.  There are a great many of those in our world.  Porn is the difference between a ‘fuck’ and making love.  Love lets you know everything you need to know about making it.  A ‘fuck’ is nothing.  Know that a lot of men out there are fucking women for a living.  They tell the women what they need to hear – lies, usually, and they ply them with alcohol to loosen their inhibitions and get into their pants.  Women are not good at drinking too much and keeping their pants on.  A woman who needs love (and there are a lot of those in our world) wants to believe the random man whispering in her ear actually cares about her and she opens willingly to his approach.  Easy.  Know that he does not care.  He is taking from her her grace, her innocence.  Bit by bit.  As a woman, please do not be under the illusion – ever – that when you let a man into your pants after three minutes that it is love.  It never, ever is.  It is purely physical.  You are a sex toy.  Understand this when you want to make sense of your life.

We need to replace porn with erotica.  Erotica is hot, porn is not.  Erotica is different – lust is a reality for every single one of us.  Carnal lust.  The carnal lust that drives the animal in all of us will surprise us with its power time and again.  If you fail to recognise the animal in you, you are missing vital information from your understanding of life.  Know that love and lust do go hand in hand.  Both are instincts.  Love and lust are bed-fellows in good relationships.  If you do not feel lust, or cannot feel lust – then something is wrong with your sex.  You must investigate what is not right in your love life.  It is time to look at what you expect from sex, what you require from sex and what you are not getting.  If you are not getting love – just a few hours of physical intimacy with a stranger – then your sex life is pretty pointless, it has to be said.  You should perhaps change the way you go about doing what you do.

Sex should not become boring.  Boring is dangerous.  Comfortable is fine, but avoid boring because it leads to transgression.  Boring means you need to reconsider your relationship before you do something that is going to jeopardise it.  Kids must learn young what sex is about and what it is for.  Important – it is not only for procreation, for god’s sake.  It is there for pleasure.  If kids should hear the wrong thing about sex in the first place, this is an issue.  Teach them right.  Porn tells a wrong story and it should not be their introduction.

If you aspire to – or do – live like a porn star in your real life then understand that you are the kind of person that is destroying the equilibrium in this world, i.e. the peace.  Please stop it.  People who use others for sex are selfish.  You do not ever use somebody for sex.  And you do not ever take someone’s sex from them.  EVER.  You respect that sex is a demonstration of love – not simply a quick way to get your rocks off or boost your self-esteem.  Ironically, random sex will not boost your self-esteem.  It will eat away at your insides.  You throw your name away each time you do it.

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