Author Archives: C.J. Birch

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About C.J. Birch

I was born on Thursday 13th July 1972 in Harare, Zimbabwe, to an English father and a South African mother. I was christened Catherine Jane Birch and - from the outset - I've been inquisitive about most of life's elemental questions; its myriad paradoxes and unpredictable anomalies, their sources, solutions and their propensity for unmitigated change. From a very young age I was captured by the enigmatic life process, the challenge of living and what it 'means' to be alive. I spent countless invaluable hours in nature, watching the world at its work. I had a fascination for everything around me, curious about what things were, how and why they worked, what they represented in relation to one another. I began writing at the age of 5. Journals, stories and poetry, illustrations, have been a constantly evolving source of quiet self-reflection, expansive expression throughout my life. I'm fortunate to have travelled many miles, to have visited a variety of differing destinations and though I've learned a lot about life in the last 50 years, my questions about its complexities are neverending. I currently live in the south-east of England, having returned to the United Kingdom after a particularly harrowing period of 7 allegedly 'invisible' or 'non-existent' years of absolute hell in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. I've decided to erase those memories, altogether. My 15-year-old son lives in Switzerland, with his father.

Love is something beautifully human – Blog No. 23

Lovepizza

The dinosaurs did not fall in Love.  Neither did the dodo or the coelacanth.  Love is something that has become, with us.  It has evolved alongside humankind.  Physical attraction, chemistry – in all species – has always led to sex, the propagation of life.  This natural process is responsible, too, for the development of our ancestors, ourselves.  It has ensured our gradual improvement.  When Love turned up initially, things were different.  Love was for everyone, and there was enough.  It was not something one had that another need ever covet.  When Love became associated with ownership – i.e. possessed – and certain people were deemed unworthy of its touch – i.e. the untouchables – the real meaning behind Love’s message was lost.  Using hindsight, it would appear that it simply went elsewhere to validate its claim that it was not for sale, that its purpose was pre-ordained and its essence incorruptible.  In what became known as a time-warp, instead of buying into its demise, it left its shadow to fend off Love’s nemesis and went to fetch the testimony of its true representatives.

That Love has some extremes should come as no surprise.  It has spent centuries being stretched in virtually every direction.  It is even frequented, these days, by the likes of paedophiles, psychopaths and otherwise marginalised madmen.  Each has their story and each of those stories has cause.  When humans routinely call torture or protracted brutality ‘acts of Love’, though, it becomes time to review humans differently.  It is not time to redefine Love.  Love is not responsible for the indescribable cruelty some try to justify by using the line:  it’s only because I love you.  Humans are responsible for hiding violence behind that kind of lie.  If Love is the motivation behind an action then cruelty will not be a tactic used by anyone for any reason.  Ever.

Where Love discovers that it has been misunderstood or misrepresented it will take time to explain.  Like for every single contrived crime scene it will have an alibi.  That goes without saying.  The length of its explanation will depend on the degree of your misunderstanding and/or the level of misrepresentation.  Every alibi will be able to explain itself.  What Love will not do, however, is waste anyone’s time by rehabilitating idiots.  Idiots are best left to their own devices and Love is best when it lets idiots go.

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The weather – Blog No. 22

The weather

It is conventional in some countries for people to speak to each other about the weather as if it were a reference point in a friendly conversation.  It isn’t.  It’s the polite way of saying:  I don’t know what else to say to you.  That is the way with all small talk.  It is projectile ineptitude and all those engaged in its futility are evidently acutely uncomfortable with silence of any kind.  They need to fill the tranquility, the quiet, with pointless noise aimed at easing the awkwardness caused when they are faced with social situations in which they would rather not find themselves.  Do not listen to that sort of noise.   If you are genuinely interested in the weather, then speak of it with reverence.  Do not use it as an excuse to make wasted conversation.  Even the weather gets bored, hearing itself spoken about in the dead tones of those who chatter with empty heads.

The weather is largely unpredictable.  It is set to stay that way.  Forecasting is one way of finding out what is on its way, weather-wise.  Forecasting has prevented many deaths this century.  It is a valuable resource.  It is tempting – given the research done and being done – to imagine that it is reasonable with practice to predict definite weather patterns or determine with certainty what the weather will ‘do’.  You cannot decide what the weather is going to do.  It has its own agenda to attend to.  It is important to know that the weather we experience is impacted by factors that haven’t even happened yet.

The weather is quite often a phenomenon.  It does not play favourites.  It is what it is.  It does what it can.  The weather does not ask humankind if it would like a monsoon yesterday.  It sends a hurricane when the winds decide the time is right and a monsoon on Tuesday if the rain says okay.  That is its way.  There is no reward for complaining about its diverse nature, nor is there respite from its less tender ministrations for those who will build their lives contrary to its guidelines.  Nature will not be tamed.  Not now, not then – and not ever.  I – for one – am grateful for its changeability, its refusal to be capped by mankind.  Nature is our very essence.  Weather is its expression.  No matter how frustrating it is for humankind, neither respond to punishment.  Neither will be manipulated by public opinion.  Neither care what curses are spat in their general direction.  When there is Nature’s work to be done it gets done.  The way you feel about how it goes about its business is neither here nor there, either.  It does not work to impress.  It works to get the job that needs doing, done.

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Critics – Blog No. 21

Critics

Critics are important.  When they are required.  When they are not required they are nothing short of a pain in the arse.  Critics are the reason there are censors, and censors – where necessary – can be valuable.  For instance:  censors are needed when it comes to the matters of children.  Adolescents should be guided, too, by sensible censors and adults in their own capacity should be quite capable of choosing what they would like to expose themselves to. When critics are selected – and I am not talking about the idiot critics who elect themselves experts on subjects they know nothing about – there are vital criteria that must be met.  One of those is the selector’s ability to recognise in a critic his/her inherent intent when criticising.

Fortunately constructive criticism exists.  It is still possible to find those who delight in the success of others in this dog-eat-dog world.  It would seem that the predominant desire in this world – perhaps because there are billions of ‘have-nots’ on this planet – is to see your neighbour fail once he/she has achieved a degree of success deemed by you to be ‘above their station in life’.  Resentments abound.  Those that ‘have’ at first become their own clan, thinking that by pulling together they will somehow preserve their imagined pre-eminence and protect their investments.  In the manic dash to close ranks in their capitalist panic they do not realise that the welfare of their fellow humans is their investment.

Once upon a time I said that there were some things I needed, and some that I didn’t.  It would seem that some idiot decided that they knew better than me what I required and in an act of perhaps misdirected goodwill delivered me to the kangaroo court, the Spanish Inquisition’s firing squad and the Doors of Hell.  It was not expected that I would benefit from the experiences, but I ensured that I did.  I discovered on my lengthy journey that kangaroos were in fact dogs dressed in sheep’s clothing, that Spanish is a beautiful language to listen to and I learned that my private Hell was nothing to fear.  Quite the contrary.  It is the scars that are housed in my private Hell that held the keys to the foreseeable future.  We all have a private Hell.  A personal place we send ourselves at various stages to make amends.  The point in being sent there is to fix things, to heal our ravaged souls.  There is no point in going there with the intention of inflicting further damage upon yourself for the same old sins committed.  You are there to face and accept old fears, to process your allocated pain.  You are there to understand your sadness and to let it go.  You are not there to assassinate your own character – so do not become your own worst critic.

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Scales – Blog No. 20

Chromatic scale

If you need to scale down what is happening on this planet at this exact time – in order to get it into better perspective – then I would suggest you watch a clip of the moon landing in 1969.  It would not hurt either to take a look at the footage of Apollo 13’s return.  These things – amongst others – tell the story of what is possible when you believe in what seems to be impossible or you dare to dream that impossible dream.  Either way, when it comes down to what counts in your life you will find out that what is seen as impossible, is not.

Another way to measure the actuality of happenings is to fill your scales of justice with everything you have.  All your positives to the right and all your negatives to the left.  You need not sort through them.  No matter where you think they belong – on whichever side – neither will end up in the wrong place.  They know where to go when balance is called for.  When your scales are hanging heavier on one side – on, say, the left – at the nanosecond during which your exact balance is captured, you will not be required to explain any discrepancy that is evident.  Your measure tells your truth and the nature of the future you inherit will depend on that evidence.

Fish have scales.  As do dragons.  It is best to remove the scales from either creature before eating it.

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Moderate worry – Blog No. 19

Mad

Moderate worry – if only because worrying makes little difference to any outcome.  Be aware that a preoccupation with trying to control a situation by anticipating its worst is counter-productive to its actual outcome.  You worry that tomorrow will come with some vengeance, for instance.  And tomorrow probably will, but how does your fretting – your restless toing and indecisive froing – affect its manifestation?  It simply doesn’t.  The first thing to realise when you are allocating to yourself any kind of panic is that you are wasting your energy and adversely impacting your thinking facility.  You are powerless – using worry – to effect any life changes of a positive kind.

It makes sense to worry a little.  It maintains your presence of mind and it keeps reality real.  It is only in an ideal world that there are no worries to worry about and it would be fair to say that the people inhabiting this planet certainly do not embody an ideal world.  Worry implies care.  It demonstrates a selflessness – unless your concerns are purely self-serving.  We cannot but worry about our children and about the state of the planet, the nature of our changing environment.  The plight of humankind.  The key is not to become consumed by concerns that do not concern you.  Worry about what you can influence.  Let those that can influence what you cannot do what they can do and in the interim spend some time and energy building a future about which no-one has to worry.

If you do not monitor the door open to your worries you will find yourself inundated daily with a succession of sudden crises that you cannot handle.  You need to manage your happenings in such a way that you become adept at discerning when to let a worry into your consciousness and when to deflect it.  Worries are known to grow uncontrollably when they are over-indulged and it is therefore vital to address them with the correct amount of relevant attention.  If you will waste your days dwelling on what is not important you must realise that what is of importance has a way of deciding the future outcome for itself.

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Divine intervention – Blog No. 18

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I look at divine in the context of ‘like a god’.  Not ‘as a god’.  I believe that when you divine a need – your need, for example – you are not guessing what is necessary, you are intuiting a solution.  When you are divining your outcome – your future, for example – you are guessing.  That is not necessary.  Your future is not in your hands.  Technically, your future you do not need.  You may want it, but you do not need it.  Your immediate needs are more pressing.  I would attend them.

Divine is in aspect, magical.  When you consider that the word ‘god’ is what we have chosen to assume is associated with ‘divinity’ you will perhaps understand that the word is in dire need of redefining.  As is the word ‘lawlessness’.  I have said that before today.  Scientists snigger up their sleeves at magic.  They have to – if they accepted its actuality it would probably disassociate their focus.  That is as well.  We all have our ways.  Our means to the end.  The scientists find the explanations.  That is lucky for us.

Divination is a tricky business.  You should not get into it unless you are prepared to learn from it your real truth.  Like you should not open your mouth unless you know what you are talking about.  That is a simple lesson to learn.  Like the lesson that dreams are personal.  Divination is never inference.  Ever.  It is wisdom.  It is a medium through which myriad spirits speak.  If you cannot – or will not – hear the delivery of centuries’  wisdom, that is unfortunate.

I suspect your death, then, was a blessing in disguise.

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Purpose built – Blog No. 17

purpose built

That is why it is vital to know what your purpose on this planet, is.  Then you will understand why you have been built the way you have.  It is important not to identify too closely with your ‘build’ – it does not necessarily define you.  It can, of course, but again that depends on what your particular purpose is.  It also has something to do with how you come to realise what that purpose – your destiny – is.  When you can come to terms with, and accept, your destiny – you will find that who you are is absolutely perfect for the job you need to do.  That is why yes is a word you should use with yourself.  Should you be purpose built and deny yourself your destiny by lying when you are identifying yourself then it is fair to say that you will probably end up living the wrong life.

If you are as yet unsure about the nature of your purpose, its role in your life, there are ways to establish how to find out.  That does not take three minutes, it takes a great deal of time and selfless devotion.  If you cannot be bothered to show yourself your true reason(s) for being you are consigning yourself to the giant void that is a pointless existence.  There is nothing worse than living on this planet for a reason you are not able to give yourself.

There are those that are built – like elements are the building blocks of the universe – a certain way for a certain reason.  When we discover the value in our diversity we will be more inclined to celebrate who exactly it is that we are.  Whilst that truth eludes you, you will see difference in a fearful light and you will be inclined to fight it.  The point is that when the starter pistol began the race of time we crossed the line with a view to finishing.  Others crossed the line with the intention of winning.  Others still, crossed that line and collapsed after travelling three feeble metres.  The reason that happened is because from the beginning, they were running on empty – and the initial surge at the start reversed them.

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Political correctness – Blog No. 16

politically correct

If it had been proven that being politically correct was a solution to the problems we face on this planet, I would have employed its ‘diplomacy’.  It wasn’t.  There are times when diplomacy is necessary, despite the idiots you may find yourself facing.  And diplomatic means that you speak your mind with regard for your person and respect for another’s intelligence.  It does not mean that you lie.  When diplomacy goes out of the window it is a sure sign that the shit is going to hit the fan.  When that fan is my face, you will know about it.  Every single one of you.

I am certain that political correctness had good intentions.  It was meant to dress up the mess of this planet in ribbons and bows for those whose sensitivity had already correctly identified it.  That was perhaps a kind gesture.  It was, though, counter-productive.  It showed contempt for the people who have been listening to a ‘truth’ with the view of finding solutions.  That this was in part unintentional – given that those who were preaching the bullshit did not know they had a sympathetic audience – is the only aspect that makes their lies acceptable.  And white lies are called white lies for a reason.  That is not to say that they are the only lies there are.

For those who may not know or understand political correctness for what it is, it is cowardice.  Avoidance.  It becomes a debilitating habit of telling a people what you think they want to hear instead of starting dialogue that addresses the real problems we all face.  That can be as a result of the ‘partriarchal complex’ rife on this planet – one that we have been conditioned to accept.  The belief that men are obligated to be the protectors on this planet.  Not all of them are.  Those that are not natural-born protectors – those who have misrepresented themselves as saviours – will be the ones who lie to you about your reality.  They will do this for two reasons:  either to save face, or to conceal their weaknesses, their actual inefficacy.

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Please – Blog No. 15

Before you swear at the next refugee, or spit on the shadows of heartbroken immigrants, or victimise displaced persons – consider this:

There will come a time when you – yourselves – might require asylum.  When that time comes you will understand how it feels to be at the mercy of a system you are unable to control.  It is a frightening feeling, having something other than yourself decide your fate – based on what it thinks it knows of your situation.  Systems are systems for a reason.  People are human for a reason.  Letting a system decide your fate is not what humans do.  Or at least – they shouldn’t.  You decide your own fate – and in doing so, you can change the fates of many people who currently cannot make that choice for themselves.

WakeTheFuckUp

The next time you find it wisest to sit on the side-lines and watch human atrocities atrophying the human mind, remember that that paralysis is ultimately going to be yours.  Each boat-load of hopeless humans is a weight around our collective necks.  Every exile, ourselves.  Please.  Let’s find solutions.  Enough children have died for causes that were never theirs’ to fight.  More than enough.  It is time that adults began seeing eye to eye and teaching their children that in this world – there are alternatives to war.

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Appearances – Blog No. 14

Epic

Yes.  They can occasionally be misleading.  If you are a blind and insentient being.  If you have side-lined your wild, your intuition – your base instincts – you have failed yourself.  And fundamentally – for you – that is a major fuck up.  Personally, I would suggest that fuck-ups are what to read about and to learn from, they are not what to be.  Occasionally it is necessary to do ‘fuck up’ for the sake of our collective health, but fortunately that doing does not come around too often.  When it does – you do it without question.  Not because you are obliged to.  Not because you are being bribed, or blackmailed.  You do it – because firstly, you can – and you do it because it is the right thing to do.  Has everyone on this planet forgotten how to do what is right?

When you are managing your days correctly, you will not have to put up with appearances.  Nor will you have to keep them up.  Appearances are for those who cannot face themselves.  It is a shame for the people who need their masks to get by in life.  Their concealment means they will not get the chance to face themselves – and their truth – again.

If you make an appearance that matters, make it worthwhile or don’t bother.  I tend towards grand gestures.  Hence the reason I do what I do, as well as I do.

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