Author Archives: C.J. Birch

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About C.J. Birch

I was born on Thursday 13th July 1972 in Harare, Zimbabwe, to an English father and a South African mother. I was christened Catherine Jane Birch and - from the outset - I've been inquisitive about most of life's elemental questions; its myriad paradoxes and unpredictable anomalies, their sources, solutions and their propensity for unmitigated change. From a very young age I was captured by the enigmatic life process, the challenge of living and what it 'means' to be alive. I spent countless invaluable hours in nature, watching the world at its work. I had a fascination for everything around me, curious about what things were, how and why they worked, what they represented in relation to one another. I began writing at the age of 5. Journals, stories and poetry, illustrations, have been a constantly evolving source of quiet self-reflection, expansive expression throughout my life. I'm fortunate to have travelled many miles, to have visited a variety of differing destinations and though I've learned a lot about life in the last 50 years, my questions about its complexities are neverending. I currently live in the south-east of England, having returned to the United Kingdom after a particularly harrowing period of 7 allegedly 'invisible' or 'non-existent' years of absolute hell in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. I've decided to erase those memories, altogether. My 15-year-old son lives in Switzerland, with his father.
29 Apr 2013 · 11:21

Boredom – Blog No. 34

boredquotesHow do you prevent yourself from morphing into that most heinous of beasts; the cause of boredom?  That bore that comes of common complacency, and the bore that you become to yourself when you refuse to use your life for the purpose it was built?  Your life was built for your self-expression.  If you fail to express yourself – anywhichwayhow you can manage it – you fail at your core purpose.  Self-expression and self-esteem are inextricably linked – do not forget that.

Boring is tiring.  It is a decimator.  Boring is adhering religiously – yes, religiously – to a certain set of circumspect rules that you allow to govern your life.  You should stand up for yourself more.  You should stand up to yourself more.  We’re tyrants.  Each one of us.  That is perhaps no comforting thought, but it is fact.  When you learn to meet and greet frequently your menace you will find yourself more able – and better-equipped – to face your demons.  Demons are in fact not as terrifying as we make them out to be to ourselves.  They all have their reasons, they all have a message to share.  It is in watching their behaviour(s) that you will find resolution, if you choose to use their (very manageable) resources to your benefit.  Again – that choice is up to you.  Deny that you have demons and I will laugh.

Back to boring.  Boredom.  A low boredom threshold is not a sign or symbol of a maladjusted human being.  It is the sign of someone who will not tolerate mediocrity in either their own lives, or those of the people they allow to influence their days.  We all allow someone to influence our days.  A friend, a dead someone, an abusive memory made by one of the ego-tamers in our lives.  We all meet those – and believe me, we need them.  Ego-tamers are like gifts from the gods.  Learn to recognise them for who they are and celebrate their attention.  Ensure that you do not confuse an ego-tamer with an abuser.  They are very different creatures.

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18 Apr 2013 · 14:15

Breaking the rules – Blog No. 33

RulesThe rules of life:  there are no fixed rules.  We all make up our own.  We start with personal rules – these we develop as guidelines for what we like and what we don’t when we are quite little people.  Crossing the line – emotionally and physically – is not appreciated, clearly, from a very young age.  What makes us set down our first boundaries?  I think it is instinct.  Children are intuitive creatures.  They feel us, our vibes.  And they mirror our behaviours.  It’s hardly surprising that there is a delinquent overdose in the UK – too many kids have been brought up watching their parents lack focus and ambition.

Children should have tolerance.  Even young children.  If a child is missing tolerance in its repertoire of behaviours then it is disadvantaged.  Tolerance is learned.  Tolerance is a word every person understands by virtue of its effect.  To be tolerated – particularly when you are being frustrating or damnably changeable – is a gift.  Tolerance is not accepting the unacceptable.  It is not mindlessly putting up with somebody or something that offends you, or breaks your personal rules.  It is about realising that you are in a bigger picture than the one in which you are affected.  Tolerance is about standing away from yourself; your troubles, your desires, your judgement.  It is about following your heart to a place of feeling rather than taking your head to a place of reason.  You cannot reason with intolerance.  It is easy to find reason for tolerance when you consider that we are all learning in this life.  Even God is learning something new each day, about how humans have evolved.  That first-world man has freedom of choice does amaze me some days.  That he refuses to appreciate it and fully make use of its facility infuriates me.  I do not understand a man with a lethargy for choosing the path of his future.  How can you leave your life to run its own course when you have no idea where your future is?  That is like driving a car with your eyes closed.

Should you find yourself swamped by official rules – rules that you recognise as being imposed upon you by a needlessly anal bureaucracy (society can make you feel that way on occasion) then you must allow yourself to break a few of those rules.  Try not to break the law, that is different.  It brings with it due consequence.  Consider that if you make the rules that govern your days, you are entitled to break them.  Break with your own rules, your old traditions.  Open your future out in your mind.  Your possibility is limitless.  Really limitless.  You have to see beyond your limitations because you have imposed them upon yourself.  Trust that you can do what your mind dreams of if you allow yourself to step outside of your own box.  Stepping out of your box means pushing parameters, letting go of what you know in favour of the unknown.  The unknown is a place worth visiting.  It is found on the other side of your strict personal regime.

 

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15 Apr 2013 · 09:51

Letting go – Blog No. 32

let-goSo you let go.  That means what, exactly?  You tell yourself in your head that you have made a conscious choice to detach yourself from a thought, an idea, a dream.  (A point in hand – do not detach yourself from too many of your dreams.  They make your present liveable).  Then you stand objective and feel how it feels to be ‘without’ whatever it was.  A person, a situation, a memory.  In analysing that feeling – the emptiness – are you honest enough to admit to yourself that lurking on the sidelines of your thinking is the forgotten whatever it was?  It is always watching you try to forget it.  You are busy trying to forget how it feels to be with that thing.  How it is to carry its weight.  It’s just not possible.  The minute you turn your back you will find that your subconscious is busy soliciting the forbidden thinking.  It’s rebellious like that.  So how to really let go?  You have to make an arrangement with your heart to let go.  Heart holds on tight.  In fact, it is a bit like a child.  It holds tight to what keeps it happy.  Your mind can understand that you must separate yourself from something that is causing complications in your life.  Your heart can’t.  Heart accepts all and this makes for complications.  Complications are put where they are to keep us from getting too easy with being.  Life demands respect and should you fail to show due respect for its display it will send you reminders that you are merely human.  Each time a complexity unveils itself in your space – like an unexpected emotional outburst, or a twist in your life path that you were not expecting – it is a small test of your capacity.  If you freak out each time life hands you something you thought you did not require, think again.  You never get what you don’t need.  You have made sure of that.  Learn to accept what it is that has been put on your plate and work with it rather than against it – that is better for your development.  If you keep fighting the learning you are sent you will have to keep being taught.  That can be guaranteed.

We have all heard this:  If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back to you it is yours.  If it doesn’t, it never was.  How about this – you are making a mistake if you set what you love, free.  You have to think of both sides.  Who are you to free what it is that you love in the first place?  It was never yours to set free, or hold on to.  Love is a force.  It is true unto itself.  Love chooses what it wants because of what you need.  It is considerate that way.  Love is alive.  It is not something superficial, something to be trifled with, something you can cling to.  You cannot cling to love.  You cannot bend it to your will.  It dictates its flow, you just have to hold on tight and know that wherever it is going will be interesting.  It is surprisingly powerful, love.  It can make you do things you thought were impossible.  It can make you push yourself harder than anything else can push you.  It can make you feel things that you cannot explain and perhaps do not want to explain.  Love defies labelling.  It is nothing but itself.  It tickles.  It hurts.  It keeps you from feeling alone – that is why it is in you in the first place.  We are born alone?  We are only born alone in the sense that until we take our first independent breath we are empty of spirit.  We die alone?  I do not think we die alone.  I think we die safe in the arms of our deepest beliefs once consciousness is shut off.  That means death is nothing to fear.  It is just a part of life.  Where your head goes – now that is where you want to be concentrating your energies.  That is where you will end up for your eternity.

 

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12 Apr 2013 · 09:14

Blame – Blog No. 31

FingerPointingThe very first thing you need to understand about blame is that it is a waste of your time.  It is absolutely pointless.  Do not weaken your standpoint in life by whining about who did what.  You allow what happens to you to happen to you.  Understand this.  Take accountability, do not lay blame.  The power in taking accountability will make itself apparent in your everyday.  Be proud of who you are, what you believe and why you choose to do what you do.  Taking accountability is empowering.  It is not a punishment.  It is standing up and saying, ‘Yes.  That was me.’  That is self-awareness.  Self-belief.  Recognition.  Have faith in your actions, your (mis)deeds, your subconscious striving for actualisation.  The striving keeps us alive and faith in yourself is never wasted.  You must take accountability for your thoughts, too.  I would like to point out that it does help – both yourself and others – if you would add to your statement of fact, ‘… and my reasons for doing said such and such, were …’.  Give reasons willingly.  They help with clarity.  I have learned that in most instances it is a waste of time to hide your justifications.  We all have that painful desire to justify our existence.  It’s there.  It is a part of wanting to be understood.  We would all like to feel understood, it’s a deep-seated need.  How many people have you trusted with your insides?  We cannot know someone or understand them until they have shown us their insides.  That is how it is.

Remember that taking accountability is not taking responsibility.  Responsibility is a whole different kettle of fish.  It depends on your need to play the martyr – and we all have that tendency at times – as to how much responsibility you will take on that is not yours to carry.  Only carry what is yours.  You must understand that you are not responsible for another’s reality.  You are not responsible for the illusion they are living.  You are not responsible for their existence.  Until you can consciously penetrate another’s thoughts you are not in any way responsible for their thinking, either.  Know that.   A person’s choices are their’s alone and for those choices they will pay penalties or reap rewards when the time comes.  And the time is coming.  Soon we will find ourselves blending with the futures we have selected for ourselves.  It will be interesting to see who is happy with their lot and who is not.  Should you not be happy with how your future is going to look – given that its reality is based on your projections at present – then you had better start shifting your mindset.  That starts with realising who you are at this moment and being proud of the person you have become.  Know that personal pride is not a waste of time.  You did not get to where you are by accident.  Please remember that you are always becoming.  That is evolution.  That is going forwards, meeting your real self (time and again) – and reaching your full potential.  Reaching your full potential is what you are here to do.  So do it.

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08 Apr 2013 · 09:18

How real are you? – Blog No. 30

inner-childHow seriously do you take yourself?  I hope that you pay yourself due attention.  Know when to be serious about your life, but know that if you are too serious you run the risk of missing the point of being.  We are also on this planet to play.  Each of us humans has a child inside of us that requires indulgence and parenting.  Even if you have no children of your own, realise that you are still a parent.  You are a parent to yourself.  You cannot avoid this role.  That voice you hear nagging in your head, that chase you feel in yourself when you are doing right, or wrong, that is part of being responsible for your person.  Do you respect your inner parent?  How do you respond to its criticism?  Do you hear criticism, or do you hear words of love and encouragement?  Listen and decide.  What type of parent are you?  Analyse your patterns and your proclivities.  As both child, and parent.  You will see in your style of parenting your understanding of yourself.  You want to understand yourself, your inner child.  You will find in the child your shelved dreams.  Your core beliefs.  How you respond to the world of your inner child is of grave consequence.  Should you show no respect for its evidence you will find yourself relying solely on your conditioning to get you by in this life of trials.  The child has no qualms about leaving you to your own devices.  It has enough with which to occupy itself.  Should you ignore it, it will ignore you.  A warning – do not rely on your conditioning.  It is not who you are.  It is who you have learned to be and in that you may as well be an automaton.  Be who you are.  Work around that which is already in you – your conditioning.  It is essential if we wish to meet our real selves.  Separate from what you know.  Find yourself in the unknown.

Your parent is a construct.  Understand that. You have built it into what it is.  Now take its essence and mould it to the kind of parent you know your inner child needs.  Make the conscious choice to give yourself what is necessary to bring out your best.  That is in your power.  It is good to know you have power.  Use it.

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05 Apr 2013 · 11:34

Armchair idealism – Blog. No 29

wheelchairWhat is the point of sitting in your armchair thinking about the changes you would like to see in the world?  There is no point to that.  You have to do something constructive in order that your thoughts have any sway at all, otherwise you might as well not bother having them.  Thoughts without an active thinker are not helpful.  As I have said before, act rather than don’t in this world because your voice – however you choose to speak – might be the one that makes the difference.  The good news is that there are a great many situations in our world that need improving.  This world is as yet far from perfect and that means there is a lot to work on.  We are a lot.  The odds are in our favour should we put our minds to making a change; we can make a statement and simultaneously tidy up some residual untidyness.

Should you dislike circus animals, for instance, then find out how the Netherlands set about banning performing animals from their country and get busy making that statement in your own arena.  How about this time being the person who stands up and does something instead of being the disillusionist sitting on the sidelines griping?  Do you know how tiring a whining voice?  It precludes itself from being heard.

Boycott oriental arts across the board because the Asians refuse to honour life on earth, refuse on principle to visit zoos and circuses because your money is what keeps these sideshows in business.  Do not forget that there are a lot of animals currently trapped in circuses and housed in zoos.  What will happen to those helpless creatures once the circuses shut down and the zoos lose their patronage – because I do believe that they eventually all will.  Perhaps there are private reserves that could house these wild orphans.  Perhaps.  One would hope that when they are freed from their particular brand of slavery they will find their way to a place they could call home.  It will not be the wild as it once was in their blood, but it could be a safe haven free from prying eyes and ringmaster’s whips.  I believe there is place in Africa for every one of these exploited animals.  Africa is like that with her big heart.

I marvel at man’s audacity.  He attempts to tame the wild and uses his mastery to bring misery to living creatures.  I am sure this was never our purpose.

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02 Apr 2013 · 09:31

The Church – Blog No. 28

2013-03-30T022503Z_3_CBRE92S1PDG00_RTROPTP_2_POPEIt has to be said, I am not a happy-clapper.  I am called ‘Catholic’, though I have not had my first holy communion nor have I been confirmed.  I have never sat in a confessional and told on myself.  I have never eaten the bread of Christ or drunk his blood.  I am skeptical about the religion Catholicism.  I am skeptical about the efficacy of the pope.  How can a man of his stature in this day and age be that against gay marriage?  Because it says so in the bible.  The bible is old news.  It adheres only to itself and in our globalising world that is dangerous, and irresponsible.  The bible says if you dare to be gay that you will suffer eternal damnation.  That is why these leaders must spout their nonsense about hell and gaydom.  Who of these leaders has been to the other side?  I would like to ask them that question.  How many gays have they seen burning in hell for their particular practice of passion?  I suspect not one, not really.  That they are condemned is a man-made thing.  The reality is that gays burn on earth.  Still.  And it’s not right.  That those who are gay suffer the prejudice they do bothers me.  Why exactly should you care who somebody else finds appealing?  Male, female – we all search to find that someone with whom we can ultimately be ourselves.  Our best mirror.  This search is constant.  Why should you be minding the business of a woman who chooses to be with another woman because the fit suits her needs better?  All her needs.  Why should it make your blood boil to think of two men in bed?  You should not be bothering so much about thinking of those things.  Let people be.  You do not have to condone every kind of behaviour.  Your personal rules will dictate to you what is not for you.  Let that realisation be enough.  If it is not for you, it is not for you.  It might be everything for someone else.  Be curious about gayness, if you must be something.  Do not be rude.  Who are you in the life of another to tell them where their heart may or may not fall?  The heart is notorious for making its own choices.  Trust your heart’s intelligence.  It fell where it did for a perfect reason.  It falls again, when it is ready.  Let it.

My concern is that the Catholic church is as rich as it is.  Do you have any idea what their property portfolio is like?  It’s obscene.  Do you have any idea the nett worth of the church?  Again, it’s obscene.  I would suggest to them that if they are as samaritan as they like to tell us they are, then they should donate nearly every cent of their revenue to the poor.  It’s about time they gave back.  They need to scale down their opulence; auction the treasures in their troves and sell a handful of their properties – and give the money away.  The church should never run at a profit and more importantly, it should grow itself up and stop trading on fear.  A god who keeps his people in line by threatening their existence is a childish god.  His notion of leading the Jesus-believers is out-dated.  You cannot hold a people in a cage forever on an empty promise.  Whoever believes that the church (and by this I suppose I mean all the churches under the Christian umbrella) is purely a charitable institution is deluded or misinformed.  The church has probably done as much harm as it has good, I think it is important to remember this.  How many honest worlds have the missionaries destroyed with their over-zealous preaching?  A lot.  How many very sick paedophiles did we find hiding under the Catholic shroud?  Too many.  How many Catholic orphanages were run by depraved abusers who acted with impunity?  Too many.  Did we hear from the church a clear condemnation of these people?  No – we heard a watered-down apology for ‘misconduct’ time and again.  In fact I think the Catholic church is one of the best at evading taking responsibility for itself.  Perhaps it needs help.  Perhaps it has never been able to ask for help?  It thinks too much of itself, Christianity.  That is not wise.  But the church is not wise.  It is self-indulgent, inflexible, and it is flawed.  I would like it to see itself for what it is.  I would like it to realise sometime soon that in this world, people go to jail for fraud.

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29 Mar 2013 · 11:13

Life/Death – Blog No. 27

Mother_Nature_by_pincel3dConsider that when your energy moves from this incarnation into another one, your journey continues.  Your starting point is where you left off.  You do not escape your fate.  Each time we leave we take with us our learning and when we return to adopt a new embodiment we face upon our paths further trials that will teach us to respect the mistakes we have made during the cycle of our lifetimes.  Understand that should you be bound back to earth, or choose to return time and again, each time you come back to take human form you commit to a life of learning.  This is no small undertaking.  The only way to extract yourself from this natural cycle is to kill yourself, and the flow of life does not look favourably on those who patently refuse to learn.  Life is not precious about who it teaches, what.  It has plenty to show us, so much to share with us.  You need to connect with your life, open to it, in order to receive its gifts.  If you are closed, you receive nothing.  You receive nothing because you are giving nothing.  Life is an energy, a living force, a history in motion.  We are the sum of our histories, the picture of our pasts.  You are not a snapshot, happening.  You are in continuum.  It is important to remember that life happens for us, not to us.  We should appreciate its show.  Also, know that life is not personal and therefore it should not be taken personally.  Death is not personal, either.  It just is.  When your due day is approaching, you may know about it, you may not.  You should not know exactly your last moment.  That is not for you to know.  Think – if you know about it you are taking big risks.  You are throwing down a gauntlet.  When you take your own life you are stealing breath from Nature’s lungs.  Nature does not like thieves.  She does not understand how a human being cannot honour living by showing trust – no matter how drastic a depression or challenging one’s circumstance.  Hers is the life-force and it does not know how to stop striving to keep us all alive.  Should you cut short her transfusion to you, you will suffer the outcome of that severence.  That outcome is a lonely place to be.  Nature moves on with her business.  She does not loiter in the shadows, begging for alms, pleading her case or yours.  She takes stock and she moves on towards equilibrium.  We should realise that we are all on her path to equilibrium.  Each of us.  We should sit back and happen, watch ourselves act, trust in her guidance, because it is what will get us to the other side.  The other side is where we exist, at perfection.  Each of us.  That place perfection is real.  There are those who have achieved perfection with their lives.  Not many, but there are those.   Utopia does exist.  Living and dying are equally likely to find you a place there.  It just depends how you live, and how you die.  You must be sure when you die that you have all your ducks in a row.  You cannot die with business unfinished.  When you take your life you are taking yourself out of the equation and leaving unfinished business.  Nature does not like unfinished business.  She will insist that you return to pick up your own mess.  No one is in charge of your life, but you.  Nature was in charge of your birth.  She  is in charge of your death. Trust that she knows best your moment to go.  Take that privilege from her and you will find yourself lost on the other side without a ready guide.  That is Nature’s way.   Should you wish to take her on, you will see that she will simply transform you.  She transforms herself, all the time.  To transform us is her job.  She doesn’t take lightly to having her job dictated by humans.  She will collect you when she is ready, not before.

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25 Mar 2013 · 10:00

Say what you mean – Blog No. 26

speak_your_mind_bigThere isn’t time to be misunderstood in this world.  There really isn’t.  Given that time is at a premium for most people it would make sense that when you do communicate you are direct and clear.  That way, when people lend you their ears they will be pleasantly surprised to find that what you have to say is relevant.  Do not speak for the sake of speaking.  There is no greater noise on this planet than senseless words.  Speak because you have something to share, something to ask, or something constructive to say.  It is easier said than done, but keep your empty words to yourself.  Your voice – particularly when it is whining about life – does not reach the ears of the gods.  They hear a different tone.  If the gods do not wish to hear your whining, then it is safe to say that no human being wishes to hear your whining, either.  It is hard some days not to whine.  Understandably.  But your words are so tiring when you drag that feeling of defeat into your every conversation.

Take control of what you tell people.  Moderate your own comments before you make them.  People do not need to know your every negative thought, know that.  There are too many people talking noisily about nothing in this world.  There are too many people following roads that go nowhere, giving a running commentary on their travelling experience.  The true journey only begins when your feet find the right road.  That is when you touch base with something sacred and your commentary becomes relevant.  You will hear yourself clearly when your say-so is from your heart.  Others will hear you clearly, too.  Understand that until the moment – the psychological moment – that your commentary becomes relevant to you, you are confined to the corners of your life.  Speaking from your own periphery is pointless.  Speak directly to – and from – your core.  Realise that sometimes you may surprise yourself with the things you say.  Get used to being forthright, but practice not speaking your every thought.  You are asking someone else to listen when you open your mouth.  That is the way of humans.  Make sure when you ask someone to listen to you, you have something to contribute to their day.  That is the first thing.  Out of respect, do not waste another’s time by whining in their ears.  That makes two of you tired and contributes nothing to either of your lives.  Speak to be understood.  To do that – understand yourself.  Observe yourself without judging your behaviours.  That will bring you a new understanding and a new wisdom that you will find it relevant to share.  Watch yourself change, evolve.  Give yourself permission to grow.  You will find that you do.

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22 Mar 2013 · 12:03

The Wonder of Love – Blog No. 25

love-is-lightChildren must be taught so that they learn to understand love.  This is possibly the single most important task of every adult on this planet.  Love is an art worth studying, and sharing.  It is worth finding and having in your life.  It does not come without compromise and it has numerous side-effects.  Should there be any doubt, know that the side-effects are worth it.  Love is extraordinarily powerful.  It cannot be consumed.  It is ever-present and ongoing.  It is like a phoenix, rising each time from the ashes.  We can love over and over.  We can love everybody in our lives differently.  I do not believe that we love the same each time.  Our love is shaped by the individual we find ourselves connected with.  It is moulded by the children to whom we give life and learning.  The love generated in the 1960’s and 1970’s is still circumnavigating this globe, its waves are still felt in our hemispheres.  That kind of resonance never dies.  We all have a lot to thank free love for.  There was a lot of oxytocin-induced euphoria happening.  Perhaps the permissiveness of that time did not do society’s moral code any good, and that permissiveness bred a contempt – or lack of respect – for one another that it was not possible at the time to express, but that period is punctuated by a big love and for a while that feeling made a real difference in the world.  I believe it changed the arc of man’s path, there were that many believers.  When you have a large sector of the population feeling optimistic and in love with life, life thrives.

Then people became disillusioned, and people are still disillusioned.  That in itself could open an interesting line of enquiry – whether or not it is advisable in the here and now to realise that everything is an illusion?  Perhaps it is wise to accept that we live our illusions.  Must we consider that we became disillusioned because our leaders made too many empty promises, too often?  When mouths and minds speak of nothing then we eventually hear nothing.  That is the way with ears, tongues.  Perhaps we are disillusioned because the scaffolding of this world is taking major strain where its religions are concerned.  We feel like we are living a giant lie since no one – no two parties can agree – what God even is.  If it can be said that we all base our lives on our belief systems then it can be said that what we believe is very relevant.  Each of us.  If we can find common ground with our vision for the future then we can make positive changes happen and relieve some of the strain on the infrastructure, which is ultimately source.  Raw energy.  Most of us take our source for granted and we fail to appreciate that although it does not have a beginning or an end it has limits.  We must respect these limits.  We must put back into the system what is given, always.  It is time.  We must all bend our heads towards mending the planet, the force of collective thought can change this world’s destiny.

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