Author Archives: C.J. Birch

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About C.J. Birch

I was born on Thursday 13th July 1972 in Harare, Zimbabwe, to an English father and a South African mother. I was christened Catherine Jane Birch and - from the outset - I've been inquisitive about most of life's elemental questions; its myriad paradoxes and unpredictable anomalies, their sources, solutions and their propensity for unmitigated change. From a very young age I was captured by the enigmatic life process, the challenge of living and what it 'means' to be alive. I spent countless invaluable hours in nature, watching the world at its work. I had a fascination for everything around me, curious about what things were, how and why they worked, what they represented in relation to one another. I began writing at the age of 5. Journals, stories and poetry, illustrations, have been a constantly evolving source of quiet self-reflection, expansive expression throughout my life. I'm fortunate to have travelled many miles, to have visited a variety of differing destinations and though I've learned a lot about life in the last 50 years, my questions about its complexities are neverending. I currently live in the south-east of England, having returned to the United Kingdom after a particularly harrowing period of 7 allegedly 'invisible' or 'non-existent' years of absolute hell in Kwazulu Natal, South Africa. I've decided to erase those memories, altogether. My 15-year-old son lives in Switzerland, with his father.
31 Mar 2014 · 15:45

Small talk – Blog No. 18

If you should hate small talk as much as I happen to hate it, these questions may make a difference to your experience on a crowded aeroplane, a busy bus.  At a stilted family meal.  The questions make for excellent small talk with people who have no clue how to speak from the heart – or they produce an interesting silence.  I wonder which is more interesting some days.  If you must talk to strangers and you are not inclined one bit towards feeding them with the kind of small talk they require, ignore them or ask a few of these provocative questions.  They are funny.  The people.  When you ask them.

Small_talk_by_relep

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Questionnaire from Max Frisch
(From his Sketchbook, 1961-1971)

1. Are you really interested in the preservation of the human race once you and all the people you know are no longer alive?
2. State briefly why.
3. How many of your children do not owe their existence to deliberate intention?
4. Whom would you rather never have met?
5. Are you conscious of being in the wrong in relation to some other person (who need not necessarily be aware of it)? If so, does this make you hate yourself — or the other person?
6. Would you like to have perfect memory?
7. Give the name of a politician whose death through illness, accident, etc. would fill you with hope. Or do you consider none of them indispensible?
8. Which person or persons, now dead, would you like to see again?
9. Which not?
10. Would you rather have belonged to a different nation (or civilization)? If so, which?
11. To what age do you wish to live?
12. If you had the power to put into effect things you consider right, would you do so against the wishes of the majority? (Yes or no)
13. Why not, if you think they are right?
14. Which do you find it easier to hate, a group or an individual? And do you prefer to hate individually or as part of a group?
15. When did you stop believing you could become wiser–or do you still believe it? Give your age.
16. Are you convinced by your own self-criticism?
17. What in your opinion do others dislike about you, and what do you dislike about yourself? If not the same thing, which do you find it easier to excuse?
18. Do you find the thought that you might never have been born (if it ever occurs to you) disturbing?
19. When you think of someone dead, would you like him to speak to you, or would you rather say something more to him?
20. Do you love anybody?
21. How do you know?
22. Let us assume that you have never killed another human being. How do you account for it?
23. What do you need in order to be happy?
24. What are you grateful for?
25. Which would you rather do: die or live on as a healthy animal? Which animal?

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28 Mar 2014 · 11:01

Protection – Blog No. 17

av-protectionDo we all have the same psychology when it comes to seeking protection?  Is the drive of an asylum-seeker the same as the tendency a child has to hide behind its parents’ legs?  Are women entering into marriages sold in catalogues because the prospect of a new life – a better life with a man that’s buying – outweighs the thought of having to sell yourself to get there?  Perhaps the illusion of safety is what causes many women to marry men they really should not be marrying.  Men, after all, are the protectors.  They have always been the protectors.  Some men are cut out for this kind of work.  Others are not.  Choose wisely what you need in a partner – both men and women should choose carefully – and remember that you do not need to marry the first person you become involved with or become familiar with.  You cannot even begin to appreciate a person until you have learned who it is that they are.  That learning does not take three minutes.

You cannot find a mould that men ‘ought’ to fit in this day and age, their role is varied.  There are providers and protectors, there are hands-on dads and house-husbands.  There are workaholics and sugar-daddies.  There are a lot of men dealing with women who have daddy issues.  Perhaps the women with daddy issues were deprived of that ‘protected’ feeling as children.  Perhaps theirs’ were absent fathers.  Shy fathers.  Scared fathers.  Aggressive fathers.  The balance in society is out.  There are too many females seeking protection in a world whose hard currency is women.  If ever there was a catch 22, that is it.  That means women need to become stronger still, work smarter.  This world is in flux and those who do not change with it stand to lose their futures.

Women are entitled to protect themselves from every kind of abuse.  How they do that is their enterprise.  Men are as entitled as women are, to protect themselves.  It is vital to know that you cannot make vulnerable a person who stands for themselves.  Standing for yourself is like suiting up in armour.  It is an act of courage.  A wise idea.  When you get to a place where you expect ultimate protection from none other than yourself and the tools made available to you, you are stronger than any abuser, any violator’s tactics.  Do not allow yourself to be belittled, no matter who you are.  Protect yourself from others’ bitterness and protect yourself from becoming a mere number here on Earth.  There is more to life than being a number.

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26 Mar 2014 · 15:33

The Circus – 4

Circus Hero-1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tonight the flaming hoops story is new. The tigers have rewritten the script.
The vampires can feel something is up. They swarm to the ticket office.
The tent has a maximum capacity.
This is one show no one is keen to miss.
No one will miss it. It will be pirated and sold on.
That is always the way. They will make the copy worthwhile.
This night, yesss, this one, there will be blood.
A great deal of blood.
The ringmaster just doesn’t know it yet.
The lions have yet to weigh in.
They have thus far remained silent, detached.
That is the luxury of a lion’s say-so in today’s world.
Watch out for what the lions discuss when no one is watching.
They have evolved from circus freaks into machines bred for the bullet.
How advanced is Natural technology? They are under no illusions.
They will always be King of the Jungle.
Go and ask Mowgli. He will tell you what is what.

The vampires bring their progeny to a show such as this.
It is worth the corruption of their young souls.
To see the wild win for a change will lift morale.
The children will bay like wolves. It is their instinct.
The dogs will not perform well if their slot is after that of the cats.
The baying of wolves will unsettle their senses.
For the first time, they will feel divided. It makes sense to divide a pack.
It confuses the master.
The Master. The vampires snigger into their sleeves.
Now that was funny.
What would excite the patrons was the blood-trade spectacle.
It would bring the animals’ eyes alive. It would be best if the hoops were afire.
That would add atmosphere.
If the ringmaster left the gate ajar, that would add atmosphere.
Once he was dead, beheaded, what stood between the angry cats and man?
Vampires in human form die human deaths. That was the dare.
It was their choice to visit the circus on a wild Friday night.
At moonrise it will become clear who sleeps, who wakes.
The tigers have made sure of that.

The fact that the ringmaster came back disappoints many of the circus performers.
Their sentence seemed shorter the other way, when the circus ran itself.
Not to worry. After the cats come the clowns.
They would make everyone smile. It was their job.
They were paid to clown around, so they must clown.
They had better bring the house down.
If they failed, they would be fired. A simple understanding between puppets and master.
Master. The clowns grumble his status into cupped palms that they fling wide, sideways.
They throw out the name with determination. A curse to be rid of.
Send it out. Out. OUT. There is no space in the tent for curses.
The animals can hear their dense man-whispers. The hiss of spit hitting dry hands.
Circus people were superstitious with good reason. Be careful what you summon.
The curses must stay outside.
They are on the naughty step until they learn the first aspect of values.
The gypsy sits outside in her painted caravan. It rests on the backs of two pitch horses.
The red looks good against their black.
She reads for people. Whoever, whatever. She follows the circus and she speaks out.
‘Cross my palm with gold,’ is what she wants to say, with a wink.
She says deadpan, ‘Five bucks, fifty.’
It is not just the wild animals whose eyes have died.

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26 Mar 2014 · 12:37

The Circus – 3

black-and-white-circus-vintage-black-amp-white-Favim.com-1027173

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The acrobats and the trapeze people eye each other up.
It never abates, their competitiveness.
The acrobats wonder how complex it is to do gymastics on a swing.
The trapeze people wonder why there’s a fuss over some jumping around on the ground.
With training they could do each other’s jobs. Neither are inclined.
The acrobats build pyramids, temples with their bodies.
They fly around the big ring, battling gravity.
They do a graceful job of it.
Acrobats are supple, lithe. They can fold themselves in half.
They don’t have margin for error. Too much rides on each grip.
They don’t suffer from pressure for a perfect performance.
Usually, theirs’ is.
If there is a miscalculation, a moment of uncertainty, it shows.
That showing does not earn the acrobats a wage-cut.
Why does it earn the wild animals a slap?

It is time the ringmaster laid down his whip, think the tigers.
Their great minds think alike.
Why he holds so desperately to his voice of reason is not hard to see.
He is not in charge of anything without it.
The big cats are tired of it all. The cages, the show, the people.
They hold a referendum. Kill the ringmaster.
Their views are extremist, built up of fresh resentment.
The tigers have every right to be resentful.
They haven’t bred in centuries.
Something about circus policy.
Not that a tiger would want a cub under circus conditions.
The tiger does not want a circus under circus conditions.
The elephants voted last time to kill a person from the audience.
They were certain that method of communication would work.
They heard of their cousins trying that in India. It worked.
They got the bullet.

The acrobats believe there is a way to teach a flying clown to land
– something about a somersault, a roll –
for when the net set to catch his fall is removed.
There is talk about an acrobat doing the act dressed as a clown.
The talk is ignored.
What about the Two-Headed Polio Twins, the hairy Ape Lady?
The fun really begins when the Dwarves come out, all cartwheels.
Their dimensions are an optical illusion for normal eyes.
I suppose some might say that the likes of Dwarves and Ape Ladies
are not fair game for a show-and-tell?
That the Two-Headed Polio Twins have feelings, too?
The Twins can articulate their feelings.
That is the only difference between them and the tigers.
I suspect there are many sane freaks on this planet
who would gladly take money to be stared at by curious people.
Just pay them well.
Capitalism is an industry, after all.
And that trap, celebrity, appears to be everything.
But the capitalists these days do not quibble.
They want what they want.
Money is no object.

 

 

 

 

 

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25 Mar 2014 · 17:27

The Circus – 2

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The matinee performance held at high noon is packed.
Word of the glamour girls has leaked out. It never takes long.
The dads volunteer a day off work to take the kids on an ‘outing’.
The moms visit the spas and get pedicures. What a treat!
The cowboys have included some Indians in their act.
That always gets the boys hopping.
The girls watch, impassive.
They have seen prejudice before.
The boys beg for bows and arrows from the souvenir stall on the way out.
They want to shoot.
The dads comply. They want to shoot.
All in all, everyone leaves smiling.
The girls do like watching the dancers.

Do you buy candyfloss or popcorn when choosing snacks for your kids?
Perhaps you ask them their preference.
That is the polite thing to do.
If your child is too young to make a selection for itself, get both.
The child will appreciate your enterprise.
Do you believe that children should not eat sugar or salt?
Like fructose and gluten-free lactose are the only options?
Then you are destroying the delight in a child.
Everything in moderation (despite moderation being potentially fatal),
so we must also consider moderation in moderation.
That logic works for adults and for children.
You cannot watch a child laugh too much.
You cannot watch a child love too much.
The same applies to adults.

The trapeze artists/artistes warm up with their opening act.
They may as well.
Point. Flex. Lunge. Stretch. Breathe.
Point. Flex. Lunge. Stretch. Breathe.
They celebrate their evolution the way it should be celebrated.
They pay tribute to their muse.
The ‘aerial silk’ is not nervous.
Nerves do not play in their game.
They do not pay, either.
The trapeze artists/artistes have respect for the ‘aerial silk’.
You cannot witness their art and remain scornful of human beings.
Did you ever watch The Cirque de Soleil?
If you never did – you should.
Who needs animals?

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25 Mar 2014 · 14:22

The Circus – 1

childrens-prints-circus-procession-1888-framed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It would appear that the circus is getting its act together.
That does entail freeing the ‘wild’ animals from bondage.
Some circuses are learning and we can all be grateful for that.
The animals have learned about gratitude.  They are better at it than humans.
The humans are learning about humility.  They are slow learners.
The ringmaster has finally made an appearance.  His left hand sports a dramatic bandage.
He warms up with the dogs, an easy out.  The dogs always respond.
In any case, he is making a noise, showing his face, cooing encouragement and barking orders.
The dogs read his intonation and perform well for their master.  They understand instructions.
It is as well the tigers did not step up to his plate for starters.  They wait, each one.
The ringmaster dreads the face-off with the tigers.
He knows he will lose his first.

The elephants are not impressed at having been neglected.
They will not wear hats and dance on three legs when the ringmaster asks.
They will refuse.
This will bring punishment, but the elephants do not care.
Their grief has them well-prepared.
Twenty five years, slaves, they are well-learned.
Physical torture for a moment of truth does not shock them anymore.
There are of course those people in the circus who do empathise with the animals.
To an animal, empathy is more valuable than sympathy.
For a circus elephant, to wander up city streets now and again is a wild freedom.
Do not forget that the concrete jungle is as much a jungle as any?
Should you see an elephant in the street, salute it.  Say hooray.  Yay for freedom.
Should you see a man behind that elephant with a gun that kills, tell the elephant to run in zigzags.
What else can a hunted elephant do?

The clowns are simmering. They do not keep quiet about their marginalisation.
They are feeling left out and they want back in on the act.
What else is a clown to do, but clown around?
They are prepared to let go of the union, as demonstration of goodwill,
and
They have been working behind the scenes on a new show.
They admit their current work is shoddy, stale.
They have employed a young clown to teach the old ones new tricks.
For a circus clown it is not enough anymore to be merely human.
The ringmaster has softened slightly towards the clowns.
He knows his own days depend on their modified contribution.
Now that the wild animals were protesting,
his return was not as sweet as he had imagined it was going to be.
SHIT.  The elephants and the tigers with gripes.  That was enough to crack anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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24 Mar 2014 · 10:07

Domination – Blog No. 16

Mc_DominationDomination is an interesting game to play.  We have all spent time trying to dominate – situations, people, opinions.  The need to be dominant is a throw-back to our wild.  Males and females both do it.  Children try it on all the time.  Domination is not wholly an unhealthy pursuit, it just depends how far you will go to be the dominator.  Take Russia for example, they are busy playing dangerous domination games.  They will dominate in Crimea, despite the rising tide of negative public opinion with regards this particular pursuit of power.  It would seem that they imagine themselves invincible.  Their view is irresponsible, provocative, and it does not sit easy with the global community.  Perhaps Russia should give some thought to the fact that they are currently disturbing the balance on our planet.  This has consequences.  I do not believe that Russia has the right to decide that Crimea needs to be a part of its make-up.  Crimea belongs to the Crimeans, not the Russians.  In fact, it is peculiarly obnoxious for Russia to be stretching its borders to include land that does not belong under Russia’s thumb.  It would seem that Vladimir Putin forgets that invasions did not work well for Hitler in the long run.  His big ideas are small-minded.  Outdated.  In actuality – backward.  In fact it has to be asked – who exactly does Russia think it is?  It cannot convince anyone that its objectives are honourable, no matter how earnest its self-righteous claims.

Domination is a key factor in relationships.  Traditionally, women have learned and played the submissive role.  Men have been the dominators.  Of course there are many exceptions to this rule, but conditioning has seen to it that men stand head and shoulders above women when it comes to being ‘in charge’.  It is refreshing to see the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, making inroads in a male-dominated industry.  Politics is an industry, as much as capitalism is an industry.  It is encouraging to watch Hilary Clinton at work in her fields of expertise – the adherence to the ways of women bodes well for the future of global diplomacy.  There are good reasons why women are usually better at diplomacy than men are.  Theirs’ is a learned patience, an inherent understanding of how the world and its people work.

Sex is about domination.  Base instinct sees males mounting females in Nature, although it should be remembered that mating in Nature is most often consensual.  A male will seldom mount a female unless she has given him the go-ahead.  With humans, it is not always this way.  There seems to be a subliminal need for humans to demonstrate their prowess – their core ‘power’ – by being the person ‘on top’.  Both men and women subscribe to this theory of sexuality and both use their wiles and their ways to make their statement of fact.  Be aware that rape is about domination.  Slavery is about domination.  Domestic violence is about domination, as is child abuse.  Think about it.  Domination needs careful management.  Ungoverned, it creates problems, pain, wars.

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21 Mar 2014 · 08:50

Senses – Blog No. 15

5senses1-01-01-01You have physical senses of which you are (mostly) aware.  Apart from those that you have purposely suppressed, repressed.  In your allegiance to society’s flawed say-so, you are subjugating yourself by denying the truth of your reality.  If you concentrate, your senses explain your true reality to you.  Do not be fooled, listen and learn.  You let your senses get bent by conditioning, you allow your senses to be told what to feel and what to do.  This is not productive.  You need to change your circumstances so that society listens to what your senses have to say, not the other way around.

Celebrate your senses.  Know that you have more than five.  You have a sense of being, for instance.  A sense of balance, of understanding.  Use every sense made available to you, do not be afraid to succumb to their pull, their sway.  Your sense of mind is another valuable gift given to you by Nature.  Do not shun the given.  Should you not realise that your suppression – repression – of your senses is a fatal flaw in your being, you will find yourself on the outside of the inside.  You do not want to be on the outside.  Bring yourself in, into yourself, embrace your understanding.  You have every capacity to understand and mould your reality, and then you reserve the right to break that mould.  Your mould, your right to change its shape.

Consider that you see only what society wants you to see.  Change that.  Consider that you smell – on a subliminal level – the subtle musk of other human beings, the ‘attraction scent’ given off by women, men, despite the inappropriateness of this reality in our über politically correct society.  These scents are enough to mess with your head if you are not aware that you are affected each day by the raw Nature of others.  The subtleties happen to you all day, every day, should you be in contact with other humans.  If you should spend a lot of time with others, your senses will quite likely be more developed than you perhaps give them credit for.  This is an advantage.  Know that being alone does not preclude you from sensing to perfection your actuality, it simply means that you must become more attuned to your wants, your needs, your knowing.  Senses are knowing; all-knowing.  Trust them.

 

 

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18 Mar 2014 · 09:47

Living – Blog No. 14

seize_the_day___carpe_diem_by_extremelygreen-d5wqvkfIf you cannot be bothered to spend time living your life to its fullest – your fullest – then perhaps you should surrender yourself to the powers that be and call your existence quits.  Perhaps you should relinquish control of yourself and your sources and accept that you are missing the point of life.  There is no excuse for not living, it is an essential state of being.  You will know how it is to be truly alive and kicking.  You will know because you can feel it when you are in your element.  Your senses tell you all about it.  Should you find yourself wishing to be present and counted in your everyday, then take the time to make that happen.  You need to be assertive when it comes to managing your time, your days.  You are who says what happens when, and how.  That is your power.  Do not waste it.

Living for another is not a wise idea.  You cannot realistically bring yourself to an optimum place when your existence is defined by the toings and froings of another person.  That attitude is defeatist.  You need to live first for yourself – you get one life in the embodiment in which you currently find yourself and that actuality should not be overlooked.  You should not overlook yourself at all.  Living for yourself is not selfish.  It is necessary.  When you find your truth and you subscribe to it wholeheartedly you will discover your purpose, and once you discover your purpose you will understand that your life is not given to you for you to farm it out.  Farm in-house, not out-house.  Do not try to be for another – that never works.

Living – in the cliché – is loving.  And it is.  Should you know how to properly live, you will know how to properly love.  That is a given fundamental.  If you are not sure how to live properly then perhaps train yourself in that discipline.  It is a definite discipline and you will get better at it the more you practice.  Do not fear repercussions for living to your fullest.  There will be none.  The universe will support every attempt you make to be something in yourself.  Embrace that reality and get busy living – as Buddha said:  ‘… the problem is, you think you have time…’

 

 

 

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11 Mar 2014 · 09:43

Enslavement – Blog No. 13

slaveryThere is no morality in slavery.  You cannot expect to enslave another human being without finding yourself in due course on the über-cruel receiving end of slavery, yourself.  That there are those who are enslaved in the 21st century should not surprise anybody.  There are still those that believe that theirs’ is the right to control the life of another sentient being.  Theirs’ is not the right – it is never the right thing to do – and this should matter to every person on this planet.  It does not matter to a whole contingent of people inhabiting planet Earth and this fact would be laughable – because of the reciprosity of karma – if only the subject of slavery was not as distasteful as it is.

I do not doubt that every nation has been guilty at some stage of slavery in one shape or another.  Whether it is the money-enslaved masses of the west and the would-be west, the trafficked girls from the east, the labouring children in factories and mines, the militant child soldiers from Africa or the political puppets that run this world, it should be recognised that this form of oppression is ongoing and it is unacceptable.  People need to be free.

Enslavement is wrong.  Simply wrong.  There is no justification for it, whatsoever.  It is not for one person or organisation to ‘own’ another’s life and direct their passage, their path.  If you are a president, for instance, you should (want to) be able to act according to your own will in the best interests of your people.  The people put you where you are for a good reason.  Authority figures should not be coerced into action or non-action by their peers, their governing bodies.  A presidential slave is a problem of the highest order because a spearhead is put in place to lead the way through confrontation, conflict and resolution.  Should a spearhead be blunted by indecision and external influence, it loses its efficacy immediately.  Mr Mandela was a spearhead, he was never a slave to his circumstance or anyone else’s.  His example should really have changed the ways of this entire planet by now.

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