Tag Archives: Love

28 Dec 2014 · 22:59

Thinking – Blog No. 66

DEBUTANTE’S BALL

Don’t look at your feet, he said, or you will trip.  Look straight ahead, at the far side of the room.
We crowded the staircase for a posed photo
after raiding the car park for some car-stereo O.M.D.,
illicit beers and cigarettes
and
our chaperones’ better sense for underage champagne.
Sparkling wine, actually.
Mildly a-buzz
we accepted certificates for our virginity
and waited to be stormed by the eligible batchelors.
I am still waiting.
I have told you beowulf, I hate waiting.

I wait for you to bare your teeth at me in a riding-hood smile
I anticipate shooting that smile off your face.
Eagerly.
Smug bastard, take a hike to nowhereland.
I have no time free to send your shit into my dreams.
You better not have told me another bullshit rendition of your truth.
Thus far, I only know yours in condition, like as in conditional.
I don’t agree with that.  I agree with as is.
That means eclectic – a bit new, a bit old.
A bite-sized bit in the middle.

Until ever, there will be three.  I go for ply-policy.
Never put your ducks in a row.  They are too easy to shoot.
Always put your eggs in the basket.  It kept Moses alive.
©
DINNER AT ABDEL’S

The goat coming for supper was an added boon.
The invitation was so warm, sincere, it did not cross my mind to say no, thank you –
even though the taxi was a stranger
and
we were seven months pregnant.
We sat cross-legged at a knee-high table
dressed in blue and white
and
spread with kind gestures and sweet memories
I am fortunate enough to have shared.

The stars spoke to us of Islam and Islamicism
and
Anti-Islamic hators.
We dissected western interest in a tourist trap
and
I felt affronted at the lack of respect shown
to a land of faith, in a land of faith
that protects the feminine.
That was me, feeling.
Not suspicion, prejudice, fear, doubt or recrimination.
Just love.

The moon tricked us into talking past midnight
and
we invoked spirits in German, English, French, Muslim.
For I believe that Muslim is a language all of its own.
As is any, that cares enough for its people.
I delighted in your children’s certificates and songs
and
loved their shyness.
I felt like part of your family.
I am grateful that you showed us around.
It made Tunisia feel like home.
©

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24 Oct 2014 · 13:27

Birthright – Blog No. 59

birthright

As a citizen of planet Earth you have a birthright. Human rights, too. You should value both. They afford you a status loftier than a rock, for example. Your birthright is involved with your karma. If you do not believe in karma, that is perhaps foolish. Karma is an energy. A living force. It resonates at the same frequency that you do, hence your karma is always able to locate you.

Birthright – as a title – should include the following words in its explanation: safety, love, truth, understanding, choice. These are needs. I am not sure enough people on this planet have access to all of the above when they are born. Today’s birthright seems confused between wants and needs. A birthright is about needs. Only.

A person’s birthright makes itself manifest in a fairly forthright manner. It is the measure of your life thus far. What you have been doing since the day you were born is what determines your reward in the form of your birthright. If you are familiar with yourself, you will know who you are the minute you open your eyes. If you aren’t, you won’t.

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13 Oct 2014 · 11:33

Childhood – Blog No. 56

childhood

Childhood is for children. That means it is a time of innocence. Every child has innocence. Should you be responsible for taking the innocent wonder out of the life-experience of a child, you will have a lot to answer for when that child becomes an adult. It is not easy to ensure that a childhood is untainted in this day and age, but it is possible.

Childhood is short for most children these days, that is why it is important to cherish the idea of it. Again I will say it, if you cannot offer a child a happy childhood, why have one? That kind of a betrayal is sacrilege. Children are all born with hope. Love, and innocence too. If you choose to damage these faculties in a child, you can safely consider yourself a cruel person.

There are those parents that will live vicariously through their children, and this, too, tampers with the early experience that children should be having. Children need guidance, they do not need their parents to make their choices for them. Childhood is a time for exploration, for children to learn how to make sense of the world they have been born into. An adult is not able to make up a child’s mind.

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24 Apr 2014 · 11:13

Understanding – Blog No. 22

understandingIt is an interesting thought.  How do you convey an understanding?  That is some skill, when you can do that effectively.  It is a skill we are all learning, all the time.  It is about being skilled in communication.  However you choose to do that.  Understanding is visceral.  You can feel it.  How do you confer a feeling?  First you must understand the feeling before you can attempt to share it.  When you hear a truth, remember that you do not need to remind yourself to remember it for the future, when you hear a truth it sinks right in.  You have to do nothing more than hear it.  Hearing is not the same as listening.  Also, it is best if you do not start trying to fight the truth with reason – man’s reason ought not be valued as much as it is in this world.  It tries with its noise to out-shout others whose opinions are more valuable.

It is said that love means understanding a person’s position when they wrong you, treat you badly.  Instead of lashing out, you stand back and you consider what pain the person must be in.  Pain governs a great deal of bad behaviour and oftentimes deserves empathy.  This can be challenging.  Of course, should the person treating you badly simply be an arsehole, then take yourself out of their equation.  In life there is really little point in surrounding yourself with arseholes, do not allow yourself to become one, either.  It is a choice.

To share an understanding with another is a beautiful thing indeed.  Your understandings will guide you in life.  They guide very effectively when you have them accessible, your understandings lead you to ever-new perceptions about people, times, places.  Fresh perceptions are necessary in life.  They inspire you.  When you understand something new, or you understand a thing differently to the way you understood it before, you give yourself tools with which to work your life around you.  It is worth taking time to understand a thing, things.  Tools come in a variety of shapes, and sizes.

 

 

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25 Mar 2014 · 17:27

The Circus – 2

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The matinee performance held at high noon is packed.
Word of the glamour girls has leaked out. It never takes long.
The dads volunteer a day off work to take the kids on an ‘outing’.
The moms visit the spas and get pedicures. What a treat!
The cowboys have included some Indians in their act.
That always gets the boys hopping.
The girls watch, impassive.
They have seen prejudice before.
The boys beg for bows and arrows from the souvenir stall on the way out.
They want to shoot.
The dads comply. They want to shoot.
All in all, everyone leaves smiling.
The girls do like watching the dancers.

Do you buy candyfloss or popcorn when choosing snacks for your kids?
Perhaps you ask them their preference.
That is the polite thing to do.
If your child is too young to make a selection for itself, get both.
The child will appreciate your enterprise.
Do you believe that children should not eat sugar or salt?
Like fructose and gluten-free lactose are the only options?
Then you are destroying the delight in a child.
Everything in moderation (despite moderation being potentially fatal),
so we must also consider moderation in moderation.
That logic works for adults and for children.
You cannot watch a child laugh too much.
You cannot watch a child love too much.
The same applies to adults.

The trapeze artists/artistes warm up with their opening act.
They may as well.
Point. Flex. Lunge. Stretch. Breathe.
Point. Flex. Lunge. Stretch. Breathe.
They celebrate their evolution the way it should be celebrated.
They pay tribute to their muse.
The ‘aerial silk’ is not nervous.
Nerves do not play in their game.
They do not pay, either.
The trapeze artists/artistes have respect for the ‘aerial silk’.
You cannot witness their art and remain scornful of human beings.
Did you ever watch The Cirque de Soleil?
If you never did – you should.
Who needs animals?

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24 Feb 2014 · 12:43

Jealousy – Blog No. 10

JealousyJealousy is a pest.  However, it should never be ignored.  It should be dealt with each and every time it stings your life.  Jealousy’s root is Love, which is extremely positive.  Love with a capital L because when you understand the very powerful force that Love is, as opposed to the distant whisper of ‘a’ love with a little l, you will understand that the capital is as deserved as that of Nature’s capital N.  Your human nature is small, the force of Nature is omnipresent, and omnipotent.

If you can realise that jealousy is in fact Love upside-down then you will be able to accept it, because you will know that it comes from pure motivation, despite its effects on a person being negative.  Pure motivation can be trusted, so trust your feelings, but do not allow them to dominate your behaviours.  This is in your power.  You have to control a jealous surge if it rises inside you – bring your mind to heel.  The jealousy is just your mind playing games with your insecurities.

Jealousy is not the same as envy.  Be sure you know the difference.  Jealousy is not possessiveness, either, although the two are often entwined.  Please know that you cannot possess another person.  That will kill their spirit.  If it can be accepted that nothing is ‘yours’ to hold on to in this life, then jealousy becomes unnecessary.  You realise that you cannot allow your mind to dominate you with its hints, suggestions, and you move on from feelings of jealousy with a determination.  You hold mind firmly in its place – it knows well where that place is – and you stand back and watch your jealousy happen, and then let it go.  It is essential to let it go.

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06 Jan 2014 · 14:45

Closure – Blog No. 1

VWNoUSPlease understand that without closure you cannot move forwards.  Closure is the first step towards repair.  If you do not care to repair the damages done to you then I guess yours is a pretty pointless existence.  It is vital to recognise damages done, and it is vital to assimilate those damages so that you can get yourself into a position where you can work your future without the drag of your past.  You are not in the past, stop living there.  You are in the now.  Your future is waiting patiently for you to wake up and claim it.

Should you be struggling to find closure after the death of a loved one, remember that their death has opened doors for you.  A death always does.  I would suggest viewing the body of the departed, if such is possible, before you say your farewells.  Seeing the lifeless corpse is not something to be afraid of.  It can do nothing to you.  It is dead.  The death is easier to accept when you are faced with its reality.  Should you be unable to find closure after the death of a love relationship, remember that its demise came for a reason.  You cannot hold on to a dead love.  Funny, you cannot hold on to a live love, either.  Love will not be held down.  It has its prescribed work to do and it is not sentimental about your inability as humans to treasure its actuality.  It is alive, and it moves.  Head to head, heart to heart.  You fail to appreciate its gift to this world and it leaves.  There is nothing static about Love.  Nothing.

Teach children about closure.  Encourage them to speak about their feelings.  Be interested in what they find hurtful, stressful.  Listen to a child’s heartbreak, should such happen to your child and it is able to explain it to you.  To find closure you need to do personal work.  It doesn’t just happen.  You have to be brave enough to distress yourself with memories, feelings, disappointments.  Really.  It is time to be realistic about the state of your internal affairs.  2014 is for progress.  Tidy up.

 

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21 Oct 2013 · 16:08

Relationships – Blog No. 81

Family-Relationships-bingoWhat are the components of a perfect love relationship?  You both get what you need.  You do not judge one another for being who you are – which means you do not piss each other off, or disappoint each other.  You want the best for your other half – which means you want them to be happy, whatever that takes.  If you are not interested in a perfect relationship then why are you in one?  Of course these components are ideals.  Subscribe to them.  We live in an idealistic society.  In case you did not yet notice there are a lot of people in this world who expect perfection and so they should.  Nature is perfect.  Perfect in her execution, her delivery.  If you need an example, follow hers.

If you are not in a relationship with someone you love you are not developing as a human being.  You cannot develop your connections, your social skills on your own.  Your relationships – all of them – mould your person.  Be brave in relationships, you will learn a lot.  If you do not have or care about having social skills, then that is another matter altogether.   Relationships are usually challenging – it is not often you find a perfect love relationship.  Know they do exist.  If you wish to have one you must expect to search for it.  You do not just happen upon perfection.  You need to want it, and you have to know how you are going to get it.

You should get to make choices in your relationships.  In this day and age you should not be forced to be with someone because another person says you must.  That is ridiculous.  Arranged situations are no longer necessary, they went out with the ark.  Know that if you believe in match-making because you will somehow gain from the association, you must change your thinking.  That kind of strategic breeding has had its day.  It is no longer the best way forwards.  You need to let go of your old ideas.  You may not dictate who another might – or might not – love.  That never works.  Love decides who is best for who.  Not you.

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20 Aug 2013 · 08:43

Vanity – Blog No. 65

mirror-mirror-on-the-wall2You are not vain if you take care of your appearance.  You are not vain if you are self-conscious about how you look to the world and you spend time on presenting your best.  Just do not get caught in the trap of thinking you are the reason this earth revolves.  If you should imagine that the sun shines out of your backside, please reassess yourself.  That would be vanity.  When you follow the thinking that you are in some way superior to another person because of how you look, you are misguided.

Vanity is not an attractive quality.  It negatively affects the nature of a person, you lose your sense of self when you become vain.  People who buy into their own hype in life, are vain.  I do not understand how anyone can buy into their own hype.  How can you fall for your own tricks?  These society people who are in love with themselves are falling for the oldest trick in the book.  When you are mesmerised by your own reflection in this world, you are closed to possibility.  Worshipping yourself is not advisable if you have any plans of going anywhere worthwhile or having a lasting impact on this planet.  People tire easily of those who love to blow their own trumpets.  The noise they make destroys the peace of transformation going on all around us.  When you are stuck staring at how great you are you forget that you are here to serve humanity.  The planet needs more people who are prepared to put down their mirrors and see for real.

It is easy to check where you are in life with vanity – you need to ask yourself why you are loved.  That is always a very interesting question to ask of yourself, and of the people who love you.  It is not always easy to spell out the reasons one has love for another, but it is worth checking with a partner why they think they ‘love’ you.  When you hear why, you will understand how your partner sees Love.  You should always consider important how your partner views Love.  It may not be the same way you look at it.  Love should be able to speak clearly for itself.  If someone loves you and they are too shy to tell you why, that is sweet.  Perhaps treasure that innocence.  If a person can show you why they love you, even better.  Showing is usually far better than telling.

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16 Aug 2013 · 16:03

Stress – Blog No. 64

spannungStress can kill you.  Easily.  Take it on at your peril.  Whether it is relationship stress, work stress, parenting stress or a personal stress – know that it is not good for you.  Your body – your muscles – retain stress for years and years.  Massage – strong massage – is one way to eradicate stored stress in the body.  Exercise, clearly, is another.  If you should leave unattended the stress that living your life has generated, it will mutate into disease and it will harm your body.  It is a given.  You can speak your stresses free.  People should understand that they do not tell themselves enough about what is going on in life.  Silence – when it comes to yourself, your person – is non-productive.  If you cannot give yourself clues about how to run your life, then what help are you to yourself, the world?

Half the stress in our days is generated by our doing other than what we should be doing.  There are very few people on this planet – when you consider that there are about 7 billion of us – that love what they do for a living.  There are too many people following the mentality of the previous generations.  What are they doing?  Every single generation must think differently.  You have to think in the now.  This world is not like it was, then.  If you cannot align your thinking with the way this planet works these days then you are at a disadvantage to begin with.  To become aligned, you need to accept that there is a lot of hate and a lot of hurt in our world.

Animals feel stress.  They feel pain, love, terror, hate.  Only those animals trained to fight and do stupid tricks for humans, learn hate.  Cruelty and abuse break their spirit.  In the wild, animals do not know hate.  Animals just get each other – in fact far better than people do, as humans.  Each type of animal accepts its place in the scheme of things.  They use each other when the need arises.  They are not usually shitty about it.  They eat each other and they breed with each other, they co-exist in the ecosystem.  They play with life and they survive, they are not cruel.  They are not greedy – they are not human.

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